Our encounter is a grain of dust in the sea of people, but a grain of dust refracts the sun is the most dazzling, I hope you can tell me your story, and I will listen to your voice as the best listener, hello everyone, here is "Bar Emotional Station", I am lever ~
A woman's marriage can be divided into three stages.
The first stage is when you marry someone, the second stage is the character and habits that you marry into that person, and the third stage is the family you marry into this person.
Marriage and love are very different, love is a matter for two people, and marriage is a matter for two families.
Even Sanmao and Jose, who have a love that makes the world envious, still can't avoid the cold eyes of their families in their married life.
Even after Jose's death, her mother-in-law, despite Sanmao's grief, categorically made a request for the division of real estate, as if in her heart, she never regarded Sanmao as a member of her family.
In the face of her mother-in-law's indifference, Sanmao did not hesitate to give up all her and Jose's property, perhaps, the Si people have passed away, for her, these external things are useless.
In 1967, at the age of 24, Sanmao chose to go to Spain alone to study after a series of emotional tribulations.
No one knows that here she will meet the love of her life, Jose.
That Christmas, Sanmao was invited to a friend's house, and it was there that she met Jose.
This Spanish boy who was still in high school was handsome and handsome, humorous and cheerful, and Sanmao remembered him at once.
Similarly, this beautiful and mysterious oriental girl also deeply attracted Jose's attention.
Since then, Sanmao and Jose have become acquainted, and they have met together to play, walk, and explore the pursuit of life and ideals.
Until the last day of Jose's senior year of high school, Jose looked at sanmao in front of him with burning eyes, and he said:
"Echo, how about you wait for me for another six years, four years in college, two years of military service, and after six years, I'll marry you!"
"You're only in your third year of high school, so why did you think you were going to get married?" This was something that Sanmao did not understand at that time.
"I wanted to get married when I met you." Jose said.
Looking at Jose in front of her, Sanmao was deeply moved, however, at that time, she was not sure whether this hot feeling of youth could really last six years later.
So she didn't give him a definite answer, only said one thing, if six years later, you still think so...
Six years flew by, Sanmao traveled to Europe, and then returned to China, the unexpected death of her beloved fiancé gave her an unimaginable blow, and when she was discouraged and had nowhere to go, she returned to Spain again.
Here she suddenly remembered the Spanish teenager six years earlier, of the way he had opened a pair of bright eyes and vowed that he would come and marry her in six years.
Although it is not known whether Jose remembered his promise six years ago, Sanmao decided to pick up his pen and write him a letter.
However, before she could finish writing the letter, she received a call from a friend, and Sanmao had thought that she was only going to an old friend's appointment, but she did not expect that it was a ceremony agreed upon six years ago.
When Sanmao arrived at her friend's house, her friend took her into a room, and before she could see the contents of the room, a pair of warm hands covered her eyes.
She recognized at a glance the man in front of her, jose six years later, who had come to the six-year covenant.
At this time, Sanmao was moved to tears, and she hugged Jose in front of her, and decided in her heart that she would marry him.
For Sanmao's dream, Jose accompanied her to the Sahara.
They registered their marriage in a local town called Layoune, and on that day, Jose ran all over the desert he could reach, preparing a special wedding present for Sanmao, a complete camel skeleton.
This gift has become the love of Sanmao's heart, it not only symbolizes the feelings between the two, but also Jose's recognition and support for Sanmao's dream.
Their wedding didn't invite any family members, just two people had dinner together and exchanged wedding rings.
In their hearts, this was their wedding, as long as there were two of them.
Love and marriage, however, must be two very different things.
Jose's prerogatives already made his parents complain about their daughter-in-law, whom they had never met, and they did not even invite their parents to the wedding, which made Jose's parents feel angry.
In order to alleviate the dissatisfaction of the elderly, Sanmao began to write regular letters to Jose's father and inform them of their living conditions with Jose, and on holidays, the two would also go home together to spend the holidays with their parents.
With Sanmao's unremitting efforts, Jose's parents finally understood the choice of the two, and they finally recognized Sanmao's identity.
In Sanmao's pen, that married life was the happiest time of her life.
Although there are no vigorous touching deeds to be seen, a bouquet of flowers in the morning, a figure in the sunset in the afternoon, the lamp in front of the door, and a half-knitted sweater next to the desk, these little things show the feelings between Sanmao and Jose.
If everything could stop at that time, perhaps Sanmao and Jose's lives would be completely different.
September 30, 1979, was a major turning point in Sanmao's life and the last day of Jose's life.
Sanmao, who was sending his parents on board in London, heard the nightmare of Jose's death, and the microphone in his hand "snapped" and slammed into the ground.
Perhaps, at this moment, her mind was still stuck in the voice and smile of Jose before leaving, and she couldn't understand how someone she had just met could disappear from this world in the blink of an eye.
Back at home, Sanmao, at the moment of seeing Jose's body, seemed to have been drained of all her strength, and she couldn't believe that the cold corpse lying in front of her was the bearded Jose who promised to come back and make dumplings for her.
Jose's parents in Spain were grieving after hearing the news of their son's death, and when they arrived, they saw Sanmao, who was already thin and had no intention of surviving, and her mother-in-law hugged Sanmao and cried fiercely.
At this moment, Sanmao felt that his and his mother-in-law's hearts had never been so close.
However, when the funeral was all dealt with, real malice ensued.
That night, the mother-in-law knocked on the door of Sanmao's room and said bluntly that she would discuss Jose's property division with her.
At that time, Sanmao had not yet been able to come out of grief, and she was physically and mentally exhausted by the days of hard work, so she did not have the energy to participate in the face of her mother-in-law's proposal to divide the property.
However, such an attitude made the mother-in-law think that this was an evasive act made by Sanmao who wanted to swallow his son's property alone, so the tone was stronger.
In desperation, Sanmao could only let her mother-in-law give her a day to let her ease up from her sadness first.
The mother-in-law agreed to Sanmao's request and planned to come back the next day to discuss the division of property with Sanmao.
The exhausted Sanmao dreamed of Jose in her sleep, she seemed to see Jose when he was a child, the young Jose looked at other people's notebooks, very envious, but he could only erase the notebook he had used with an eraser and reuse it.
When Sanmao woke up, he cried fiercely again, perhaps for Jose, who had passed away, or perhaps for the little Jose in his dream who could not even get a new notebook.
The next day, when Sanmao and his in-laws went out, the two in-laws were talking about property issues inside and outside, but Sanmao at that time could not hear the deep meaning.
It was not until dinner that the mother-in-law invited her brother-in-law and talked at the table about the division of property that she had said the night before, that Sanmao understood that it turned out that when she was still immersed in grief, Jose's parents had forgotten their dead sons and began to seek those external possessions.
In order to fight for as much of the property that Jose left behind, the mother-in-law even cried at the dinner table, and the crying was even more mournful than the cry at Jose's funeral.
She claimed that in the second year after Jose and Sanmao's marriage, he had stopped paying living expenses to the family, and in order to force Sanmao to give up more property, she also turned over the fact that the two did not invite their parents to the wedding.
In fact, Sanmao's mother-in-law had a total of eight children, five of whom did not invite their parents when they got married, so Jose's wedding to Sanmao was not the only one.
In addition, the father-in-law and mother-in-law have their own estates, have a very stable income, and it is not difficult to survive before they want to divide their sons' property.
Maybe they just don't want to leave their son's property to Sanmao, who is not the daughter-in-law of the family in their eyes.
Although Sanmao repeatedly said that he wanted to eat this reunion dinner quietly and discuss these issues, he was still reprimanded for evasion and shirking.
In the end, amid the howl of her mother-in-law, Sanmao let go, and she only needed the wedding rings of the two when she married Jose, and the rest of the property was left to Jose's parents.
The sister on the side repeatedly advised Sanmao not to make a decision easily, but she could not change Sanmao's decision.
Later she wrote in her diary that the person I loved had left, what was the point of other things, and why didn't I leave them to his parents, at least to make life better for the person who gave birth to him.
However, in the face of Sanmao, who wanted nothing, the mother-in-law did not feel moved, and even took it for granted that it was deserved.
He even asked Sanmao to complete the handover procedures as soon as possible, and this eager attitude made Sanmao, who was already overly sad, feel even more distressed.
She did not understand that even if she was not accepted by her in-laws as a daughter-in-law, jose, as their son, when the bones were not cold, they thought not of grief, but of property, which was a desperate thing.
Seeing Sanmao's disappointed and shocked expression, the mother-in-law not only did not blame herself, but on the contrary said to Sanmao: "You don't want us, anyway, you don't want to live." ”
This sentence immediately knocked Sanmao's heart to the bottom, and she didn't understand why her mother-in-law could say such a thing.
But in an instant, she seemed to understand everything again, because they had been able to endure each other again and again because they had someone they loved together, but once this person disappeared, they would be strangers to each other than strangers.
After agreeing to leave all the property to her in-laws, Sanmao did not have time to clean up her mood, so she was rushed to go through various formalities, and once she said that she was tired and wanted to rest, her mother-in-law would accuse her of wanting to escape.
In such an environment, Sanmao once wanted to commit suicide, and finally under the persuasion of friends and relatives, he persevered.
Eventually, after she had finished all her property problems, she did not hesitate to return to her and Jose's home, and as soon as she landed, she ran to Jose's tombstone, leaning on the tombstone while weeping and talking.
Because she knew they would never have the next life, Sanmao remembered a passage she had said to Jose.
She asked Jose if he would choose to be with her in the next life, and Jose said no.
She was a little angry at first, until Jose explained why, "If there is a next life, I must live a different life, and, I know, you think the same way." 」 ”
Yes, Jose knew her as well as she knew Jose, so by virtue of this cold tombstone, Sanmao knew better than anyone that she had lost Jose forever, forever.
Perhaps many people do not understand why Sanmao's in-laws can be so cruel, although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been the most sensitive place in the topic of marriage, but after the death of the son, the first time they want to divide the property with their daughter-in-law, such in-laws are still rare, so why is Sanmao's in-laws like this?
In fact, under Sanmao's pen, we can easily find the answer to the question.
Although Jose was born in Spain, both customs and secular customs are very different from China, but in family life, many problems are common.
Jose's parents are strong by nature, treating their children harshly, and Sanmao married Jose without informing his parents, which was the first place that made his in-laws unhappy.
However, they will not attribute this dislike to their son, but only think that it is the daughter-in-law's fault.
Sanmao once said that the first time she met Jose's parents was a holiday after the marriage of the two, when before leaving, Sanmao was fully prepared and envisioned all the worst scenarios.
In order to be able to get the approval of her in-laws, she took the initiative to take on all the housework of her in-laws' family, and even in order to prepare meals for a large family of 37 people, she was too tired to straighten up, in such a situation, she was recognized by her in-laws.
It is conceivable that the daughter-in-law that Jose's parents want in their hearts is such a hard-working person, but it is clear that Sanmao is not.
She could have wronged herself for The Sake of Iowa, but she wouldn't have been like that forever, and that's why she and her in-laws would never agree.
In addition, Jose has a total of seven brothers and sisters, and in such a family with many children, the love of parents that each person can share is also limited, which can be seen from Jose's dialogue with Sanmao before his death.
In addition, Jose went to the Sahara with Sanmao to settle down with Sanmao after his military service, so in the hearts of his parents, his weight may be less and less.
Therefore, after the death of their son, parents are sad for the first time, and after grief, the first thing that comes to mind is the issue of property.
They believed that Jose had accumulated a great deal of wealth during his lifetime, and that this money should have been left to them.
And Sanmao, in their imagination, may be supposed to follow Jose, otherwise the mother-in-law would not say such a curse after Sanmao gave up all her property, unless it was out of her heart.
Jose loved Sanmao deeply, but Jose's parents were not, Sanmao understood, but the person she loved had left, how could she blame his parents for these things.
For a long time after Jose's death, Sanmao fell into an unextricable depression, and in countless late nights, she wanted to leave, but in the face of a moment of not daring to leave her parents, she could only force herself to live.
In order to express her thoughts about Jose, she wrote "How Much Do You Know About The Flowers in Your Dreams", although the relatives and friends around her were always trying to comfort her, but Jose's departure seemed to take away all her vitality.
On January 2, 1991, Sanmao was hospitalized due to illness, and the next day, she successfully completed the operation, but the day after the operation, she chose to leave at the age of 47.
She once said that a person has at least one dream, has a reason to be strong, if the heart has no place to live, everywhere is wandering, after Jose's death, she can only wander.
Good times are always short, thank you for reading this, I hope the story between us will continue, the bar is ready to listen here, is your story ready?