Every festive season is urged to marry How to break the dilemma of communication between two generations of marriage and love?

Source: Beijing Youth Daily

"Marriage is urged every festive season": how to break the communication dilemma

Yang Chaoqing

A survey showed that 68.2% of the unmarried young people interviewed had experienced "marriage hypnosis", and 80.6% of the unmarried young people interviewed frankly said that they were "urged" to increase the pressure of visiting relatives and friends during the Spring Festival. In the face of marriage hypnosis, 59.2% of the unmarried youth surveyed will divert the topic and attention, and 53.0% of the unmarried youth surveyed will agree with whatever the other party says. (China Youth Daily, February 10)

At a time when the economy is market-oriented and the population is mobile, even parents and relatives can only have more opportunities to gather in the New Year. "Being urged to marry every festive season" is ultimately a generation gap in the discourse system between the two generations, and the screw cannot be screwed into the nut. They are not familiar with the city where young people are located, and they do not know much about the working life of unmarried young people, and caring about the situation of marriage and love has become a way and a word for parents and relatives to deal with their children.

Due to different ideologies and concepts, the two generations have very different attitudes on the issue of marriage and love. Not yet entering marriage and love has both the survival pressure of "living in the big and not easy", but also the helplessness of expanding the radius of marriage and intensifying the competition between marriage and love; in addition, pay attention to the degree of emotional fit, pursue lifestyle fit, and care about the consistency of values, so that "willing to wait and unwilling to be willing" has become a rational choice for young people.

The marriage hypnosis of parents and friends stems from the old experience and old methods of individuals, and also from the influence of acquaintance circles. Under the coercion of anxiety, Chinese parents who are accustomed to taking "other people's children" as references are prone to psychological gaps and relative deprivation; they who do not want their children to "fall behind" are eager to motivate and spur unmarried young people to "marry early" through various hypnotic hypnosis.

Entering marriage and love should not only have a clear understanding of oneself, but also form a healthy and mature view of marriage and love. Parents and relatives are accustomed to outcome evaluation, often only care about "whether there is or not"; young people care about process evaluation and care about "good or bad". Even if it is a leftover man and a leftover woman, we cannot deny their attempts and efforts in entering marriage and love; the elders must not only have a "problem awareness", but also a "process awareness", giving young people more room for growth and transition zones.

Behind the "marriage urged to marry every festive season", there is a dilemma of communication between the two generations. Some young people preconceived that "they don't understand what they say" and "they say it in vain", and give up making in-depth exchanges with their parents about their living conditions and feelings. This requires some parents to change their "condescending" posture and understand the current situation of their children's lives with a more peaceful attitude. When both parties can take the initiative to debug and actively communicate, "every festive season is urged to marry" can become an opportunity for positive interaction.