Not long ago, after the second-instance judgment of the "wrong exchange of 28 years of life case", the result has not yet been settled, and it is not so much that people argue about the missed blood relationship, but rather that the test is intricate human nature.
Is it the fate of blood and bones that is bound by family affection, or the time when love and warmth are stored in the long river of years?
Known as The writer of Japanese "prose poetry", Hirokazu Kore-eda, also tells the story of two families that happened between two families because of the wrong child.
With gentle brushstrokes, the author brings us a rethinking of blood and kinship.
The author writes in the book: "When can a father really become a father? At what point can a father really hold up the title of 'father'? ”
Perhaps, when you read the child's world, you can see the love that has been owed for a long time, the irreconcilable self, and even the heart that is difficult to redeem in the adult life.
How to gain the strength and courage to be reborn in the layers of life.
Education that does not allow mistakes is inherently wrong
6-year-old Keita was born into an elite family in contemporary Japan, and his father was a senior executive at an architectural design company;
Mother Green takes care of the whole family as a housewife, and the family lives in a luxurious apartment in the city center, with no worries about food and clothing.
The atmosphere of the middle-class family, in addition to the enviable status, even the necessary elite education, does not allow a little slackness.
For the upcoming private school entrance interview, the family is fully prepared.
Even without his father's company, Gyeongta can answer the examiner's questions like a stream, falsely claiming that he likes to camp and fly kites with his father the most.
The lack of time to take care of the parent-child relationship did not make a lot of people less disciplined for their sons.
After working overtime on the weekend, many people who dragged their tired bodies back home also had to repeatedly confirm with their wives whether their sons were insisting on practicing.
And Gyeongta has to practice the piano he doesn't like every day, and he has no bargaining qualifications because of his jerky fingering.
Strict life schedules and habits make him bear more pressure than his peers early.
The silent Gyeongta, under the strict requirements of her father, gradually became an introverted, weak, but unusually sensible child.
Faced with the bullying of other children in the kindergarten, the weak Gyeongta also has to learn to refuse and resist on her own. Only because my father once said: "In today's times, excessive gentleness is a loss." ”
Gyeongdo's inner loneliness and loneliness may only be able to get some comfort and relaxation by the side of his mother who accompanies him day and night.
To him, his father was a person who did not appear in his life very often.
And the only way a father can express his love is just those cold rules, countless promises that cannot be fulfilled. His father was the grown-up who made him more cautious.
As a child's first teacher, parents worry that it is inevitable that their children will make mistakes, that they will be unnecessarily hurt and that they will take the wrong path in life.
However, education that does not allow mistakes cannot be seen in essence, which invisibly causes the estrangement between parents and children, and does not feel warmth and love.
The Soviet writer Lunacharsky once said: "Every child grows up making mistakes that must be paid for progress." ”
As children grow up, we always try to stop them from making mistakes. However, only mistakes can make children face up to the gaps and deficiencies, and it is also the best gift we can give to children.
A life without time and opportunity to make mistakes will one day fall into the quagmire of mistakes in the quagmire of life and eat back on itself.
Because a person who is not afraid of making mistakes is more likely to succeed than a person who does not make mistakes.
Good to lose the real companionship, do not let love become a deficiency
Life is always full of accidents, and sudden twists of fate are unexpected, and also contain indescribable pain and torture.
When the hospital called to say that the child might have been holding the wrong one, Ryodo and Green fell into great pain.
Even to celebrate Kyanto's passing of the elementary school interview, the family sat down together for a rare meal.
But the couple who have not slept all night still can't hide the bitterness in their hearts.
When the DNA results came out, a lot of uneasiness was confirmed that Gyeongta was not their child.
At the same time, many couples are even more distressed when they learn that their son lives in a poor suburban family that sells electrical appliances for a living.
Two children, two families, because of an accident, had to face the trajectory of life again.
Under the regulation of the lawyer, many couples finally met their son Liu Qing for the first time.
Also 6 years old, he is physically strong, taller than Qingduo, with a loud voice and full of momentum.
The weak Keita, whose stature is more in line with Yudai Saiki and Yukiri.
Although the Saiki family is poor, they live freely and happily.
The naturally bold and optimistic Saiki couple made Ryodo and Green quite emotional. Seeing that the children were getting along very well, the lawyer proposed that the children stay at their homes for one night a week.
The generous Ryuharu likes all the novelties, and Midori has deliberately made Ryuharu's favorite beef hot pot and ramen, but the most exquisite and delicious and high-class bedroom always seems to have some less cheerful atmosphere.
At the same time, compared to the hotel-style home, Saiki's home is small but warm.
His father, Yudae and Gyeongta, mingled with him, camping, flying kites, bathing together, and playing in the playground together.
Although her mother, Yukari, has poor cooking skills, she still tries to meet Keita's needs as much as possible.
When staying overnight gradually became a long-term "task", the two families had to become acquainted with each other.
The distance and temperature of family affection are also quietly changing.
Half a year's stay, so that Qingduo gradually began to learn to take care of himself, independent and cheerful. Liu Qing's stubbornness and hardness also began to become soft.
At first, Ryoto was very unhappy with the muddled Yudai Saiki, but later looked at him differently because he could quickly mingle with the child.
As Yudai Saiki says in the book, "Father, is also a job that no one can replace." ”
That's true. As parents, we often value the deep-rooted relationship brought about by blood, but forget that companionship is the best gift to children, and it is the deepest bondage of the soul.
Those missed companionship is not because of the love and dependence that continues from blood, but you have to really spend time and energy to care and love, to accompany and support your child through every step of life.
Only by not escaping the mistakes of life can you become yourself
However, through the investigation, when the two families learned that the hospital's wrong culping incident was not an accident, but the nurse's deliberate act out of jealousy, the angry two families could not accept such a cruel reality.
However, no amount of compensation and condemnation today seems to be able to change the status quo.
The overnight plan became a task with no deadline, and the two children had to face the end of the exchange.
Keita's departure and Ryuharu's arrival make Ryota begin to re-examine his father's role.
In order to let Liu Qing adapt to life as soon as possible, Ryodo has formulated a detailed planning table, but Liu Qing will always question this. Liu Qing has differences in living habits, the way she speaks is not polite, and even her temper makes many people angry. And his wife Green can only silently hurt God.
There was nowhere to release the pain, and with a hint of drunkenness, he found the home of the female nurse who deliberately held the wrong child, and wanted to question her.
Unexpectedly, the nurse's stepson blocked the door and shouted, "That's my mother!" ”
The boy's words instantly aroused a lot of guilt and self-examination.
Remembering what he had done to his gentle and kind stepmother, a wave of remorse struck his heart.
When he was young, because of the lack of his original family, he once vented all his resentment on his stepmother, but he ignored his father's harm.
His father's cursing and beating only accelerated his dislike of his stepmother.
In the eyes of many young people, the stepmother is someone who has nothing to do with herself.
In the face of his stepmother's gentleness and care, Liangduo always fights with cold refusal, and he gradually becomes a cold person like his father.
When Ryodo realized this, he re-examined his education of Gyeongta.
Only then did he suddenly realize that the son was not another self for the father, but an independent and thoughtful individual.
Freed from the shackles of blood, many people have experienced a sense of belonging that they have never had before in their long love.
There is a passage in "In the Name of Family": "Those who are related by blood may not be able to become family, but those who love and protect each other must be able to." ”
It turns out that time is the closest relative than the bondage of blood.
When he saw the photos that Gyeongta had secretly taken for him and the roses left under the sofa, Ryodo suddenly cried.
Although the two children are trying to integrate into the new environment, they each have the deepest concern in their hearts, which is far more precious than blood.
Not only Ryuharu's questioning, but also Kyanta's tolerance, they all make Ryodo a real father, and they also teach Ryota how to face the past.
On the long cherry blossom trail, the belated father's love finally awakened at this moment. It removes the barrier between father and son, and allows love to continue to be happy and happy in the journey of life where mistakes are wrong.
On the road of life, if you do not escape the mistakes and hurts of the past, you will accept the imperfect self.
Don't run away from the past and accept your imperfect self.
Every time the memory has its own unique smell. The family time experienced together made the two families re-appreciate the meaning of life in the entanglement of blood.
Blood can not directly obtain emotional intimacy, only careful companionship and care, is the deepest nourishment of family affection, in order to have true salvation.
Chen Guo, the goddess of Fudan, once said: "The real feelings in the world are not to turn you into someone I want, but to help you become yourself on the basis of my understanding of you, and then love this real you." ”
The same is true of affection. Because, without the contours of love, a person cannot walk out of the consummation of life.
Thankfully, life is a constant process of error correction. When the power of love is awakened, it can make us find ourselves and become ourselves in the midst of the multiplicity of the world.
In the mistakes of time and again, correct the direction of life and find the strength to move forward.
Ru Father Ru Zi Shu (Jing) is a 66th Cannes Film Award Winning Film by Kore-eda by Hirokazu Kore-eda,000 pedants