What do you do when you hear the torture of your other half?
The first soul torture If I had no money, would you continue to love me? The question for a woman is, if I don't look so beautiful, if I don't have such a good figure, will you continue to love me?
The second soul torture Did you agree to my pursuit because I had money? The question of changing to a woman is, so many girls only chase me, is it because I am beautiful?
The third soul torture If one day I am sick, disabled, poor, and ugly, will you still stay with me? This is a question for both men and women.
When encountering this kind of soul torture, you must first clarify 2 points. The person who asks the question is extremely sensitive and unconfident, or the change of circumstances has made him insecure, and there is something missing in his heart, and you have to be sensitive to this in order to resolve the crisis.
Point 2 Love is the process of pursuing beauty, and from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, a woman's appropriate pursuit of a privileged living environment is due to her instinctive desire to raise children. A man pursues a more fertile woman because he has a desire to pass on offspring in his bones. This is a predisposition in the genes.
In the modern age of material abundance, this tendency has not disappeared. For example, we will see that many boys scold beautiful girls for worshipping money, but these boys don't look down on ordinary, average-looking girls, they still like women with strong fertility and more sexual attraction in their bones. In fact, what they scolded was not for girls to worship money, but for why beautiful girls don't like themselves?
In the same way, girls are the same, and they still tend to be people who can provide them with a good living environment.
Both men and women want to be better off, and men want a sexually attractive woman who looks good. Women want a man who provides them with a stable environment to have children. It's instinctually driven.
As long as this tendency is not easy to turn into "excessive pursuit", it can actually be understood by the public. For example, parents will openly say that I want to find a better family for my daughter, and I am afraid that my daughter will suffer. Parents will also say that in the future, they will marry a dignified, good-looking and knowledgeable daughter-in-law, so that they can give birth to excellent grandchildren.
Whether you agree with these words or not, but when the old man says these words openly, it means that everyone subconsciously recognizes that the two sexes have different tendencies to find a partner.
So it's normal for a guy to like your beauty and gentle character, and it's normal for you to pick a guy with a good character, a good personality for you, and a good family background among many suitors.
As long as everyone can make friends reasonably on the basis of self-awareness, it's fine. Let's not deny this basis of reality, shall we?
When you understand this matter, you will find that these soul torture questions of boys are not difficult to answer at all. You are the best one among the people chasing me, but after being with you, I really love you, and the two do not conflict.
So the real answer that a guy wants to hear is not that you completely deny this basis of reality, but that you have to give him confidence. That's what he wants right now. If your boyfriend also often "soul tortures" you. The most important thing you should pay attention to is his uneasy psychological condition.
For example, a guy asks: Do you love me or my money?
You can say to a guy, "If I say I don't care about material conditions at all, it's a lie." Girls just want to marry a good family and give their children a stable and safe living environment. That's one of my criteria for choosing a mate. I will not deny this premise. But I know very well that it is not easy for you to make money, behind the good living conditions you give me is your hard work day and night, during the time we have been together, I have witnessed the night when you discussed problems with customers and were rejected proposals, and also witnessed the moments when you were backstabbed by your friends...... These are the hard work behind your success, and I can see it. It also makes me respect you from the bottom of my heart, identify with you, and even worship you. So when I heard you ask me this question, I was a little sad because I didn't know what was going on in your mind? I'm afraid you'll doubt my motives for loving you. Girls just tend to think wildly, and I can't help it. ”
At this time, the boy will definitely coax you in turn, because he already feels your love.