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< happy, I laughed >
In September 2012, a CCTV reporter asked: Are you happy? Migrant worker back: My surname is Zeng. If I'm working out of town, don't ask me.
Time back to now, the "hit worker" of 2021, are you happy? Happy? Accept reality? Has the meaning of life been found? Did you select "Lie Flat"? Or, do you dare to turn off WeChat?
The famous French writer Nassim said in "Black Swan": We are just a huge machine that looks back, and human beings are extremely good at self-deception.
Does living at the "top of demand" really keep you entertained? In today's society, I don't think so.
We should abandon "high-level demand" in an appropriate amount and increase "low-level demand" in large quantities.
A low level will be very happy.
01
Why are missing requirements (low-level needs) increasingly missing?
< Maslow's hierarchy of needs is >
Maslow believes that unmet low-level needs will directly endanger lives. Only when low-level demand is met, there is an incentive to achieve higher demand.
(1) Physiological needs: food, water, air, sleep, sexual needs.
Food safety, sleep disorders have become social issues.
(2) Security needs: stable, safe, protected, orderly, free from fear and anxiety.
Problems such as childbirth, housing prices, medical care, schooling, job search, etc. continue to exacerbate fears and anxieties among social groups.
(3) Belonging and Love-Social Needs: A person's desire to establish emotional connections with others.
The length of study and work severely compresses personal private domain time, and social media makes the meaning of the real space constantly dwindling.
02
"The satisfaction of low-level needs" is more important than you might think
1. The need for lack of sex is fully met: why is the ski genius a bully valley Ailing?
What are you doing at 18?
18-year-old Gu Ailing, a talented skier in China, won 11 gold medals on behalf of China and was admitted to Stanford University with near-full scores. Talent aside, how did the 18-year-old achieve all this?
Lack of top-level needs: well-off family, highly educated parents, free family atmosphere, able to provide her with stable emotional value and strong support.
I was impressed by an interview when she was 14 years old and was going to an almost untrained event when she suddenly had a high fever. Gu Ailing's mentality collapsed and he was restless. Her mother always responded positively in the most peaceful tone, hugging and comforting:
Agree with her feelings: no fever, is it a particularly sore throat? Oh, it hurts so much, so why don't we go to the doctor?
Give the solution: You lie down for a while, and I'll see if there's a place to see a doctor nearby.
Show strength and support: It's not good yet, but you're certainly okay.
You see, Gu Ailing is clearly expressing her anxiety and fear, seeking intimacy responses through body and language. What is enviable is that my mother has not blamed, insulted, criticized, or shirked from beginning to end, but has been responding positively.
This is just an example of "empowering" Gu Ailing. She can use her family energy to recharge her heart at any time, so she is happy, confident and positive, and the more frustrated she is, the more courageous she is.
Gu Ailing won the second place in the final the next day. She also excitedly said: Growing up want to be a foodie.
< Valley Ailing 2020 Lausanne Winter Games >
2. One-sided pursuit of "self-actualization": the tragic world of the Magajus
--- Magashule's life stopped at the age of 23. The high school won the second prize in the Physics Olympiad, pre-rated as the "Three Good Students of the Province", and studied biotechnology at the College of Chemistry of Yunnan University Students. But only because he thought that "his classmates deliberately avoided him and did not like him", he killed 4 poor students who were also from the countryside.
--- Peking University Wu Xie Yu Yu Mother Middle School has excellent results, was admitted to Peking University in advance, and won the Three Good Students in school, Liao Kaiyuan Award, etc. Under the mother's perennial pressure and excessive desire for control, the psychology is distorted. After killing his mother, he borrowed money to prostitute, worked out, bought lottery tickets, and became a male model.
--- the Harvard twins killed their mothers The Harvard twin sisters killed single mothers only because their mothers did not let them "play with their mobile phones." The mother has been working part-time for her twin daughters to attend school and tutoring for extracurricular art classes.
In these extreme examples, they are all proud sons of heaven and have done an excellent job of "self-actualization". However, their basic needs as independent individuals are ignored, distorted and even suppressed, and the final outcome is inevitably regrettable.
03
The more the "low-level needs" are met, the more steadily and far life will go
1. Maslow believes that the lower the level of demand, the greater the power, the greater the potential, and as the level of need rises, the power of demand weakens accordingly.
As we continue to develop to the top, our strength will become relatively weaker and our potential will become insufficient. At the same time, there will be more and more failures and setbacks, which will make us helpless and overwhelmed.
2. Low-level needs are directly related to the survival of individuals, and when such needs are not met, they directly endanger lives.
"Low-level demand" is not an unimportant demand, but the most important demand, the pyramid base is unstable, this tower can not be built.
3. When low-level needs are met, or as much as possible most of the time, this is a kind of "strength" and "potential" accumulation.
With enough strength and potential as a support, in the pursuit of a higher level of needs, you can be calm and accumulate, so as to maintain inner peace and stability.
04
How we can compensate for the lack of "low-level demand"
1. Sleep well
Don't panic when you encounter major events, sleep first to accumulate mental strength.
"Sleep" sustains our lives by giving our bodies and brains adequate rest and adjustment. Sleep also allows us to eliminate fatigue, stabilize mood, promote development, grow intelligence, enhance immunity, nourish beauty and longevity.
2. Take care of your feelings
This is extremely important, and we must start to identify and act now.
a. All that involves others and other ideas do not count.
b. All that makes your first reaction is hesitation, irritability, disgust does not count.
C. All that makes you rank yourself at the bottom doesn't count.
d. Reject "everything in the dark", be open to the emotion, and fully accept it.
3. Writing --- the best way to heal
A lot of times you feel like things are over, it looks too peaceful, but it doesn't actually turn over. This kind of pain will be deposited deep inside and become a time bomb. The best way to heal is to write, and in the process of writing, you will reveal your truest feelings, self-dialogue, self-healing.
4. Travel - Travel to a non-commercial place
Treat yourself as a "person", temporarily abandon your social identity, you are just yourself, sing when you want to sing, jump when you want, right or wrong do not have to be considered.
You can sit down and watch the stars, chat with other people, and talk about something that doesn't have a "big meaning of life." Let the brain brush and empty.
5. Build closer relationships with family and friends
Humans are social animals, don't deny this. Stop at any time and ask yourself, how is your relationship with friends and family? Confess your feelings and feelings, and you can really get the support, love and tolerance you need.
6. Consult with professionals, participate in corresponding courses, and communities
It depends on each person's different needs. The premise is that you can meet your basic needs.
< May your heart be born of the sun>
Why are so many people now pursuing "lying flat"?
Have you ever thought that this is actually a social response to the serious lack of "basic needs"?
Therefore, I have found that many people who meet low-level needs will be more cheerful and more likely to be happy.
A lower level will make you happier.
(If you have different ideas or questions, please feel free to click on the comments)