Text/Little Flower
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Ouyang Xiu once wrote: "Wine is less than a thousand cups for confidants, and words are not speculative for more than half a sentence." ”
People with sharp hearts can communicate with each other even if the mountains are high and the waters are far away; those who do not agree with the three views will be relatively speechless even if they sit together.
Some people warm up the rest of our lives; some people, in fact, should only be passers-by.
These three kinds of people, I advise you not to wronged yourself, and to stay away as soon as possible.
People who love to complain, cut off friends early
His nephew who is in college is about to graduate, and he is always anxious to complain in the circle of friends:
Complaining that his parents are incompetent, they only know how to tell him to study every day, and they can't pave the way for his future;
Complaining about the heavy academics, the teacher always rolls names, so that he does not have time to enjoy the rest of the university time;
Complaining about the arrogance of the internship company Night Lang, always letting him do miscellaneous things, looking down on him as an inexperienced fresh graduate...
At first, I would persuade him, but he always poured bitter water desperately, and for a long time, I couldn't stand to see those complaining and frustrated words every day, so I could only block his circle of friends.
In life, each has its own practice, no one can have a smooth sailing, and no one's life can be victorious in everything.
Instead of complaining about origin, it is better to study seriously; instead of complaining about others, it is better to enrich yourself.
Learn to attribute inwards to grow outwards.
Once read such a story:
There was a disciple in buddhism who was very fond of complaining, and the Zen master decided to enlighten him.
One day, the Zen master asked his disciple to go to the market to buy salt, and after buying it, the Zen master instructed him to grab a handful of salt and put it in a glass of water, wait for the salt to dissolve and drink it, and taste what it tasted like.
After the disciple finished drinking, he frowned and said, "It is salty and bitter." "
The Zen master took his disciple to the river again, instructed him to pour the remaining salt into the river, let him take a sip of the river water, and asked, "What taste?"
The disciple replied, "Pure and sweet." ”
The Zen master asked again, "Are you still suffering?"
The disciple shook his head, but his eyes stagnated, and if he had realized something, he had never complained since.
The sea is full of rivers, and there is tolerance is great. This sentence not only guides us to "tolerate people", but also to learn to "tolerate things".
If the heart is open, everything is dust; if the heart is narrow, everything is an obstacle.
Truly intelligent people never bury their grievances, because they know that the choice of life is always in their own hands.
People who are mean and mean, stay away early
Yesterday afternoon, my girlfriend posted a selfie in the circle of friends. A college classmate commented: "Did you use a facelift, or did you have a facelift?" "Angry friends directly deleted him."
Later, my friend gave me a screenshot and said that this was not the first time he had spoken out.
Friends send fitness photos, he will yin and yang weirdly said: "The figure of P is good, that is, the door is crooked!" When a friend works overtime late at night to sigh, he will jump out and make fun of it: "Young, how do you ask for money and don't die." ”
The philosopher Plato said, "Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools speak because they want to speak." ”
There are many people in life who always treat scathing and mean as funny and humorous, and treat their mouths as frank and honest, and they do not know that expressing themselves at will is the lowest emotional intelligence behavior of adults.
The New Language of the World records such a story:
When Kong Rong was ten years old, he accompanied his father to Luoyang to visit Li Bing, and Li Bing was the first to be a young talent or a relative to be willing to receive him, so Kong Rong called himself a relative of Li Bing.
After Li Bing received him, he asked, "What kind of relatives are we?"
Kong Rong said, "Once upon a time, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Lao Tzu had a teacher-student friendship, so we are also friends!"
The guests were full of praise, saying that this child will definitely have a career when he grows up. Chen Yun, who was present, did not think so, and sarcastically said: "When I was young, I was smart, but when I grew up, I may not be smart."
Kong Rong was young, but he still unceremoniously shrugged back: "I think you must have been very smart when you were a child!" Chen Yun was suddenly dumbfounded and ashamed.
As the saying goes: "A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." ”
Blindly raising the bar will only attract people's dislike, always speak harshly, and will only consume their own character.
Truly intelligent people know how to "cover their mouths", speak with a ruler, do not add to the blockage of others, and do not let themselves be caught in the dispute of words.
People with two sides and three knives do not have to have deep friendships
In the company, the boss and her child just left on the front foot, and colleague A began to complain: "Don't you think the boss's child is very noisy?" You see he's so young and so fat to eat! Also very wayward, which is spoiled by the boss! ”
Everyone laughed after listening to it, but none of them answered the phone.
After work in the evening, the boss posted a video of the child playing in the circle of friends, and colleague A quickly commented: "The child is really good!" Look at his little face, fleshy, so cute! Boss, you raise the kids so well! ”
Later, when colleague B talked about this matter, he did not forget to tell me: "You see her like that, who said that the boss's children were too noisy and too fat?" In the circle of friends, it becomes good and cute? What hypocrisy! In the future, you should still be careful with her, so that she will not stab you in the back! ”
Getting along with people really needs to look at character.
It's better to be alone than to be alone than to be around people with two sides, and it's better to be alone than to be socially disingenuous.
I have seen such a story:
The magpie boasted everywhere: "I am a straight man, love to tell the truth, and have never been afraid of offending people." ”
Therefore, he denounced the pig as a "lazy guy who eats and doesn't do anything", mocked the dog as "something with its tail rolled up in the sky", and when he saw the donkey, he joked: "Stupid, push and grind to blindfold." ”
Once, the chief of the crow inspected the forest, and the magpie flew to the crow and chattered and complimented: "Your Honor, your feathers are so beautiful, you are the most beautiful bird in the world; your song is so good, you are the best singer in the bird kingdom." ”
After the crow left, everyone gathered around and asked the magpie, why don't you tell the truth, not afraid of offending people?
People who are inconsistent in words and deeds will only lose the good feelings of others; people with two sides and three knives will only overdraw their own character.
Touching people with sincerity and not hypocrisy, truly intelligent people, never vain and snake, because they know that in this world, the best routine is sincerity.
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"Xunzi" has clouds: "Flying with the phoenix, it will be a handsome bird; walking with the tiger and wolf, it will be a beast." ”
Things are clustered in groups, and people are grouped. What kind of person you are close to, what kind of path you will take.
The Qing Dynasty scholar Cao Xueqin said: "Gold is easy to get, and it is difficult to find a confidant." ”
In life, friends are not expensive, expensive is fine, and expensive is in the heart.
Making friends with elegant people and staying away from those who consume themselves is the wisest choice for adults.
The red dust is rolling, the rest of your life is long, may you and I be able to relax our minds, cultivate our hearts and mouths, and go to the places we go to, all are hot land; the people we meet are all good friends.