Marriages without love are like buildings without foundations, vulnerable; marriages that love wrong, like a dangerous building, crumbling; and marriages that love each other but torment each other, like mirages, only illusory.
There are many reasons for the failure of marriage, but there are no innocent people in feelings, and it is difficult for anyone to be alone.
Overestimating oneself and underestimating marriage
Marriage is a necessary process for most people's lives, so forced by the pressure of marriage, livelihood, and of course, love, some people marry the people they love, some people marry people who love themselves, and some people marry a person who does not love themselves and does not love themselves.
But either way, no one is running "more unfortunate" than their current life. They always believed that they were not so weak and could be "dragged down" by a marriage.
These people underestimate the complexity of marriage and overestimate their own ability to bear it.
The tragedy of marriage is to fall in love with the advantages and live with the shortcomings, most people know this fact, but they all take it for granted that after marrying the person they don't love, they can just treat each other as roommates and do "nothing to do with me".
And some people also overestimate their love, taking it for granted that after marriage, the other party will be reborn for you and for the family.
But it is human nature that is easy to change and difficult to move. People who are too lazy to be good to you before marriage, don't expect to be "born again" after marriage.
It is common for people who take one step at a time to love you, hope that you can be as carefree as a child when chasing you, and hope that you can mature and understand things after getting it, but if at the beginning he does not care about you, and hopes that you can take him as the main thing, then entering marriage with such a person is doomed to have a bad ending.
The meaning of "breakup" and "divorce" is different, it is not wrong to have a rich emotional experience, as long as each paragraph is given with sincerity, this experience may let you know what kind of person you are suitable to live with.
Marriage needs to be "impulsive" but not all "impulsive", otherwise you will be in the second half of your life, endure, life is long; away, the road ahead is slim and the two are entangled, both want to try to save the second half of your life, but also feel that you can't stand this breath, come and go, waste most of your life.
Maturity is nothing but crying without weeping, and there are no tears. Only after being hurt by the people they love will they think of the people who love themselves, and they will understand what true love is, and why love is the basis of marriage.
They don't know how to appreciate each other, they don't know how to respect each other
In married life, it is more common to criticize each other than to appreciate and praise each other, accusations and complaints, everyone stands on their own point of view, to criticize each other, men accuse women of not understanding their own difficulties in making money, women complain that men do not understand the hardships of taking care of their families.
Both sides have their own opinions, living like a debate game, and neither wants to be the losing side.
Therefore, many people say: "When a person reaches a certain age, he must be that roof, and he can no longer find another place to hide from the rain." ”
Come to think of it, it is true that after marriage, for most men, they are surrounded by people who depend on themselves; for most women, they are surrounded by people they cannot rely on.
Over time, the marriage looks like a god, and it exists in name only.
Don't always like to put your desires above others, use home as a trigger to satisfy your own selfish desires, and then say in a grandiose voice, "If it weren't for you", "I am not for this family"...
Everyone gives up something or chooses something, and they ask for something. When we get one thing, we crave something else.
You will find that those men or women who choose to cheat, in the choice of the third party, seem to have a commonality, choose the opposite side of the partner's personality, if the partner is career-oriented, shrewd and capable, then the third party is mostly gentle and virtuous; if the partner is dependent and lacks opinion, then the third party mostly behaves independent and intelligent...
Appreciating and respecting a partner is an ability. The correct way of husband and wife is actually very simple, it is a comrade-in-arms is not an enemy, it is a win-win cooperation, not a lose-lose situation.
A man who is appreciated and respected by his wife is often gentle and elegant, and he is full of spirit, while otherwise he is depressed and negative and pessimistic; a woman who is appreciated and respected by her husband is often reasonable and understanding, and vice versa is sentimental and depressed.
If a man wants to be worthy of the respect of a woman, he will give more love, and if a woman wants to be worthy of the respect of a man, she will give more understanding.
The two complement each other and are indispensable.
Marriage is not afraid of quarrels, it is afraid of boredom
It's been three years since friends and husbands divorced, and together they are raising an eight-year-old child. They used to be the enviable couple in school, but they didn't expect to have such an ending after eight years of marriage.
Four years ago, a new colleague came to her friend's husband's company, and unlike her friend after getting married, pregnant, and having children, she was intellectual, elegant, and encouraged her when her friend's husband was hindered and frustrated in his career.
During that time, the friend's husband always came out early and returned late, and did not even have time to argue with her.
This matter, by chance, was overheard by a friend, but for the sake of her children and her own face, she did not speak out, and chose to forgive, as if she did not see it, and did not pursue it. But what she did not expect was that a year later, her husband forcibly divorced her on the grounds of "I am in love with someone else".
Soon after the separation, the husband re-entered the marriage hall with the pregnant third party, but within a year, the ex-husband could not stand the current wife, who was once a third party, and wanted to beg her to reunite.
For this matter, the friend neither refused nor agreed. In the past few years of divorce, she did not choose to completely break off relations with her ex-husband, because of the children, so the two also got together from time to time.
Her and her ex-husband's behavior of breaking up but being more close to each other than Xiao San made the other party very jealous. In this regard, the friend said sarcastically: Do you know, when there was no divorce, Xiao San was my nightmare, and after the divorce, I became Xiao San's nightmare, and suddenly there was a feeling of revenge.
There are two sides to everything, and there is never easy love and marriage. Some people always think that when they re-meet a confidant who can talk to you during the burnout period of feelings or marriage, they think that it is true love, but that is just the novelty brought by strangeness.
A good marriage relationship is not afraid of noise, nor is it afraid of having nothing to say, but no matter how noisy and noisy, in the end, no one can leave anyone.
It is disgusted on the one hand, and at the same time firmly accompanied by the other party for the rest of his life.
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