After 6 years as a mother, I found out that the best way to prosper her family is to prosper herself: two words!

Beautiful mom is very handsome

2024-06-20 13:07Posted in Guangdong parenting field creators

In the past few days, I have flipped through the book "Finding Myself Again after Being a Mother". In the cover, a pair of small hands tightly hold a pink mother, warm and healing.

Indeed, in the process of raising children, there are many warm and happy moments, but at the same time, there are also many indescribable anxiety, exhaustion, and confusion.

Some people say that human life is like a tree, the more you crave the sunshine in the higher places, the more you have to absorb nutrients in the lower places.

But over the years of being a mother, I gradually forgot about myself, had no boundaries, no time for myself, buried myself in daily chores all day long, and became more and more emotional. Like a tree that has lost its full vitality, its branches and leaves are slowly withering.

In the past six months, there has been a voice telling that we can't continue like this, and it's time to make some changes.

So I tried to break free and find my life force. In this book, I see my own shadow, there is a strong resonance, and more importantly, the book is full of a kind of wisdom that is worth learning from all mothers:

1. Value yourself

Since the birth of the little one, I have completely limited myself to the role of a mother, I have to be responsible for his emotions, reading all kinds of parenting books, being a parenting blogger is also trying to be a "good mother" in the eyes of children and others, and what is even more ridiculous is that I am still delusional to solve all problems.

Looking at the few strands of gray hair growing on my temples, I often ask myself, for what?

It wasn't until a sentence in the book that I was completely awakened: "You don't need to rest because your child is tired, but because you yourself need to rest." "

In order to better take care of and accompany our children, we gave up our hobbies and gave up self-exploration and pursuit.

We always remember our responsibilities, but we forget that we need to rest, and we completely ignore the needs of our hearts.

But human nature cannot stand the test, and the more you work tirelessly, the more others take it for granted. If you want to be recognized and respected by others, you must first become the protagonist of your own life, starting from cherishing yourself.

In order not to live so hard and get along with my children in a more comfortable manner, I have set aside space for myself to rest, such as doing yoga 3 times a week, and when I am in a low mood, I dress up well, absorb more "nutrients" in nature, and let my husband share some housework.

2. Protect yourself

My teammates said I was very emotional, but I was aware of that. Before reading this book, I was often confused about some of my emotional experiences and behaviors.

For example, when I was writing in my room, my child suddenly came in and asked me to play with him, and I planned to play with him for 10 minutes out of guilt, but when I finished playing, my child still stuck to me regardless of my feelings, and I yelled at him loudly.

Sometimes just because it's clingy, and I think it's too much, I verbally attack him, and even throw things.

After reading this book, I realized that it was the result of the child violating my boundaries.

As a highly sensitive person (HSC), I am very sensitive in the face of excessive stimulation, and my child's crying and clingy behavior stimulates my defense system, which leads to emotional loss and becomes a moody person in the eyes of others. But after that, I felt guilty again: I vowed to be a good mother......

To be honest, it took me a long time to digest the dark side of myself.

In order to protect and expand my boundaries, I tried to make some changes according to the methods in the book, such as checking the sources of stress in my life, improving my self-efficacy, reading good books to broaden my horizons, collecting the little things in life, and not wanting to cook and allowing myself and my children to eat takeout occasionally.

3. Read yourself

Since I was a child, I have found that I am a little different from others, I get tired easily, and sometimes I feel tired even when I don't do anything. Even when a person is alone, the mind is constantly thinking about things.

Later, I learned that I was an HSC, because the nervous system is more sensitive, and information from the outside world will be input into the brain without filtering, plus I am the kind of person who "can't stop", sensory overload and overstimulation constantly consume my energy, so that I often feel exhausted.

After becoming a mother, this feeling is even stronger, and sometimes the mere presence of the child makes me feel tired, let alone take care of the child's eating, drinking, and Lazar.

After reading "Rediscovering Myself After Being a Mother", I realized that it was because I had too many things in my heart that made me physically and mentally exhausted.

How to say, after reading this book, I feel like I am reading myself, but at the same time, I have gained a lot of new knowledge.

Nowadays, the books on the market teach you how to be a good mother, how to cultivate excellent children, and the people around you also tell you that being a mother is to endure and sacrifice, but few people stand with mothers as firmly as the author and recognize their feelings.

The author did not preach, she was like a confidant big sister, using a chatting tone to help us analyze ourselves, understand ourselves, and use psychology to interpret the familiar but never seen through ourselves.

This book is really useful for mothers who are prone to internal friction, from inner analysis, self-awareness to emotional counseling, they can find resonance and find balance.

Some people say that a woman's cultivation and quality will affect the feng shui of a family.

Some people also think that talking too much about themselves after becoming a mother is a manifestation of selfishness.

In my opinion, the best way to prosper your family is: yourself.

Only when you have yourself in your heart can you love yourself and be yourself; Only by reading oneself can we get along with ourselves better, concentrate on inward exploration, and obtain powerful energy to nourish oneself.

When your core is stable and grows into a towering tree, you can become a very secure existence in the family and better shelter your children.

So, don't be illuminated after being a mother, don't live for a glimmer of light, you should let yourself be a light! When you become the light, you can illuminate others, and children will naturally follow the light!

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