0-3 years old is a special sensitive period for young children to desire love, the time is very short, to grasp well. Today, let's interpret how parents can make their children feel unconditional true love during the sensitive period of longing for love.
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Hit you because you like you, don't label people
When Xiao He was less than two years old and did not speak much, her mother found that Xiao He hit people when she saw them (except strangers), and the speed was extremely fast, and the adults did not react at all.
Xiao He didn't see anyone beating, usually relatives and friends who had come to the house or children of similar age.
Xiao He likes to play with her aunt. Every time the aunt returned to Xiao He's house and did not sit down, Xiao He reached out and hit her aunt's hand, and the aunt loved Xiao He and knew that Xiao He also liked her. Moreover, when Xiao He hit someone, his face was smiling and squinting, and the little child did not hurt when he hit him.
Sure enough, Xiaohe pulled her aunt and uncle to read books, play puzzles, and tell stories together, she was particularly happy, and showed her housekeeping skills to her aunt. Watch her new skirt, new toys, ride a rocking horse, scooter, play slide, push the ball to you, let you catch it, and twist you.
But after all, this "beating" action, for outsiders, especially in the kindergarten to "hit" other children, is still easy to cause misunderstanding.
At this time, Xiao He's mother tried to express for Xiao He: "Does Xiao He like her aunt and want to play with her aunt?" "Then you don't have to slap your aunt and aunt, use your hand to pull your aunt's hand, and your aunt can play with Xiaohe."
Xiao He knew the original way to express his likes, and he could also use his hands to express it, after several attempts, Xiao He quickly learned not to use the "hitting" way to express who he liked.
When you find that the child begins to use the expression of "hitting people", the mother should not be indifferent, thinking that the children are like this, which is not advisable. If the mother does not guide the child to express it in the right way, the child will always use the "beating" way to interact with people, and in the long run, it will become a real beating.
See here, do you understand? Because Xiao He is not very good at using words, but Xiao He is in a sensitive period of longing for love, and is very eager to find someone to play with her. So she uses the "beating" method to express that she is close to someone.
Parents should not only teach their children to express themselves in the right way. Usual words and deeds are also very important, children imitate very strongly, adults' words and deeds, children can not distinguish, will directly learn to do. Therefore, parents should also pay attention to not having simple and rude behavior in front of their children.
If the parents label people and scold, "If you hit someone again, you don't like you", so that she does not dare to express her kindness truthfully, and in the long run, she will become introverted and unwilling to get along with people, which is extremely detrimental to the growth of the child.
Forcing the child to call or perform, the child does not feel true love
Xiao He is about two and a half years old, and will receive Tang poems, that is, her mother said the previous sentence, and she took the next sentence. As simple as the poem "Mercy Farmer", she will memorize the whole poem.
Once, playing in the park, I met a friend of my mother's, with a little brother.
Mom asked Xiao He to say, "Auntie is good, little brother is good." But Xiao He only stared at people and did not make a sound. After saying it many times, I just don't open my mouth. When her mother saw that she was reluctant to open her mouth, she said that Xiao He did not know the little brother, and the next time she knew, she would say it. However, Xiao He is a polite child who can smile at his little brother, and Xiao He listened to his mother's words of encouragement and smiled at his little brother.
The mother's approach is very correct, neither forced to embarrass the child, but also polite, so that Xiaohe has no psychological burden and is very stable in her heart. Feel the gentle and kind love of your mother.
On the contrary, the little brother's mother did not do it.
Seeing that Xiao He did not open his mouth to call people, the friend aunt asked the little brother to recite poems to Xiao He. The little brother may also be a child and unwilling to carry it.
The aunt shouted loudly on the spot: "You are really timid and useless, you know that the family is horizontal." Just a mute on the outside, and Mom doesn't like you at all. ”
Auntie's approach is very inappropriate. After listening to my mother, the little brother cried, and I could see that I was very uneasy and afraid, and I didn't dare to cry loudly, very aggrieved and pitiful.
These two completely different ways of education, the child's feelings in their hearts are also very different. The child is still young, she can not express love in words, but she can feel the love of her mother, is not unconditional true love. For example, the little brother will only feel that his mother loves him who can recite poetry, and his mother does not love him if he does not recite poetry.
For children in a sensitive period, the love of parents must not be utilitarian, and they cannot force their children to obey in order to satisfy the vanity of adults.
Conditional love, in the young minds of children, they lack the nourishment of love, the heart is poor, there is no self-confidence, and when they grow up, they do not know how to love themselves, nor can they love others.
There is no lack of love in childhood, and only when you grow up will you love. Every step of a child's growth process is related to her happiness in the life after she grows up. The education of parents is crucial. Learn more about the deep reasons behind each child's behavior, accept the child's imperfections, and love the child unconditionally from the heart.