#头条创作挑战赛#想想看, if a man betrays his marriage, but he doesn't want to divorce, he even tells you that he is true love with the person outside, which makes you half angry.
What is this kind of man thinking?
If you've taken our "Deciphering the Male Psyche" course, you might as well stop and think, what exactly does this man think? You can write your thoughts in the comment area.
In fact, men's psychology is not as simple as you think. He cheated, but he didn't want a divorce, on the surface, he seemed to want to "step on two boats", both at home and abroad, like an emperor, wanting to hug left and right. But is that really all there really be?
I'm afraid it's not that simple.
If a man not only does not admit his mistake after cheating, but also tells you confidently that he is in true love with someone outside, and he does not want to divorce you.
What does this mean that he is doing, what? It's the "compliance test". He's testing your bottom line to see if you'll tolerate his behavior.
Why would he say such a thing? In fact, it is to test your attitude to see if you will compromise for the sake of him. So, the girls should be careful not to fall into the pit he dug.
Let me give you an example. For example, although you swear at this man and say that he is useless, you do not actually take any substantive action.
In this case, the man may feel that you are acquiescing to his actions.
Doesn't it feel a bit shameless? But it can't be helped, this is a man's way of thinking, he will feel that you have actually acquiesced to his betrayal.
But if you don't say anything after he says something like that, and just give him a couple of big mouths, then he will immediately understand that this will not work.
Just like when we were children, if we did something wrong and confidently said to our parents, "I won't change", what do you think our parents would do? Some parents may directly slap you in the face and make you change if you don't change.
Some parents may just say a few words to you. But do you think about it, will the outcome be the same in both cases?
There is also a situation where you start crying as soon as your parents hit you, and then observe your parents' attitude. If your parents see you crying and say, "Don't cry, Mom and Dad don't blame you", then you will cry to solve the problem in the future.
But if you still get beaten after crying, will you still cry easily in the future? Because you know it's useless to cry.
So, the so-called obedience test is that he makes an unreasonable request to see if you will trample on your bottom line in order to cater to him.
If you back down step by step, he will gain an inch. Many women are like this in marriage, the bottom line is getting lower and lower, and finally they lose themselves completely.
For example, when the marriage was good at the beginning, you felt that loyalty was your bottom line, and you were absolutely not allowed to betray or flirt.
But later, when he started flirting, you found that as long as you can brake in time and don't go out on dates, it seems that you can accept it; Later, even if he dates someone, you think it's okay as long as you don't have a relationship; Then, even if there is a relationship, as long as he can go home a few days a week, you will turn a blind eye; At the end of the day, even if he doesn't come back for a week, you don't think it matters.
See, is your bottom line getting lower and lower? Why is this so? In fact, it is because you have been affected by his obedience test and suppressed by him step by step.
So, how do you break out of this vicious circle? In fact, you just need to ask yourself one more question: What is my original need?
Whenever he takes a compliance test, he asks himself this question. You need a happy family, a complete family, not a man who cheats and doesn't come back for a week. As long as you're clear about that, your bottom line won't be back down.
Some people may say, "But he's already done a compliance test, what should I do?" ”
In this case, I give you two options: to complain to him without any real action; Or do you not say a word and hit him directly in the underbelly?
Think about it, if you can understand the psychology of this man, you will understand what to do.
I once taught a cadet a phrase that was particularly useful. When the man told her that she was in true love with the person outside, she said: "? "Magically done.
If you have more questions about male psychology, or have already experienced marital betrayal, I suggest you take some relevant courses, such as our "Reading the Man's Heart", to understand male psychology in order to better cope with this situation.
At the same time, you can also learn some courses to save extramarital crises, such as "Getting an Extramarital Affair", to help yourself out of the predicament.
Remember, we deserve to be loved and to have a faithful, happy marriage.
Don't let yourself be hurt in silence, face the problem bravely and seek solutions. Only then can we truly protect ourselves and not let anyone hurt us!