Epidemic Topic: How to deal with children's boredom and refusal to learn during the epidemic online class?

Hello everyone, I'm Shen Jiahong.

Today, I would like to share with you our public welfare course on psychological management of the epidemic, with the theme of:

During the epidemic online lessons, how to deal with children's boredom and refusal to learn?

During the epidemic, children's schooling usually becomes online classes, and schools will require parents to supervise their children's online classes.

In this way, two problems arise:

The role of parents will change to the role of teachers.

When children are not able to accept this role, parents have no way to get their own parental role back.

Then for children, they may not find the feeling of "parent" in their own parents.

It turns out that in some families, parents do not approve of children's Internet access, and will strictly manage children's Internet access, and now children can justifiably go online and play games through online classes.

This will make some children who are not addicted to games also become addicted to games, which will make some parents very entangled.

So, how to manage children's learning during online classes, so that parents can retain the role of parents in their children, and can they do a good job of the role of teachers?

Or, even if the child uses the Internet to attend classes, the child will not use the time of the online class to secretly play games, thus developing an Internet addiction?

We see that children's online classes at home have evolved into children borrowing online classes to play games, and developing into Internet addiction, there will be more or less factors in the family system.

If the relationship between parents and children is not a problem, then usually the child's online learning will not be too much of a problem.

Therefore, we see that managing the parent-child relationship well is the key to ensuring that children can complete online classes well.

So, let's take a look at the families who have problems with online learning, what is the problem?

What we need to understand is that online class learning is a matter for children, and since it is a child's business, then children need to take responsibility for online classes.

If parents can turn online learning into a child's business, if parents can also make children take responsibility for online class learning, then children can have the possibility to take their own online classes.

We see that children who have problems with online learning usually do not have the opportunity to do this.

Their online learning usually becomes a matter for their parents, and in the same way, parents also have to bear the responsibility for their children's online classes.

Some parents have turned the things that belong to their children into things that belong to their parents themselves.

They contracted everything for online classes, including supervising punctual classes, punching cards, listening carefully to classes, completing homework, etc., all of which were arranged by their parents.

In this way, the child will regard the online class learning as the task of completing the parents, and the parents will turn the child's online class into the task assigned to them by the teacher.

As a result, online classes have become for parents and teachers.

In this way, it is not difficult for us to understand why children are passively slacking off during online classes and why they will take advantage of online classes to go online.

Because online classes are not for themselves, but for their parents and for their teachers. As a result, they can not be held responsible for online lessons.

So, what do parents need to do to turn their children's online classes into children's affairs, so that children can take responsibility for online classes?

In psychological counseling, we found that children who cannot complete online classes well usually do not have the right to choose and decide on their own affairs in the family.

Most of these affairs are taken over by the parents and become the affairs of the parents.

For example, they are not responsible for their own room hygiene in the family, do not need to be responsible for their own diet and eating, do not need to be responsible for their own clothes washing, do not need to be responsible for their own sleep and wake up.

In short, they never bear their own responsibilities in the family, and these responsibilities are all borne and responsible by their parents.

In the family, the child only needs to complete the task of learning according to the requirements of the parents, and everything else is completed for the child.

Over time, children learn to no longer take responsibility for their own affairs, learn not to take responsibility for all affairs, and the same is true for online classes.

They were forced to take online classes that their parents and teachers asked him to take, and if they could escape, they could hide, what punch cards, what homework, they didn't care.

As long as there is a chance, as long as there is no parental monitoring, they will use the opportunity of online classes to secretly play their favorite games.

So, some parents can't help but ask, if their children already have online classes, then what should they do?

As we can see from the front, the main reason why children have problems with online classes is that the children's sense of responsibility is the problem.

If children can take responsibility for their online lessons, then there will not be much problem with their online lessons.

Therefore, in order to solve the problem of children's online classes, it is necessary to solve the problem of children's sense of responsibility.

So, as a parent, how to cultivate the child's sense of responsibility?

First of all, parents should distinguish which things belong to the child and which things belong to the parents themselves.

For matters that belong to children, parents should not interfere, leave them to the children to manage themselves, and give the children the opportunity and right to manage their own affairs and assume responsibility for their own affairs;

For matters that belong to parents, as parents, you need to take responsibility for yourself, do not involve your children, and do not let your children bear them.

So, what are the parents' business and what are the children's affairs?

Things like the parents' relationship between husband and wife, the relationship between parents, the way of parenting, work and study, relationship and entertainment, body and health, progress and growth, etc. are all things that belong to the parents themselves.

Parents need to take responsibility for these matters.

Things like children's diet, sleep, personal hygiene, their own room hygiene, their own clothes washing, schooling and study are all children's own affairs.

Parents need to help their children take responsibility for their own affairs.

For parents, parents should not involve their children in their own affairs or let their children take responsibility.

For example, parents do not complain and complain in front of their children, do not evaluate their other parents from the child, and do not let the children judge or administer justice for themselves, nor let the children rule on their divorce.

This is tantamount to involving the child in his own affairs and taking responsibility for his own affairs.

Parents need to remember that once a child is involved in the affairs of the parents, especially the relationship between husband and wife, then he will bear the responsibility of the parents' life, and it will be difficult for him to have the opportunity to bear his own life responsibilities.

How can parents help their children to take on their own life affairs and responsibilities?

For example, eating is a matter for children, then it is necessary to leave this to the child to deal with, such as what he wants to eat, when to eat, how many meals a day, it is best for the child to decide.

This allows them to have the opportunity to take responsibility for their meals.

Most of the families that have conflicts with their children over eating are parents who do not give their children the opportunity to make decisions in the above-mentioned aspects of eating.

In this way, the child is no longer responsible for his meals.

I have turned what used to be my own into a matter for my parents, and I have eaten for myself, and now I have eaten for my parents.

Therefore, when it comes to eating, the more his parents want him to eat, the more he refuses to eat, and the more he prevents him from eating, the more he wants to eat secretly.

This part is very similar to the child's learning, because the child's learning is also a child's business.

Like sleeping, things that also belong to children need to be managed by the child himself, when he sleeps, let him decide for himself, the premise is not to affect the rest of other family members.

For getting up the next day, it is also his own business, he can use his mobile phone to set the bell, or use the clock to set the alarm clock, set his own time to get up, and learn to manage his own getting up.

On a realistic level, what we often see is that whether it is going to bed at night or getting up the next morning, it is arranged by parents.

Going to bed at night requires parental urging, and getting up in the morning also requires multiple reminders.

Some families often stage a battle to go to bed at night and get up in the morning, and the parent-child relationship is seriously damaged.

Of course, the hygiene of the child's room also belongs to the child's own affairs, and it also needs to be handed over to the child to deal with, and the parents should not clean his room for him, but should be handed over to him to clean.

The same is true of his own clothes, and he also has to take responsibility for washing his own clothes.

Parents can not help him wash, as long as the child is in elementary school, he will take on the responsibility of washing his own clothes. At the very least, he was responsible for washing his socks and underwear.

Even if you wash his clothes for him, don't collect and stack for him, let him collect and fold them yourself.

Of course, learning is also a matter for the child himself, and it must be left to the child to bear and deal with.

When he gets up, when he leaves home to go to school, how to go to class at school, how to complete classwork, how to complete homework when he comes home, these are all things that belong to the child and will be handled by the child.

We will see that some children have difficulty in completing and taking responsibility for their own affairs.

Because the affairs that belong to them are borne by their parents for them, they have no chance to take responsibility for their own affairs.

Some parents say that it is not that we want to do this for them, but because they are not willing to take on their own affairs, and we are forced to take on those matters that belong to them for them.

What we see, however, is that this problem goes into an endless loop:

The child is not willing to do it, the parents come to do it for the child, then the child does not take responsibility for his own affairs, so he comes to bear it, and the child is less and less responsible.

The solution is that from now on, parents should find ways to help their children take responsibility for their own affairs.

When children can take responsibility for their own affairs, they have the ability to take responsibility for their own learning, including online lessons.

When they are able to take responsibility for their online classes, boredom and refusal to learn will be far away from the child.

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