"I'm not happy, Mom."
At a parent-child communication seminar, a mother shared that once after she and her husband quarreled, the child ran to comfort her, and she did not hold back her emotions and said this to the child.
After hearing this, the child said to her very seriously: "Mom, you are not happy, and I am not happy." ”
After listening to the mother's sharing, many parents present were silent.
We are often taught to be "strong" and not to bring our emotions to our children, but is that really the case? Do parents really need to hide all their emotions?
In fact, sharing emotions with children is not so scary.
On the contrary, it not only makes children feel trusted and respected, but also helps develop their empathy and emotional expression skills.
Of course, the premise is that parents learn how to express and deal with their emotions correctly.
01
Parents' emotions are the mirror of their children
Parents are their children's first teachers and their most important emotional mentors.
As children grow up, they learn to recognize, express and manage their emotions by observing how their parents deal with them.
If parents always hide their emotions, children may mistakenly believe that emotions are unacceptable, or that only happiness is an emotion worth expressing.
Not only can this limit their emotional development, but it can also leave them feeling confused and helpless in the face of negative emotions.
And when parents share emotions with their children, children learn not only how to recognize and express emotions, but also how to understand and accept the emotions of others.
This kind of emotional education and empathy cultivation are essential for children's social adaptability and interpersonal relationships.
Parents don't need to deliberately hide their emotions and don't need to be overprotective of their children from negative emotions.
Instead, parents should take advantage of this opportunity to teach their children how to cope with and understand different emotional states.
For example, when parents are frustrated or angry, they can tell their children why they are feeling the way they are and how they plan to cope with them.
Such demonstrations not only help children understand the complexity of emotions, but also teach them how to deal with emotions in a positive way.
Parents should also encourage their children to express their emotions, whether happy or sad.
Parents can ask their children, "Why do you feel happy/sad?" "What do you want to do to feel better?" Such questions can not only help children better understand their emotions, but also promote the development of their emotional expression and self-regulation skills.
02
Scientific strategies for sharing emotions with your child
Of course, sharing emotions with children also requires certain skills and methods.
Here are some scientific recommendations:
1) Keep it real but not too detailed
When sharing emotions with children, parents should try to be honest and honest, but also take into account the child's understanding and psychological tolerance.
Parents can describe their emotions in simple language, but avoid overly detailed or complex explanations.
For example, if a parent is feeling irritated because of work pressure, tell the child, "Mom/Dad is busy at work today, so I'm a little tired and irritable. Rather than depicting in depth specific issues or conflicts at work.
2) Provide appropriate emotional support
When parents share emotions with their children, it is important not only to express their emotions but also to provide appropriate emotional support and comfort.
This can be done through physical contact (such as hugging or touching), verbal reassurance (such as "It's okay, we'll get through this together"), or participating in some kind of activity together.
This kind of emotional support not only relieves the emotional stress of parents, but also allows children to feel the warmth and security of the family.
3) Guide children to understand emotions correctly
When parents share emotions with their children, they should pay attention to guiding their children to understand and view emotions correctly.
Parents can tell their children that it is completely normal for everyone to have a wide range of emotions; And emotions can be managed and adjusted in the right way.
This kind of guidance can help children establish correct cognition and attitudes towards emotions, and reduce their fears and misunderstandings about emotions.
4) Pay attention to the timing and occasion
While it's important to share emotions with your child, it's also important to be mindful of the timing and occasion you choose.
In general, it is more appropriate to share emotions when the child is in a calm mood and the environment is safe.
Avoid sharing overly complex emotional messages when your child is emotional or nervous.
Also avoid sharing sensitive emotional topics with your child in public or in settings that are not appropriate for discussing personal issues.
5) Seek professional help
If parents find themselves unable to deal with their emotions effectively or communicate their emotional problems effectively with their children, they can seek help from professional counselling or family therapists.
They can provide parents with more specific and personalized advice and guidance to help parents better share emotions with their children and promote emotional communication and understanding between family members.
Sharing emotions with children is not a burden or a taboo, but a valuable educational opportunity and a way to communicate with parents.
With the right ways and methods, parents can build a closer emotional connection with their children and promote their children's emotional development and mental health.
