01
All moral aspects and criticisms aside, what is the core motivation for extramarital relationships?
Especially for women, you must understand the situation and your own situation, otherwise you have no way to maintain it, including being dragged into the abyss by your unrealistic fantasies.
So the core motivation of men.
1. Enrich your life with the help of extramarital relationships, so that you can live a happier, more comfortable, and more passionate life.
2. He did not come out to find a marriage partner to replace his wife, but instead used extramarital relations to fill the shortcomings within his marriage, so that his marriage would be more stable.
For example, he doesn't have the passion and patience to keep his marriage alive.
Then the passion he gets from you, and the guilt that arises because of his actions, has the potential to make him patient with his wife again.
To put it simply, all his extramarital acts are based on family, career and interests.
It also means that you have to endure his love for you, and his kindness to you, all with limits. After he allocates his time, energy, and feelings to his family and career one by one, he can get your turn.
If he is tired, or has nothing extra to give to you, you must also be sensible and keep to yourself.
So you still don't understand? The amount of time he spends with you, the affection he can give you, including the money he spends on you, are all things that no one else can use.
Maybe he loves you very much, but this love is definitely based on your understanding, your safety, and your cheapness.
02
Ding Miao's (pseudonym) extramarital relationship lasted for about 2 years. is based on her absolute sensibility, which has been maintained for 2 years, regardless of whether behind this sensibility, it is out of patience or wait-and-see.
In fact, Ding Miao didn't think about this problem.
For example, except at the beginning, he was like a single little boy, chatting with him 24 hours a day, never saying "I'm busy" and "I'm inconvenient". Even in a meeting, he has time to reply to his messages. Including all kinds of squeezing sponge-like squeezing time, running to see yourself with a scream.
The most outrageous time, Ding Miao was on a business trip in other provinces, and he could also drive hundreds of kilometers just to see each other.
Later, his enthusiasm gradually waned, and these Ding Miao could understand, even if they were eating, a phone call from his wife could call him back.
Of course, although Ding Miao was jealous, jealous and disappointed in his heart, he could still understand him. After all, he is an adult, and he can't be so willful in everything, and he will even persuade him that he can eat at any time, and you go back first.
But Ding Miao never told him, or always fantasized in his heart, that if one day he needed it, he should stay.
Later, the two of them spent more and more time together and became more and more familiar, and Ding Miao became more and more sure of his fantasies.
But it is precisely because he is becoming more and more familiar that his true side is more and more exposed. He only thinks of himself when he needs it, and he only finds himself when it's convenient, and even only when he's bored and really can't have a way to have fun.
Even he began to ask Ding Miao and was not allowed to take the initiative to send him a message.
It wasn't until Ding Miao went to have an abortion because he was on an intravenous drip afterwards that he received a call from his wife asking him to go back. This time, Ding Miao was willful and wanted to keep him with him, so he took his hand and did not hide his plea in his eyes.
But he only threw Ding Miao this sentence: "You are sick, do you want me to divorce?" ”
At that moment, Ding Miao realized, what kind of extramarital true love, hehe. You can only cooperate with his pastime, you cannot be greedy. The most important thing is that at this time, he has formed such an ironic gap with his previous patience in coaxing and appeasing Ding Miao to have an abortion, and even talking about future plans.
03
Still don't get it? Maybe he loves you, but maybe he can't tell whether it's love or lust.
From beginning to end, your relationship is a game for him, at the service of his experiences and feelings. It's essentially a game service, and you're just acting as an outlet for him at his leisure.
Even if he really loves you, this love only exists when he is bored.
He will never be able to love you without skipping his family, career, and interests, and there is no way to take any risks for your sake.
That's why he doesn't have time to reply to your messages when he's busy. And why do you need to keep to yourself when you are with your family?
If you have to fight with these core interests, then he will not hesitate to sacrifice you and abandon you. He even has reason to suspect that you have changed and become materially greedy, which also gives him a reason not to love you, as well as an excuse to break up.
Everything is fake, and he just stands there and plays with you.
Your so-called love is only with the help of his fantasies. You are not in love with him, you are in love with your own love, in love with your own fantasies.
Got it, it's like when he goes to an Internet café to open a computer and play games after he is busy with work and family, using his boredom and pocket money.
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