Text/End Of Little North
Half a life has passed and finally understand that almost all the troubles in life come from interpersonal relationships.
If you can handle the relationship well, there will be no troubles in general, and if you can't, there will be a lot of troubles.
People get along with each other in a degree, know what kind of people, what kind of words, but also for their own ideals and efforts, do not always think about one day their own soaring, because this is unrealistic.
Getting along with people is, in the final analysis, the process of reinventing oneself.
Without changing some of your words and deeds, it is difficult to get along with others happily, and you will always encounter some unexpected problems.
Living in this world is to pursue happiness and happiness, if there is no happiness and happiness, living in pain all your life, what is the point of living?
People in this life, getting along with people is really a university question.
I hope that when you are with people, you can remember these 5 pieces of advice, and if you do, your heart will not be so troubled.
01: I am not excellent, and it is useless to know people
As the saying goes, things are grouped together in groups.
If you are not good yourself, then don't think about changing your destiny through others.
In other words, if the other person doesn't see your value, they won't walk with you.
In this world, there has never been a free lunch, and there is no unprovoked network, so the real good relationship must be equal, and it must be that others are very good.
If you are not capable, others will not take you to play, if you force it to play, you can only use other ways to make up for it, and it is you who will be hurt in the end.
When I first started doing self-media, I knew a big god, and I was very happy when I added him, and the big god also said that there were problems that could be communicated at any time, and I thought that my life had encountered new opportunities and met nobles.
At that time, I really did not expect that the god could add me, and I did not expect that the other party also said that he could communicate at any time.
Knowing that I had a problem in writing and asking him, I knew that this was just my own wishful thinking, I left him a message, he did not reply, occasionally replied, asked again and did not return, the god said that he was too busy.
At first, I thought he was too busy, but it wasn't, we weren't on the order of magnitude at all, so it was impossible to play together.
This incident made me understand not to force the establishment of networks, it is better to work hard to improve yourself when you have this time, when you are good enough, the so-called connections will naturally creep in.
02: Changing oneself is God, changing others is nerves
In the process of interpersonal communication, there are some people we may not be accustomed to, for such people we always want to change, in fact, this is wrong, you are not the other party naturally do not understand the other party's way of doing things.
You feel like you're right, and others feel like you're right. A truly intelligent person wouldn't demand of someone else by his own standards, because he knows it simply won't work.
When I found that I and my friend were completely two people, my friend Daning decisively chose to stay away, and I asked him why he didn't give advice to the other party, so that maybe the other party would understand what you meant and make a change.
But Daning said:
"I am not qualified to ask others to change, since it is not suitable is not suitable, there is no need to continue to cooperate together, otherwise even friends can't do it." 」
To be honest, I admire Daning, he knows too much about interpersonal relationships.
In this life, there is really no need to always think about changing others, because the final result is likely to be a lose-lose situation, and two people will change from friends to the most familiar strangers.
In this world, there is no eternal right and wrong, all right and wrong are relative, what we have to do is to do ourselves well, and strive to improve ourselves, rather than using our own standards to demand each other.
Simply put, if a person can do it without changing others, then he wins.
03: Don't lend money to acquaintances easily
Whose money is not blown by the wind, some people always want to borrow other people's money, the key is that they borrow money and do not pay it back, in the face of such people, you are best not to borrow, otherwise the pain can only be yourself.
Don't be embarrassed, since he is so willing to borrow money unscrupulously, why should you be embarrassed?
The year before, a friend Wang Yan had a big sister who borrowed her 30,000 yuan, which was supposed to be repaid, but then for various reasons did not pay back, since the other party did not mention, Wang Yan was not embarrassed to mention, just want to wait for a while and talk to her.
Wang Yan has not yet opened his mouth, this big sister actually asked him to borrow 10,000 yuan because of the child's schooling, when Wang Yan did not expect the other party to do this, the borrowed money has not been repaid, and even borrowed.
Although Wang Yan was a little embarrassed at the time, she directly expressed that she would not borrow, and after hearing this result, the eldest sister was particularly angry.
I really don't understand what she has to be angry about.
Some acquaintances are like this, they like to rub hemp rope on other people's legs, they like moral kidnapping, they think they are doing a good job, they don't know that they are doing the worst.
Never lend money easily to others, especially acquaintances.
Otherwise, the last pain can only be yourself, you dig your heart and lungs out to others, and finally your heart is tired to regret the beginning, who can blame you?
04: Hate a person, there is no need to turn the other cheek
In this world, we will meet some people, some people make people happy, some people are annoying. When you hate a person, there is no need to turn the other cheek, as long as the surface is passable.
Instead of having to tear the skin of others and make it unpleasant, it is better to stay away decisively, pretend that nothing has happened, and naturally not be bothered if you don't see your heart.
The moment you tear your face off, it's really refreshing, but what about later?
Everyone looks up and doesn't look down, how embarrassing.
People are inherently different from each other, you just have to do yourself well, according to your own requirements on the line, as for others are suitable, they are not suitable together and stay away.
05: Don't get acquainted with a person too quickly
Any time to know, all things have a law, know a person is also like this, if you know a person do not know too quickly, the other party is what kind of person you do not know, you are what kind of person the other party does not know, too fast to know, will bring a lot of problems.
If you are sincere and consistent with each other's three views, if it is only you who have paid the true heart, and the other party is only false, then the pain can only be yourself.
Even if you regret the pain, it will not help, because it cannot be changed.
Some people say that the relationship of quick success is often like a mirror flower and water moon, easy to disappear, come quickly, go fast, this point I am particularly detailed.
Psychologist Adler said:
"All human troubles come from human relationships."
This is deeply true.
Hopefully, in the days to come, each of us will remember some advice, and only in this way will we make our relationship more harmonious.
About the Author:
Su Xiaobei, a young emotional writer and marriage counselor, focuses on marriage recovery and intimate relationship repair.