現代大學英語精讀第二版（第三冊）學習筆記（原文及全文翻譯）——6B - They Dared Cocaine—and Lost（嘗試可卡因後，他們迷失了）

Unit 6B - They Dared Cocaine—and Lost

They Dared Cocaine—and Lost

Hengry Hurt

A Dream Destroyed

Stan Belin was born in the 1930s to an urban family locked in the grip of the Great Depression. His was a fractured family—one in which his parents fought constantly. "I lived with a feeling of impending doom," he says. This fear drove him to be a model child.

Stan has a vivid memory of once leaning against a bridge railing as a boy and gazing at a handsome party boat passing below. He could see people on deck enjoying their outing. It was a scene of comfort and luxury he could hardly have imagined. That mental picture influenced the boy's idea of success. His goals became money, power, and prestige.

Stan did well in school. He found his greatest academic success in his science courses. But he lacked the confidence to pursue a medical career and turned to dentistry as a quicker route to his life's goals.

He married a young woman he had known since high school, and for over 20 years Stan and Jane lived a life that many people would envy. His reputation spread, the money started rolling in and he was appointed to a prestigious position by his state government. Two healthy children were born. The family had a magnificent house, expensive automobiles and took exotic vacations.

The crowning touch for Stan came when he bought a luxury yacht and sailed to the bridge where, as a child, he had first glimpsed what he hoped would be his future.

"I told Jane the story," he says. "As I spoke, I realized that something was all wrong. I possessed everything I had ever dreamed of, but I felt very sad and hopeless. What was worse, I knew it would never change."

Then in the early 1980s, a doctor friend invited Stan to dinner. The friend said he had been using cocaine as an anti-depressant. He described it as a marvelous nonaddictive drug. Stan decided the drug might be just right for his own depression.

From the instant I snorted the first line of cocaine, I was addicted, says Stan. "It gave me poise, confidence, happiness—things I had believed money should buy. It made me seem a better person, a better talker, a better dentist."

At first Stan did not believe that he was doing anything wrong: "I thought I had finally found an anti-depressant drug that raised me from my misery. It angered me that such a wonderful drug would continue to be outlawed."

Two years after Stan's introduction to cocaine, his insulation from the world of street addiction was knocked asunder when his physician friend was murdered. A week later, Stan walked out of his dental office and never returned. "At the time, I believed I could not deal with the pressures of my practice, but that wasn't it. I just needed more time for my addiction."

He spent his days aimlessly—going shopping with his wife, and wandering from doctor to doctor to find help for his depression—all the while snorting cocaine. He took menial jobs. He frequently considered suicide.

By the third year of Stan's addiction, the effects of cocaine were increasingly fleeting. The high would last for only seconds before he would crash back to the depths of his depression.

Finally, it reached the point where I just stood around crying, Stan says. Jane knew her husband's condition was desperate, and she persuaded him to enter an addiction center. Stan checked into a prominent institution, but he had one-half ounce of cocaine concealed in his clothes. "I was cooperative for a few days, until I had snorted up my cocaine," Stan says. Then he split—as he did other times when Jane convinced him to seek help.

Once when Stan believed he had finally beaten his addiction, he was washing his car and saw a small vial of cocaine, a leftover from his past, roll from beneath the carpet. "Just the sight of it made me high," he recalls. "I put it in my pocket. I thought it would make me stronger to keep it and resist the temptation. But my mind never left that vial."

Like a serpent coiled in Stan's pocket, the little vial of cocaine lay quietly. A war raged in Stan's mind. Then the serpent struck with a ferocity known only to those who are powerless against their addiction. Today Stan has completed an extensive rehabilitation program for his addiction and works as a counselor in a drug program. His salary is one-seventh what he earned as a dentist; his house and boat are gone.

Only time will reveal if he finally has beaten his addiction. Now, as he tries to build his new life, Stan is determined not to let the serpent get so close. (791 words)

Dance Of Death

At the age of 21, Patrick Bissell burst upon New York as principal dancer of the American Ballet Theatre. Rarely had a man so young dazzled so many in the supercharged, intensely competitive world of ballet. He was praised, in the words of Mikhail Baryshnikov, as "one of the brightest lights in the entire ballet world."

Patrick Bissell also helped bury the American myth that ballet is for sissies. At six feet, two inches tall, Patrick was a tough, hard-drinking kid from Texas with a passion for motorcycles, cowboy boots and women. He was a muscle man who could twirl ballerinas into the air and make them look as graceful as butterflies.

Seven months after his birth in 1957, baby Bissell was not walking, according to his mother; he was actually running. When Patrick was ten, his sister bribed him with her allowance to come to her dance class, because she needed a partner. His natural gifts of coordination and stamina were stunning, and from that point on, his destiny was dance.

The ballet world is notoriously brutal in its physical and emotional demands. The primary goal is absolute perfection. Unlike a professional athlete, which many believe Bissell could have become, a ballet star never has the satisfaction of knowing a final score, or of beating the competition. He competes only against himself—and for a perfectionist this may be the harshest competition of all.

When young Bissell set off for life, his mother believes he carried with him seeds that would lead to his destruction. Patrick was one of five children born in six years to Patricia and Donald Bissell, an ambitious young couple who moved six times by the time Patrick was 12.

Patricia Bissell, herself terribly frustrated during those years, is convinced that her son's self-esteem was so battered by her emotional and physical beatings when he was a child that he carried with him a deep-seated hatred of himself. True or not, Patrick Bissell's life seems tormented from the time he was a very young man.

Every indication is that, even early in his career, Bissell was addicted to cocaine, alcohol and other drugs. But his strength and skill were so tremendous that he was able to perform the most demanding work without his managers' knowing the truth.

In her autobiography, Dancing on My Grave, ballerina Gelsey Kirkland claims that Bissell introduced her to cocaine soon after his success in New York City, thus setting their private stage for a long affair of sex and drugs.

She watched Bissell's paranoia grow to the point that, when he slept, he kept a hatchet under the bed and a knife under his pillow. He would stand by the apartment door for hours with a can of Mace to fend off imagined intruders.

In 1981, only three years into his career, Bissell slashed his wrist. When the paramedics reached him, Bissell smashed a bottle to use for a weapon and fought them off. Next day, he was bandaged and back onstage.

By this time, he and Kirkland were clearly out of control—spending weeks on cocaine binges. Increasingly they were absent from rehearsals and late for performances. Both were fired from their jobs, rehired and fired again. In the end, Gelsey Kirkland sought help.

Patrick Bissell did not.

In the fall of 1987, the ballet company sent Bissell away for treatment—to the Betty Ford Center in California. He told friends that he was ready to clear up his life. He wanted a fresh start.

He was released a week early and returned to New York. During December, Amy Rose, a ballerina he had become engaged to, was on tour in California and would return to New York after the holidays. Alone, Bissell got a Christmas tree and decorated it for their apartment.

On December 23, he had a long telephone conversation with his parents. His mother begged him to join them at home. He declined, explaining that being alone during Christmas was a chance for him to show that he was strong enough to live without cocaine.

Four days after Christmas, Amy Rose let herself into the apartment. She discovered Patrick's body on the living-room couch. Patrick Bissell was dead of an overdose of cocaine and other drugs. He had just turned 30.

Patricia Bissell's voice breaks as she speaks of a death notice for her son in The New York Times. Beneath the name Bissell, it simply states: "Good night, sweet prince."

It is impossible to say what, if anything, could have saved Patrick Bissell once he had begun his long dance of death. His mother, realizing that her assessment runs counter to some expert wisdom, offers a powerful insight:

We are quick to blame such tragedies on others—on peer pressure, stressful occupations, drug dealers, everyone except ourselves. But most of these problems begin at home, when children are being brought up. It is hard for me to admit this, but I failed to nurture in Patrick the self-esteem he needed to deal with life. No matter how well he did, he felt that he had failed. He used drugs because they allowed him to escape that feeling. When we come to understand and accept this aspect of addiction, maybe we can do something about it.

參考譯文——嘗試可卡因後，他們迷失了

嘗試可卡因後，他們迷失了

亨利·赫特

破滅的夢

斯坦·貝林于20世紀30年代出生在一個飽受經濟大蕭條之苦的城市家庭裡。這是一個破裂的家庭——他的父母常常無休止地吵架。“我生活中總感覺末日将至。”他說。這種恐懼的心理促使他成了一名模範好孩子。

斯坦還清楚地記得，小時候，有一次他靠在一座橋的欄杆上，出神地望着一艘豪華遊艇在橋下駛過。他能看到甲闆上的人在盡情地享受着旅遊的快樂。那是一種他從來沒有想象過的舒适、奢侈的情景。他頭腦中的這幅畫面影響了他對成功的看法。他的目标變成了追求金錢、權力和名望。

斯坦在學校成績很好，尤其在理科方面成績優異，但是他對從事醫學缺乏信心，便轉向了牙科，把它作為實作自己生活目标的一條捷徑。

他與在中學時代就相識的一位女士結了婚，20多年來，斯坦和妻子簡過着令許多人羨慕的日子。他聲名大噪，财源滾滾，在州政府擔任要職，并有了兩個健康的孩子。他們擁有了豪華的住宅、昂貴的汽車，還常到國外度假。

斯坦最輝煌的時刻到了，他買了一艘豪華遊艇，駛向他兒時第一次瞥見遊艇并開始夢想擁有遊艇的那座橋下。

“我告訴了簡那個故事，”他說，“我說的時候意識到，這一切都錯了，我擁有了想要得到的一切東西，但我卻感到非常悲哀和無助。更糟糕的是，我清楚這種狀況将無法改變。”

後來，80年代初，一位醫生朋友請斯坦吃飯。那位朋友說，他一直使用可卡因作為抗憂郁症的藥品，他把可卡因描繪為一種神奇的、不會上瘾的藥。斯坦覺得，這種藥也許适用于自己的憂郁症。

“從我吸食第一口可卡因開始，我就上瘾了，”斯坦說，“可卡因給我安定、信心和幸福的感覺——這些我原來以為應該用金錢才可以買到。它使得我看起來更優秀，更健談，醫療技術更高明。”

起初，斯坦不相信他在做錯事。“我以為終于發現了一種抗憂郁症的藥品。它會使我從痛苦中擺脫出來。令我感到氣憤的是，這樣一種奇妙的藥品還被當作違禁品。”

斯坦吸食可卡因兩年後，（介紹他吸毒的）醫生朋友被謀殺了。從此他和街頭的瘾君子之間的隔斷被打破了。一個星期以後，斯坦走出他的牙科診所，再沒有回來。“當時，我認為我無法應對來自職業的壓力，但是實際上不是這樣的。我隻是需要更多的時間來滿足毒瘾。”

他毫無目的地打發時間——和妻子一起購物、四處登門求醫、讓醫生幫助治療他的憂郁症——同時還一直在吸食可卡因。他從事着一些不體面的工作，經常想到自殺。

到了斯坦染上毒瘾的第三個年頭，可卡因的作用時間變得越來越短。可卡因引起的快感隻能持續幾秒鐘，随後他便重新跌進抑郁的深淵。

“最後，我淪落到随地哭泣的地步。”斯坦說。簡明白丈夫已經深處絕境，便勸說他前往戒毒中心。斯坦登記住進了一家有名的戒毒機構，但他在衣服裡藏了半盎司可卡因。“開始幾天我比較配合，直到我吸食完了帶進來的可卡因。”斯坦說。然後他就溜了——以前簡讓他去尋求醫生幫助時他也這樣做過。

有一次，斯坦相信自己最終戰勝了毒瘾，可是他在清洗汽車的時候，看見了過去吸剩下的一小瓶可卡因從地毯下滾了出來。看見它，我的快感就來了，”他回憶道，“我把它裝進口袋。我覺得，儲存它并抵禦其誘惑會使我堅強起來。但是我的頭腦裡一直在想着那個小瓶。”

那瓶可卡因像一條蜷伏在斯坦衣袋裡的毒蛇一樣安靜地待在那裡。斯坦的頭腦中爆發了一場大戰。接着毒蛇發起進攻，其兇惡程度隻有那些無力抗拒毒瘾的人們才有體會。

如今，斯坦已完成了戒除毒瘾的全面康複計劃，并擔任一個戒毒項目的咨詢指導。他的工資是當牙醫時的七分之一，他的住房和遊艇也已屬于他人。

他能否最終戰勝毒瘾，隻有讓時間來證明。現在，斯坦正在全力打造他的生活，決心不讓那條毒蛇再靠近。

死亡之舞

21歲那年，帕特裡克·比斯爾突然在紐約名聲大噪，成為美國芭蕾舞劇院的領銜舞蹈演員。很少有人在他這樣的年紀便在競争極其激烈的芭蕾舞界征服如此多的觀衆。米凱亞·巴瑞辛尼科夫稱贊他是“整個芭蕾舞界最耀眼的舞蹈明星之一”。

帕特裡克·比斯爾也打破了跳芭蕾舞的男子都女裡女氣的美國式謬論。帕特裡克來自得克薩斯州，身高6英尺2英寸，是一個強壯的青年，能喝酒，酷愛機車、牛仔靴和女人。他肌肉發達，能将芭蕾舞女演員旋轉着抛向空中，使她們像彩蝶一般婀娜多姿。

據比斯爾的母親講述，1957年，在出生後僅7個月的時候，嬰兒比斯爾不是在走，實際上已經會跑了。他10歲那年，姐姐用零花錢哄他陪自己去舞蹈班學習，因為她需要個舞伴。他那與生倶來的協調力與耐力令人驚訝，從那時起，他就與舞蹈結下了不解之緣。

芭蕾舞對體力和情感的要求很苛刻，這是出了名的，而絕對完美是其首要目标。許多人認為比斯爾本應成為一名職業運動員，而芭蕾舞明星與運動員不同，永遠不能通過知曉最終比賽結果或在競争中獲勝而獲得滿足感。他隻和自己競争——對于一個完美主義者來說，這可能是最嚴酷的競争。

比斯爾的母親認為，從他離家奮鬥開始，他就埋下了會導緻其毀滅的種子。帕特裡克是帕特裡夏和唐納德·比斯爾在6年裡生下的5個孩子中的一個，到帕特裡克12歲時，這一對雄心勃勃的年輕夫婦已搬遷了6次。

帕特裡夏·比斯爾本人在那些年裡深受挫折，她深信兒子的自尊心在童年時就由于她對其身心的打擊而受到了傷害，他是以對自身有一種根深蒂固的仇恨。不管她說的是否屬實，帕特裡克·比斯爾似乎自童年起生活就受到了困擾。

各種迹象表明，甚至，在比斯爾舞蹈生涯的初期，他就已對可卡因、酒精和其他毒品産生了依賴。但是他的力量和技藝超人，總能夠完成要求最嚴格苛刻的表演，而他的經理人卻不知曉任何實情。

女芭蕾舞演員格爾西·柯克蘭在其自傳《墳墓上的舞蹈》中聲稱，比斯爾在紐約市一舉成名後不久，便誘使她吸食了可卡因，從此他們之間保持着長期的性關系，并共同吸食毒品。

她注意到比斯爾的妄想症加劇。在他睡覺時，床下放着一把短柄手斧，枕下放着一把刀。他還常常一連幾個小時站在較高價的電梯大廈房門旁，手裡拿着一罐催淚瓦斯，準備抵禦想象中的闖入者。

1981年，這是比斯爾的事業剛剛開始的第三年，他割腕了。當醫護人員走近他時，他打碎了一隻瓶子當作武器，把他們趕走了。第二天，他紮着繃帶回到了舞台上。

到這時，他和柯克蘭顯然已無法自拔——連續幾個星期都在狂吸可卡因。他們不參加排練，演出遲到，并且次數越來越多。兩人都被解雇了，之後得到重新聘用，又再次被解雇。格爾西·柯克蘭最終尋求了幫助。

帕特裡克·比斯爾卻沒有這樣做。

1987年秋天，芭蕾舞公司送比斯爾去治療——到加利福尼亞州的貝蒂福特中心。他告訴朋友們，他準備戒毒，想重新開始生活。

他提前一星期就被放了出來，回到了紐約。12月，與他訂婚的女芭蕾舞演員埃米·羅斯去加利福尼亞州旅行，并将在假期結束後回到紐約。于是比斯爾獨自一人去買了一棵聖誕樹，将較高價的電梯大廈裝飾起來。

12月23日，他和父母進行了電話長談。母親懇求他回家一塊過節，但他拒絕了。他解釋說，一個人的聖誕節使他有機會證明自己已經十分堅強，離開可卡因也可以生活下去。

聖誕節後的第四天，埃米·羅斯走進較高價的電梯大廈，在起房間的沙發上發現了帕特裡克的屍體。帕特裡克·比斯爾死于過量吸食可卡因和其他毒品。他年僅30歲。

帕特裡夏·比斯爾在提到《紐約時報》上有關她兒子的訃告時泣不成聲。在比斯爾的名字下，訃告上簡單地寫着：晚安，可愛的芭蕾王子。

我們也不能斷定在帕特裡克·比斯爾開始他漫長的死亡之舞時，還有什麼能夠挽救他。他母親覺得自己的看法與某些專家相悖，于是發表了她深刻而有力的見解：

“我們急于把此類悲劇歸咎給他人——歸罪給同輩的壓力、壓力大的職業、毒品販子，埋怨每個人，就是不願意責怪自身。可是這些問題大多起源于家庭，起源于孩子的成長過程。我很難承認這一點，但是我确實沒能在兒子身上培養他面對生活的自尊。無論他曾經表現得如何出色，他總是覺得自己失敗了。他吸食毒品，因為毒品能使他逃避這種感覺。當我們漸漸了解并接受他吸毒成瘾的原因時，也許有些事是我們可以做的。”

Key Words:

exotic      [eg'zɔtik]

adj. 異國的，外來的，奇異的，脫衣舞的

vivid ['vivid]   

adj. 生動的，鮮豔的，栩栩如生的

prestige  [pres'ti:ʒ]

n. 威望，聲望

luxury     ['lʌkʃəri] 

n. 奢侈，豪華，奢侈品

outing    ['autiŋ]   

n. 郊遊，遠足，外出

depression     [di'preʃən]     

n. 沮喪，蕭條

impending     [im'pendiŋ]   

adj. 逼迫的，迫切的，即将發生的 動詞impend的

scene      [si:n]

n. 場，景，情景

academic       [.ækə'demik] 

adj. 學術的，學院的，理論的

reputation      [.repju'teiʃən] 

n. 聲譽，好名聲

dentist    ['dentist]

n. 牙科醫生

misery    ['mizəri]  

n. 痛苦，悲慘的境遇，苦難

spoke     [spəuk]  

v. 說，說話，演說

marvelous     ['mɑ:viləs]     

adj. 令人驚異的，了不起的，不平常的

confidence     ['kɔnfidəns]   

adj. 騙得信任的

n. 信任，信心，把握

physician [fi'ziʃən]  

n. 内科醫生

depression     [di'preʃən]     

n. 沮喪，蕭條

poise      [pɔiz]     

n. 平衡，姿勢，鎮靜，懸空 vt. 使 ... 平衡，

addiction [ə'dikʃən]     

n. 沉溺，上瘾

resist      [ri'zist]    

v. 抵抗，反抗，抵制，忍住

n. 防蝕塗層

concealed      [kən'si:ld]

adj. 隐蔽的，隐匿的

menial    ['mi:niəl] 

adj. 适合仆人做的，卑微的 n. 傭人，家仆，卑賤的

ferocity   [fə'rɔsiti] 

n. 兇猛性，殘忍性，狂暴的行為

desperate      ['despərit]      

adj. 絕望的，不顧一切的

convinced      [kən'vinst]     

adj. 信服的

institution      [.insti'tju:ʃən] 

n. 機構，制度，創立

fleeting   ['fli:tiŋ]   

adj. 飛逝的(疾馳的，短暫的，急走的)

split [split]     

n. 劈開，裂片，裂口

extensive [iks'tensiv]     

adj. 廣泛的，廣闊的，廣大的

dazzled         

adj. 目眩的；眼花撩亂的 v. （使）眼花（dazz

dentist    ['dentist]

n. 牙科醫生

rehabilitation  [.ri:hə.bili'teiʃən]    

n. 複原

reveal     [ri'vi:l]    

vt. 顯示，透露

n. (外牆與門或窗之間的

myth      [miθ]     

n. 神話

partner   ['pɑ:tnə] 

n. 搭檔，夥伴，合夥人

v. 同 ... 合

competitive    [kəm'petitiv]  

adj. 競争的，比賽的

graceful  ['greisfəl]

adj. 優雅的

coordination  [kəu'ɔ:di'neiʃən]    

n. 協調

perfection      [pə'fekʃən]     

n. 完美，完善

grave      [greiv]    

n. 墳墓，墓穴

adj. 嚴肅的，嚴重的，莊

autobiography      [.ɔ:təbai'ɔgrəfi]      

n. 自傳

destruction    [di'strʌkʃən]   

n. 破壞，毀滅，破壞者

indication       [.indi'keiʃən]  

n. 表示，訓示，象征

brutal     ['bru:tl]   

adj. 野蠻的，殘暴的

athlete    ['æθli:t]  

n. 運動員

primary  ['praiməri]     

adj. 主要的，初期的，根本的，初等教育的

ambitious      [æm'biʃəs]    

adj. 有雄心的，有抱負的，野心勃勃的

perform  [pə'fɔ:m] 

v. 執行，運轉，舉行，表演

engaged [in'geidʒd]     

adj. 忙碌的，使用中的，訂婚了的

control    [kən'trəul]      

n. 克制，控制，管制，操作裝置

vt. 控制

ballet      ['bælei]  

n. 芭蕾舞

conversation  [.kɔnvə'seiʃən]

n. 會話，談話

mace      [meis]    

n. 釘頭槌，狼牙棒 n. 權标，執權标者 vt. 向

onstage  ['ɔn'steidʒ, 'ɔ:n-]   

adj. 台上的；台上演出的 adv. 上台；上場

wrist [rist]

n. 手腕，護腕

paranoia [.pærə'nɔiə]   

n. 偏執狂，妄想狂

understand    [.ʌndə'stænd]

vt. 了解，懂，聽說，獲悉，将 ... 了解為，認為<

nurture   ['nə:tʃə]  

n. 養育，照顧，教育，滋養，營養品

pressure ['preʃə]   

n. 壓力，壓強，壓迫

v. 施壓

except     [ik'sept]  

vt. 除，除外

prep. & conj.

stressful  ['stresfəl]

adj. 緊張的，壓力重的

addiction [ə'dikʃən]

n. 沉溺，上瘾

impossible     [im'pɔsəbl]    

adj. 不可能的，做不到的

escape    [is'keip]  

v. 逃跑，逃脫，避開

n. 逃跑，逃脫，(逃

insight    ['insait]   

n. 洞察力

blame     [bleim]   

n. 過失，責備

參考資料：

1. 現代大學英語精讀(第2版)第三冊:U6B They Dared Cocaine--and Lost(1)_大學教材聽力 - 可可英語
2. 現代大學英語精讀(第2版)第三冊:U6B They Dared Cocaine--and Lost(2)_大學教材聽力 - 可可英語
3. http://www.kekenet.com/daxue/201704/50172shtml
4. http://www.kekenet.com/daxue/201704/50172shtml
5. 現代大學英語精讀(第2版)第三冊:U6B They Dared Cocaine--and Lost(5)_大學教材聽力 - 可可英語
6. 現代大學英語精讀(第2版)第三冊:U6B They Dared Cocaine--and Lost(6)_大學教材聽力 - 可可英語

現代大學英語精讀(第2版)第三冊:U6B They Dared Cocaine--and Lost(7)_大學教材聽力 - 可可英語