I don't know if you have found such a phenomenon, many children will cry after being yelled at to the arms of their parents to hug, yesterday I went to my sister's house, the little niece Meng Meng wanted to eat chocolate after the sister refused to start dropping the things on the coffee table, the sister was very angry and yelled at her, the mother roared Meng Meng was very wronged, she sat on the carpet and cried, after about five minutes, she ran to her sister and threw herself into her sister's arms to ask her mother to hug.
For Meng Meng's behavior I was very surprised, just now it is clear that I am angry with my mother, why suddenly come to hug, I asked my sister why Meng Meng is like this, my sister said that she did not know, but Meng Meng has always been like this.
Why do children cry and hug after being yelled at by their parents? For this reason, I specifically checked some information
Erikson's theory of personality development suggests that the critical period for children to build a basic sense of trust is from birth to age 2
Children during this period are unconditionally trusting and dependent on their parents, so after their parents yell at them, they will feel that their parents do not love me anymore, and in order to determine this attachment relationship, they will run over to hug and make sure that their parents love themselves.
The child's brain is not mature enough, they will give priority to forgetting sad things, the child's brain development law will also make them forget some sad things, the American "Journal of Neuroscience" once published a conclusion: if you want to erase those bad memories, then first become a child, therefore, the child may quickly forget the parents to kill themselves, they go to the parents with a normal mentality to find the hugs that their parents want.
Maslow divides people's needs into 5 levels, two or three levels are "the need for security" and "the need to belong", children will have the need for security, if the parents yell at the child, the child may lose the sense of security, especially some parents when they yell at the child like to use the "I don't want you" such a sentence, the child can actually understand some, they are worried that the parents really do not want themselves, so they will hug the parents in the past, which is also a disguised way of apologizing, the parents' embrace will make them feel warm.
A large part of the reason why the child will be hugged after being murdered by the parent is because the child is afraid, the parent's one or two yelling may be nothing to the child, if the multiple yelling may cause irreversible damage to the child's psychology.
What does it mean that parents yell at their children many times that their children may experience learned helplessness? That is to say, the child learns a desperate cognition from life, no matter how hard he tries, he will not get affirmation, and only the angry roar of his parents will be reflected in the child's despair.
Children who have been yelled at many times are also prone to psychological diseases such as depression or flattering personality, children who have been yelled at many times are prone to insecurity, worry that they will be abandoned by their parents, children will become inferior and even produce some character defects, good personality can affect people's life, bad personality can also affect people's life.
Children's character affects the way they look at the world, determines their attitude towards the world, parents do not underestimate the child's personality, only care about the child's learning, most people with good personality have high emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence accounts for 80% of success, IQ is only 20%.