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Hugo's Les Misérables: "Don't make mistakes, that's the dream of an angel." Making as few mistakes as possible is the norm of man. ”
Everyone makes mistakes, it's inevitable. However, this cannot be an excuse for constantly making mistakes.
Inadvertently making a mistake, or a mistake that was not intentionally committed, is worthy of forgiveness, and as long as it does not cause too serious consequences, there is no need to hold on to it; but if it is a deliberate mistake and causes very serious consequences, it is not worth forgivable.
There's a problem: normal people sometimes get mixed up with people who make deliberate mistakes, such as coming together because they work for a company, or because they came together because of a marriage, in which case normal people are particularly vulnerable to losses.
It is easy to deal with a rotten person at work, and he does not go to you; but it is often painful to meet a rotten person in marriage, because once divorced, you will face property and honor and so on.
The following mother-in-law said that the marriage problem of the son and daughter-in-law is the same kind of problem above, let's take a look at what is going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin,
My son is finally divorced and I am both happy and sad.
I am happy because my son is still the good son of filial piety, and he has not married his daughter-in-law and forgotten his mother, nor has he been taken by his bad wife.
Sadly, his marriage began because I blindly urged marriage, and it was my fault to pursue it. If I hadn't been in such a hurry to get married, maybe I wouldn't have had such a sad result.
At that time, I didn't think about it so much, but I just thought that my son was not young, it was time to get married, and if it dragged on any longer, it might not be easy to marry a daughter-in-law.
You also know that once people are in a hurry to do something, they are prone to "informality" and want to have a result as soon as possible.
I was in such a state at that time, anxious to entrust someone to arrange a blind date for my son, and after the blind date, I was anxious to urge my son to get married, and did not give him the opportunity to understand the woman.
I thought that my son would be all right when he got married, and I had no regrets. But that was only the beginning of the nightmare.
Because the house was bought in a hurry, he did not pay the house for the time being, so after his son got married, he still lived with me and lived in our original house.
In order to make my daughter-in-law's life comfortable, in order to have a good relationship with her, and in order to make my son's married life run smoothly, I voluntarily retired to the position of nanny, making them a meal every day before they got up, and when they were busy at work, I stayed at home to do housework, washed and cooked for them.
Am I wrong with being so diligent and hardworking? I don't think anyone who is a normal person, but anyone who has a little conscience, will not think that I am wrong. Unfortunately, my daughter-in-law is not normal and has no conscience.
She always picked and chose the food I cooked, and kindly washed her happiness, but she complained, either that I didn't wash it, or that I washed her clothes and then let me lose money.
My son wanted to calm the incident, paid her money on my behalf, bought her new clothes on my behalf, but she said it didn't count: "My mother-in-law broke my clothes, she must lose money, she must buy me clothes, you don't count your money!" ”
There are so many similar questions, I don't understand, why do they have to? Even if you have an opinion on me, wouldn't it be better to endure until the new house comes down? When everyone is not living together, there will not be so many things?
My son told her this truth, and instead of listening, she gave the order: "Let your mother get out of the house, I hate living with my mother-in-law!" ”
My son was a filial child, and of course he would not allow her to say such things in front of me, so he said, "It is you who should roll!" This is my mother's home, where do you let her go? You also have parents, how would you feel if someone asked you to kick your parents out? I said go out and rent a house, you are not happy, you have to live at home. And you can't live at home and keep to yourself, what do you really want? ”
Then she was about to get a divorce, and insisted that it was because "my son and I bullied her" that she wanted to divorce, leaving her own faults behind, and telling people how much she had been wronged.
My son couldn't stand her keep discrediting us and divorced her. Although we have lost a lot of things, my son said that he can only operate like this: "If you don't divorce, it seems that there is no loss, but in fact, the loss is more serious, and we will not be able to live in peace." 」 ”
He always comforted me and told me not to think too much about it, saying that everything would be fine. But I don't know, the more he treats me, the more I feel ashamed of him. We were devastated by a marriage and didn't know if we would get better in the future. I can not care so much when I am older, but what about my son? I fear that his heart will leave a shadow.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Parents blindly urge marriage, and it is easiest to eat their own consequences.
Whether it is blindly urging the daughter to marry early, or blindly urging the son to marry his wife early, if you are too anxious, if you only care about the dust settled, it is easy to ignore many ready-made problems. And these neglected problems will become contradictions in the days to come.
We can not say that such parents are not well-intentioned, but such good intentions often do bad things.
Because you blindly urge marriage and let your daughter marry the wrong person, and your daughter is miserable after marriage, will you not be distressed? Is it hard to blame my daughter for not understanding things? You will definitely think of your own blind marriage state, and your life will rise and fall with your daughter's sorrows and joys.
Because you blindly urge marriage and let your son marry a bad wife, the son is in pain after marriage, and you also suffer, will you be willing to accept this ending? Do you regret that you should not have blindly urged marriage in the first place?
Isn't that the case with the mother-in-law above? Originally, it was kind to want his son to marry his wife early, but he arranged a wrong marriage, not only was it difficult for his son to be stuck in the middle, but he also suffered losses, and no one would be willing to admit his fate in this situation.
I hope that other parents will take this as a warning and not ruin the happiness of their children and themselves because of blind marriage. I also hope that other children can have their own opinions, pursue the principle of "preferring lack rather than abuse", and can accept parents to urge marriage, but they cannot be too anxious, and the preparation that should be done before marriage cannot be less, otherwise it is easy to cause tragedy.