Anyone who achieves great things cannot fight alone, but rely on unity.
However, how can we get everyone's recognition and help?
The traditional practice is to treat guests to dinner and give gifts.
But if you think about it more, you will find that when it comes to eating, there are many people talking about it, and it is inevitable that they will get drunk, and they will act on the spot, not everyone likes it; Put down your job, you pay the bill, but the favor may not be retained. Some people still dislike the dishes you ordered, the taste is not good, the hotel you choose is too low-grade, and the wine is not good. This is really, the meat bun beats the dog, and there is no return.
Gift-giving, this is too eye-catching, in case someone guards against you "bribery", it will be embarrassing, and it may be blasted out; It's not a particularly good relationship, and this gift is to be eaten behind closed doors. Besides, people don't care about giving small gifts, and you don't necessarily have so much money when you give big gifts. If you give the gift out, it is really hurtful that people don't do things for you.
Zhang Zhidong, a famous minister of the Qing Dynasty, needed a large number of talents during the period of career development. To this end, he found several ways to make good social connections, which were much more effective than eating and giving gifts.
01
Employing strengths, abandoning weaknesses: fairness.
In order to strengthen the military strength of the Qing Dynasty, Yuan Shikai trained the Beiyang New Army at a small station; Zhang Zhidong was in Nanjing, training the self-improvement army.
Zhang Zhidong hired German instructors, and the team was expanding, but the effect was not very satisfactory. Instructors are often perfunctory, as if they were just mixing a salary.
How to change the situation, Zhang Zhidong found Liu Kunyi, the governor of Liangjiang.
Liu Kun thought about it for a while, recommended a young man named Liu Ren, and added: "This person turned out to be a child of a rich family who has studied in Germany for many years. He had a gambling habit, so he ruined his family fortune and became a gangster. ”
Zhang Zhidong found Liu Ren and found that he had learned artillery in Germany, and immediately reused it.
When Liu Ren took the money and went to Germany to purchase cannons, his addiction to gambling came up and he lost the purchase funds.
Zhang Zhidong gave a sum of money again, and specially explained: "Part of it is your living expenses." ”
Liu Ren was grateful, bought back eighteen cannons, and organized the construction of Wusong, Jinshan and other forts.
A powerful person is not exhaustive, but has one or two aspects that stand out. And the person will not be perfect, there will always be flaws.
How to help yourself with powerful people is to "develop your strengths and avoid your weaknesses". Look at each other's strengths, and then make the best use of each other's talents.
Look at people from multiple angles, you will always find his strengths, and then give help and encouragement, but also give him a stage, can use his strengths, then you will have a strong friendship.
Short man, don't be sarcastic, he is in a small space, he can walk; People who can do farm work can't make money, but give him a vegetable plot to ensure that you have good vegetables and fruits; People who can tell jokes can be trained to be sketch actors...... Who is there who is useless? It's just that you don't have an eye for beauty.
02
Ignore people's wrongs, insist on trust: sincerity.
Li Yuanhong, who was born in the late Qing Dynasty, was very good at reading, but he did not take the road of scientific research.
He also participated in the Sino-Japanese First Sino-Japanese War, and when he was defeated, he jumped into the sea to escape.
Regarding Li Yuanhong's merits and demerits, everyone has a lot of discussions.
At a critical time, Zhang Zhidong activated Li Yuanhong and put him in charge of supervising the construction of the fort.
Not long after, Zhang Zhidong promoted Li Yuanhong to be the chief instructor and special officer of the fort. This time, Li Yuanhong was jealous of many people and thought that he was promoted too quickly.
Someone made a small report and told Zhang Zhidong how bad Li Yuanhong was. Zhang Zhidong smiled, it is not the same thing.
When Zhang Zhidong recommended Li Yuanhong and asked him to be exempted from the general garrison of Qianqian and awarded the three products to wear, everyone stopped talking about right and wrong.
Balzac once said: "As long as there is a comparison between the true feelings of the irreversible friend and the cruelty of the world, a man will suddenly realize." ”
In a society where human affection is weak, a person who has been neglected, ridiculed, slandered, and then treated seriously and kindly, will form a contrast, and will also treat the person who treats him well as a noble person in life, and this favor can be left for a lifetime.
In a person's life, the person who can remember the most is not so-and-so at the dinner, not so-and-so who handed you cigarettes, but the person who stands firmly behind you and supports you.
03
Look at your own shortcomings, be self-reliant and self-reliant: magnetic field.
Zhang Zhidong often blames himself.
Li Yuanhong built the fort, but because of the use of inferior cement, it collapsed. He said to everyone, "This is my lack of supervision. ”
A foreign correspondent, Morrison, pointed out in the press that the Hanyang Iron Works in charge of Jang Zhidong was at a moment of crisis, saying that the cost remained high and transportation was difficult.
Zhang Zhidong asked Tang Sheng, the secretary next to him: "You and Morrison are friends, can you change the article?" ”
After speaking, Zhang Zhidong thought about it again: "Forget it, it's useless to try, why bother to humiliate yourself." ”
Iron has to be hard. If you have something you can't do well, how can you not let people say it?
When people interact with each other, they attract each other. People with energy are like a magnet that attracts people around them.
The greater the magnetic field, the stronger the attraction and the more help you can get from others.
In the Tao Te Ching, it is said: "Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear; The winner is powerful, and the self-winner is strong. ”
People's eyes are always staring at others as soon as they are opened. There are very few things that can be vipassana.
Even if someone points out a mistake, they don't necessarily accept it, and they think that others are finding fault.
If you don't correct yourself once or twice, then the people who like you will also hate you and leave you.
You have no value, and those who are close to you will leave immediately. You know, the person who leaves you is not hated socializing, but goes somewhere else, with people who are more valuable than you.
To put it bluntly, in any kind of relationship, there is value exchange and value attraction. What value do you have, that you deserve favor, that you can bring to others?
Elevate yourself, and then, the flowers bloom and the butterflies come.
04
Bad relationships, gold and jade, ruined in it.
It looks good, eats and drinks, pushes the cup and changes the lamp, flatters, and courtesy. But behind the scenes, there is always intrigue and calculation, and there is no light.
Zhang Zhidong said: "The way to control talents, suffer from their desirelessness, and if they have desires, they will be available." ”
A good relationship, ugly and virtuous, ugly and true, the inside and the outside are the same.
A good relationship puts people on the table and takes them to the next level.
A good relationship, a beam of light holding hands and a beam of light, lighting up each other.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.