In the depths of memory, the happiness of childhood is always inextricably linked to "running crazy" in the yard. Friends in twos and threes, chasing butterflies, climbing trees and picking fruits, jumping rubber bands...... The eyes are full of vividness and fulfillment. Nowadays, there is no playmate to play with and no time to play, so many children are "socially lacking". Many parents interviewed are worried that without communication between peers, their children's hearts will become more and more self-contained.
The childhood beauty of "childhood sweethearts" is becoming a vanishing memory. Experts suggest that it is particularly important for children to move away from the teacher-led form of socialization and participate in community socialization autonomously, which requires support from all sides.
1 Children are "afraid to socialize" and "have no time to socialize"?
After dinner, Ms. Zhang, a citizen, used to take her daughter to the courtyard of the community and the surrounding small park for a walk, hoping to meet children of the same age to play with her daughter. But the "strange" thing is that there are very few opportunities to meet children of the same age, only a few occasionally. "When I was a child, I looked forward to playing outside after dinner, and now it's not easy to find a playmate for my children." Ms. Zhang said.
Ms. Zhang's feelings are not unique.
Ms. Xu from Dashaping thinks that the children are getting busier and busier now, and when they go to kindergarten, they often go to the small park to play with the neighbors' children, and now they are in elementary school, and the children go to interest classes every day in addition to school, and occasionally they take the rest to play with their parents, and few children take the initiative to ask friends to play. Ms. Zhang said that the child's grades are good, and he plays the piano well, but he doesn't dare to "break through", and he needs the help of parents to communicate and deal with everything. Once I went to the playground, some projects require at least 3 children to play, and other children will take the initiative to ask other children if they want to play together, but her baby is sitting on the bench and waiting, not daring to come forward.
"I lived in the countryside until I was 10 years old, and I had the same surname in a village, so I could say that I was a big family. There are many brothers and sisters of the same age, and every day after school, they play in the village, and their parents never go home if they don't shout. Later, I went to school in the city, and every day after school, I played in the alley with my friends. Hou Yu, who lives in Yantan, is a post-75 generation, and the second treasure in the family is 7 years old this year and is in the first grade. When it comes to the topic of children's playmates, she is deeply touched, "From the eldest daughter to the youngest son, the playmates gradually 'disappear' after school. Hou Yu said helplessly, the community where he lives is relatively small, and the neighbors are also more familiar, and the youngest son has a lot of time to play in the community every day regardless of spring, summer, autumn and winter before he goes to primary school, and there are five or six fixed playmates. Speaking of the happy time of his son and playmates, Hou Yu is very happy, "After going to kindergarten, we also play together every day until we have to go to bed before going home. But after going to school, the children go to different schools and different classes, and there are after-school delays during the week, and it is almost 6 o'clock when they take them home every day, and sometimes they go downstairs to play for a while after dinner, and they have to play Go, write homework, read, and listen to English...... Once this series is complete, it's time to sleep. Hou Yu said that the children's social interaction is very fixed now, and their playmates are a few friends in the same community, but it is all up to luck to make an appointment on weekends. As for classmates at school, there are not many private contacts with better relationships. Now she is thinking about making arrangements to ensure that the children have time to go out and play with the children every day.
2 "Electronic nanny" becomes a child's biggest "playmate"
In addition, with the popularization of mobile phones and tablets and the development of software for young people, electronic products have become children's "electronic nannies", participating in all aspects of children's growth and shaping their entertainment and social life.
"Listen to nursery rhymes, read Chinese characters, watch cartoons, learn English...... There are seven or eight apps for children to learn and play on tablets and mobile phones. Ms. Zhao's son, Chenchen, is in the second grade of primary school, and since kindergarten, his mobile phone and tablet at home have been "occupied" by various learning and entertainment apps. "On the one hand, we are usually busy with work, and when we can't take care of accompanying our children, we let him watch cartoons on the tablet alone; On the other hand, many learning tasks and courses have now been 'moved' online, and online punching and submitting homework online...... None of them can be separated from mobile phones, and learning and games are all on mobile phones. It can be said that mobile phones have become the most 'playmates' that accompany children's lives. What worries Ms. Zhao is that after getting along with this "playmate" for a long time, the child's eyesight has not only deteriorated year by year, but also put on "small glasses" in the second grade, and his personality has also become "homely". "The child doesn't like to go out as soon as he plays with his mobile phone, and sometimes we want to take him out to play on the weekends and meet new children, but he is a hundred reluctant, so he follows out." Ms. Zhao said helplessly.
Another mother, Ms. Liu, is also worried about her child's dependence on mobile phones, "My son is in the fourth grade this year, and every time he plays with his classmates during the winter and summer vacations, the children still hold their mobile phones or tablets when they get together, and they either play games together or play their own games, and they don't even say a word to each other." Ms. Liu said.
3 Have a second child and have a pet Parents try to make their children not lonely
"Sometimes it's not good to watch a child play at home alone." Hou Yu blamed herself for the child's frequent lack of playmates, "On weekends, the child excitedly went out to play with friends, but after a while, he went home disappointed, saying that everyone went to class." At this time, the parents are really uncomfortable. Hou Yu said that in order to let her children have playmates, she has been helping them establish social interactions, "In order to find playmates for children, I often take the initiative to approach other parents." Especially on weekends, she also encourages her children to go out and play, or asks them to come to the house to play.
Ms. An is a stay-at-home mother, her husband is a secondary school teacher, and her son is in the fifth grade of primary school. After their son's vacation, Ms. An and her husband have enough time to spend with their son, and they usually take him back to his hometown for a vacation. "There are many children in my hometown, and everyone is looking forward to going back to play together during the holidays."
The eldest is just three years old, Ms. Du and her lover Mr. Zhou feel that the best gift for their children is to have a brother or sister, otherwise the children will be too lonely. Ms. Lin, the mother of her second child, who has the same idea, said: "I feel very happy to have an older sister myself, we played together when we were young, and we often went shopping together when we grew up!" ”
However, after all, the cost of raising a second child is "doubled", and some parents retreat to the next best thing, so that their children can have a companionship and learn to take care of the lives and emotions of "others" by raising pets. "My kitten was bought by chance in the vegetable market with my child, and since I raised it, I think the child has grown up, and there is a sense of substitution for the role of 'sister', and I am a lot more sensible." Ms. Chen, a citizen, said. In her experience, children have limited ability to express their emotions, and small animals can sometimes act as "listeners", and when children share their grievances or ideas with their "friends", the pressure will also be released. Moreover, the cute appearance and fluffy touch of small animals can also give children psychological comfort.
4 It is especially important to develop social skills, and autonomous community socialization
Respondents all expressed concern that children now have less and less time to play freely after school, lack of communication between their peers, and become more and more self-conscious. In this regard, Zhang Li, a national second-level psychological counselor and head of the Gansu 12355 Youth Service Desk, said that campus education teaches more cognitive ability, and the cultivation of emotional ability and social ability to adapt to the future society, that is, non-cognitive ability, is often neglected, and the most effective way to cultivate this ability is to interact with peers. Away from teacher- and parent-led socialization, independent community socialization is an important way to exercise children's non-cognitive abilities. Around the age of 10 is the age group with the most social needs, and gaining the approval of their peers is the key to their success in this formative year. Parents should create more independent community social opportunities for their children, and pull their children back to the real social life from too many training classes and the virtual world of electronic products.
"It takes a village to raise a child." Teacher Zhang suggested that improving children's community socialization requires the support of the whole society. On the one hand, it is necessary to optimize community services for children and create more platforms and activities for children in the community to participate in. On the other hand, it is necessary to improve the public service system for children, optimize the comprehensive play environment for children, fully consider the needs of children of each age in the construction and renovation of communities, build play spaces suitable for children and adolescents of different ages, and cultivate children's social skills. (Reporter Zhang Dan, Ren Zexin, Zhou Jingbo)
(Source: Lanzhou Evening News)
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