Seeing the neighbor's youngest son, who is 23 years old, earns millions a year, I know how powerful the Wallach effect really is
Education is not about shaping talent, but about discovering it.
Help the child find his longboard, and life will go more smoothly.
Author | Tomato Mom
Over the weekend, Aunt Zhou's youngest son, Ajie, who works in Hong Kong, came back from annual leave to visit relatives.
Usually the two of us move around a lot, but this time, in order to thank our family for taking care of us, Applejack specially made a table of dishes and invited us to his house for dinner.
After a dinner, I couldn't help but sigh:
"The pattern and vision of parents are really important. ”
It turned out that Aunt Zhou's family had 2 sons.
Raising the eldest son will have no experience in education, just want him to go to the best university and have a glamorous job, so he forces him to study every day and don't think about anything else.
As a result, the eldest son was not the material for studying, and he had been a chicken for more than ten years, which made both the mother and son tired, not to mention, and finally only took the examination for a junior college, and he is still changing jobs.
When the eldest son was 10 years old, Aunt Zhou gave birth to a younger son, because the eldest son of the chicken failed, she read a lot of books on education, and the pattern gradually opened up.
The youngest son's studies are not very good, but he likes to study trendy clothes and various styles of clothing since he was a child, which is simply the fashion vane of the whole school.
Aunt Zhou has learned from the past and does not stop him, and often supports him to go to school in strange clothes and accompany him to go shopping for clothes.
Later, the youngest son was naturally admitted to the art academy, and in his sophomore year, he founded his own fashion brand with his friends.
Last year, he also set up his own studio in Hong Kong, which is a good income and has a bright future.
It's really emotional.
Two children born to the same parents have very different life trends because of the difference in education methods.
A child who grows up and has no future
Most of the time it's in the wrong direction
Watched a video.
A pair of parents who are top students work hard for their son's studies, but their children's grades have not improved.
In the end, the father reluctantly gave up, and said with a sad face:
"I graduated from Tsinghua University and tutored my children in mathematics, and his mother, Peking University, focused on Chinese, but my son's three homework combined, and he couldn't score 100 points in the exam. ”
There is no shortage of such parents around, who obviously do their best for their children's education, but the results are always unsatisfactory.
It's not that you're not working hard enough, it's just that you're trying in the wrong direction.
I read a report about mainland snowboarder Zeng Wenyi, and I was deeply moved.
Zeng Wenyi was able to embark on the road of skiing, which can be said to be a mistake.
His father is a typical "chicken baby parent", who often forces Wen Yi to learn Olympiad mathematics and piano, and if he doesn't learn well, he doesn't work hard enough.
Under the huge pressure, Wen Yi's psychology has problems, he becomes sensitive to crying, and always competes with himself.
It wasn't until one time that the child had a heart attack for no reason, and the parents panicked and decided to stop the make-up class and lower the requirements for the child, "as long as you live".
On the weekends after free, my father took Wen Yi to ski around.
Unexpectedly, Wen Yi fell in love with this sport, and he was extremely talented, made rapid progress, and skated out of the national championship and was selected by the country to go to Switzerland for training.
Zeng Wenyi (second from left)
Wen Yi's parents seem to have no intention of inserting willows, but they mistakenly found the true meaning of educating their children:
Education is never about shaping a child into what you want, but about helping a child to bring out his strengths to the fullest.
More than 100 years ago, there was a young German boy named Otto Wallach.
His parents wanted him to excel in literature in the future, so they let him major in literature.
After a semester, the teacher commented on him: "I work hard, but I am too rigid and will never show my talent in literature." ”
In desperation, he had no choice but to study oil painting instead.
But drafting, composing, polishing...... He couldn't learn these basic art skills, and the art teacher openly disliked him: "You are the uncultivated material in the art world." ”
The successive denials devastated Wallach and made him doubt himself for a while.
It wasn't until a chemistry teacher found out that he was serious, focused, and had the characteristics to study chemistry, so he encouraged him to embark on the path of chemistry.
As a result, this former stupid child went all the way on the road of chemistry and became a Nobel Prize winner in chemistry.
This is known as the "Wallach effect":
That is, every child has their own strengths and weaknesses, as long as they find the best position for themselves and give full play to the potential of their strengths, they can achieve amazing achievements.
Find your child's longboard
Everyone has a bright future ahead of them
Cats the Musical is the longest running show in Broadway history and was once synonymous with musicals.
But the show's choreographer, Gillian Lynn, has been considered a "problem child" since she was a child.
When Lynn was 8 years old, her parents received a notice from the school that the teacher thought she had a "learning disability" because she was constantly moving around the classroom and disturbing her classmates.
Her mother took her to a psychiatrist with concern.
The doctor questioned her mother and watched her carefully. After that, music was played in the house, and my mother was called out of the room, and the two of them secretly observed through the window.
They discovered that Little Lynn would walk, swing, and dance to the rhythm of the music.
So the doctor said to Lynn's mother, "Look, your daughter is not sick, she is very talented in dancing!"
So, under the guidance of the doctor, the mother took her daughter to dance school.
There, Lynn's dancing cells were ignited and eventually became the most famous choreographer of our time.
There's a good saying:
"Children's intellectual development is uneven, they all have strengths and weaknesses, once they find the sweet spot, so that their intelligence can be fully expanded, they can achieve amazing results. ”
Every child is unique and has different inner potentials.
If the child is forced to constantly fill in his own shortcomings, the child will only be exhausted and will not achieve anything in the end.
But if you can give full play to your child's longboard, your child will be like a fish in water, and the future can be expected.
I've seen such a news:
Tu Yanbo, a 15-year-old boy from Hangzhou, chose to take a year off from school for bird watching.
His grades are average, but he has had a fanatical love for birds since he was a child, and he goes out to watch birds whenever he has time.
His parents were particularly supportive of his interest, not only spending 20,000 yuan to equip him with equipment for bird watching;
Dad also drove more than 10,000 kilometers from Hangzhou to Yunnan, just to accompany him to bird watching;
The mother helped her son apply for a public WeChat account, named "Natural Ecology", which is convenient for posting some original bird-watching articles.
So far, he has recorded 1,600 species of birds at home and abroad, and has also been among the judges composed of major experts and scholars.
Now, he has his own goal, which is to study ecology at Cornell University in the United States.
The reason for this leave of absence was to do some bird volunteer work to give him extra points for his university application.
When a child finds his or her own direction, the whole person will become more and more confident, full of internal drive, and the future will be smoother and smoother.
The famous psychologist Gardner said:
"Every child is a potential genius, but it shows a different direction, and parents need to understand their child's intellectual strengths in order to train their child to be an excellent person who adapts to social development."
A child's potential is like a sparkling diamond that needs to be tapped and guarded by parents.
Some time ago, a father's speech at a parent-teacher meeting in Shandong became a hot search.
The father first admitted that his son was a "scumbag", dragged the class back, and apologized to everyone in public.
Then, he changed his words and said:
"But I still believe that it is entirely possible for him to become a pillar of the country, and I believe that he can have a bright future. ”
He also counted the reasons in detail:
"My son is very mentally strong, he has such a poor academic performance, but he can still eat, drink, play and sleep.
I am a senior psychological counselor, his mentality is stronger than mine, and in the future, he will embark on the road of society, a person is psychologically strong and emotionally intelligent, which is a very important factor for success. ”
I can't help but praise this father's mentality and pattern.
There is no universal standard for excellence, and every child is unique.
We can't use the same ruler to measure different lives and divide them into three, six, nine and so on.
Wei Shusheng has said in many speeches:
"Successful education, in fact, is the simplest, that is, to discover the child's strengths, keep it, carry it forward, and work hard. ”
A good education is never about following the crowd, but about being customized for each person.
Children are lively and energetic, and can be guided in the direction of sports;
Children like art and music, and can cultivate more artistic sentiments;
Children like to read and imagine, which can lead them to create more;
Even if he doesn't have any special skills, as long as he is sunny, positive, kind and happy, it is a success.
I hope that his parents can make good use of the "Wallach effect" to fully tap his potential and let him be as free and happy as a fish in water.
I also hope that every child can dream of flying in the mountains and forests, galloping in the wilderness, reaching the place they want to go, and becoming the person they want to become.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage together.