Text/Shadow
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Berwick once said, "The person you marry is the person you feel is the best fit for you when you are most vulnerable." ”
What is vulnerability? Weak enough to take care of itself, desperately need a shoulder to lean on.
If a man is around you at this time and is willing to accompany you through the rest of your life, then you have found the right person.
Women's weakness is the easiest test of men's love, and I have seen such a sentence on the Internet:
"When a woman is capable of supporting herself, all men want to raise her; when a woman is unable to support herself, all men don't want to raise her."
A short sentence speaks to the state of mind of many men.
Men choose wives in three ways: the first, in order to find allies; the second, in order to change their destiny; and the third, for love.
Women who marry the first two types of men usually have a harder time, while women who marry the third type of men tend to be happier.
They don't have to fight alongside men, hold up a fluttering umbrella in the wind and rain, and they will be so well protected by men that they don't have to think about how to deal with the storm.
Women who actually marry the right person have one distinct characteristic – weakness.
This "weakness" is not innate, but is spoiled by men.
The "strong women" in marriage are forced out
Tagore once said: "Only by going through hellish ordeal can we cultivate the power to create heaven; only the fingers that have shed blood can play the world's best songs." ”
Gu Jia in "Thirty Only" is the perfect wife in the minds of all men.
On appearance: She is beautiful and has a good figure.
On the virtuous: She cooks a good dish, keeps the home in order, and takes good care of her husband and children.
On ability: She is highly educated, capable, and long-term, and is a key figure on her husband's road to success.
"Out of the hall, into the kitchen, beat the little three, fight the hooligans."
It's not enough to describe her in this sentence.
In addition to this, she can also afford to carry the company and protect her son.
Gu Jia is an all-round woman, and the reason why she is so all-powerful is entirely because she has an indisputable husband.
There are thousands of strong women in the world, but if you are married and have to take into account your career and family, and do a good job of a good wife and mother and a working woman, it can only prove that she married the wrong person.
If her husband is stronger, she has a dependence; if her husband helps her share some of it, she will not be so hard.
Strong women when single are inspirational symbols, and strong women in marriage are often forced to choose helplessly.
Men's love will create a woman's "weakness"
In "Knowing or Not", Mrs. Sheng said: "We must not raise Minglan like Yanran, and we cannot withstand half a storm." ”
Yanran has been widowed since childhood and has been raised by her grandparents.
Grandmother Yu was spoiled by her husband all her life, she did not understand house fighting, and she had been living in a beautiful and dreamy kingdom, so much so that she taught her granddaughter to be silly and sweet.
Mrs. Sheng is a person who has suffered hardships, she has wisdom and ability, and she can teach Minglan to be intelligent.
But those experiences of hers were exchanged for the history of blood and tears.
Mrs. Sheng's strength stems from isolation and helplessness, and Mrs. Yu's weakness is based on her husband's love.
A man truly loves a woman, will shield her from all the wind and rain, and water her into a weak flower with love in meticulous protection.
Such women usually cannot withstand the wind and rain, and are too weak to take care of themselves.
First, the weakness in life
There are two types of living ability: the first is the basic survival ability such as washing and cooking; the second is the ability to deal with human feelings.
A woman who is spoiled by a man as a princess often does not have these abilities, and if she does, it is extremely weak.
I once knew a woman who had been married for 20 years, had never been in the kitchen, and didn't even know how to use the utility card.
It is no exaggeration to say that this is how she has been spoiled by her husband as a child for 20 years.
At first, I would make some simple dishes, but then I would only boil boiled water.
As for the intrigues in the human condition, she did not know how to deal with it.
She is very simple and kind, only knows how to exchange hearts for hearts, and believes that there will always be many good people in this world.
Second, psychological weakness
Some women are very strong in their hearts, and Tarzan collapses in front of her and does not change; some women have poor psychological endurance, and a little setback will kill her.
The huge gap between the two mainly stems from one relying on oneself and one being loved.
Pine cypress stands between heaven and earth, alone with wind, frost, rain and snow; flowers grow in the greenhouse, do not know what the wind and rain are.
Different experiences create different endurances.
Third, mental weakness
An independent woman doesn't like to be dependent on others and can live well even if she lives alone.
Women who are spoiled by men often do not have such a strong spiritual strength.
She is very dependent, and if her husband is not around, she feels that she can't live on.
I once saw a news story on the Internet about "the husband needs to be isolated for a month, and the pregnant wife collapses and cries".
Some people feel arrogant, some people feel normal.
Obviously, most of the women who feel pretentious are independent and unloved; while most of the women who feel normal are as dependent on their husbands as the news heroines, and they cannot do without their husbands.
A prerequisite for a woman's happiness for the rest of her life: marrying a man
There has always been a nonsensical saying on the Internet: "No matter who you marry, the result is the same." ”
It is strange that many people believe it.
Zhang Ailing once said: "The form and weight of love is never set in our hearts, what kind of man you meet, you will talk about what kind of love." ”
Who a woman marries, the result is really very different.
Good men will give you happiness and never have to grow up; irresponsible men will make you suffer and even despair about marriage.
For a woman, choosing the right man is the guarantee of a girl's happiness.
01 Choose a personality between appearance and personality
Everyone has a heart for beauty, but appearance is not particularly important to marriage.
After getting married, you will find that height and appearance are not important, and it is the guarantee of marriage for a long time.
No matter how good the appearance is, there is also aesthetic fatigue, marriage pays attention to the fit of personality, and only people with compatible personalities can spend the rest of their lives together.
02 Choose a character between material conditions and character
It is often said, "Poor couples mourn." ”
This has some truth, but it does not mean that material conditions are the most important part of marriage.
Material conditions cannot be ignored, but they are insignificant relative to character.
Women marry people, material conditions can be changed, and character is a stubborn part of "difficult to move".
Only by living with a man of good character and a sense of responsibility will you not be too bad.
I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.