The Iron Law of Love: The person who treats you like this is just "pretending to love you"

What a joy

2024-06-26 06:50Posted in Shandong Emotional Field Creator

Mayday has a lyric:

"I stand on your left, but it is like the Milky Way."

There is a feeling called "fake intimacy".

In the eyes of outsiders, you are very affectionate, very normal, and have never had contradictions;

But only you know that all the politeness, politeness, and superficial affection hide behind the "sense of alienation" that cannot be changed.

Everyone is optimistic about you, but only you know that you are just "acting".

Pretend to be in love, pretend to be intimate, and create the state of a model couple (husband and wife).

-01

What are the characteristics of pseudosexual intimacy?

First: the most intimate moments, which only happen in "sex".

When you have physical needs, it is the time when the relationship is closest and you need each other the most;

It is only in sex that you have the true feeling of being a "partner".

But after each taking what he wants, the other side or both parties return to coldness.

Treat each other as "tools to meet certain needs of the self", and maintain this tacit understanding;

Stay close to each other when you need them, and don't bother each other when you don't.

Second: just look intimate

Outside, create a loving couple character;

In private, he reverted to a polite, cold mode of getting along.

This is what happens when a person is in a "fake intimacy":

Only when there are many people, the other party shows that they love you and care about you;

When no one is around, the other person doesn't care about your emotional needs at all.

Third: highly rational and more focused on "interests"

In this relationship, at least one person maintains absolute sanity;

Everything he does is for the sake of achieving a purpose in his heart.

Like what:

They treat you better and pay a little for you, but they just ask for you.

They don't love you, but they can pretend to love you.

If your conditions are better and can bring him more benefits, he will not leave you.

Even if he doesn't love you, he can pretend to love you very much.

Fourth: They don't love you, but they enjoy the feeling of being "needed".

He has been immersed in this aura of "savior", giving for you, being nice to you, pretending to be in love with you, will make him feel needed.

He doesn't care how much affection he has for you, he only cares if he can be needed.

In pseudo-intimacy, there is also a special case:

The other person is a typical "narcissistic personality".

I don't love you, I don't separate from you, but I also want to create a good relationship atmosphere;

In itself, it is to satisfy his inner narcissism, and complete his character shaping of loyalty to himself, high sense of morality, and great sense of responsibility.

The gentleman Jianyue Buqun in "Smiling Proud Jianghu" is such a No. 1 character.

His ambitions, his desires, and all his feelings are not in his wife and daughter, but only in his "martial arts dream" all along.

He wants to be the real first person in martial arts, but his kung fu is not enough, so he first breaks through from the "character design".

So he has been creating a "righteous gentleman" character all his life to achieve this disguise and satisfy his inner narcissism.

-02

Simple criteria for judging whether someone loves you or not: actions and feedback

All relationships, if you look at them separately, are actually not that complicated.

When you are thirsty, you want to drink water;

When you're hungry, you want to eat;

When you think of someone, you subconsciously want to send them a message;

The more important things, you will start doing immediately.

What does all this mean?

Priority.

Those who put themselves first are not easy to suffer in any relationship;

Those who put the other party first can only suffer grievances.

When you both have the same priorities, the measure of true love is:

The other party is willing to give you the same dedication, emotion, and care in return; And in the process of your giving, he will use actions to show you what he will give back.

What is it like?

A long-distance couple who haven't seen each other for more than half a year.

finally met once, and the moment they saw each other, both sides subconsciously ran to each other.

That's positive feedback.

Different priorities, love will be skewed, and the higher the expectation, the more disappointed people will be.

If the other party does not give you the same feedback, but only perfunctory comfort of your feelings;

In the process, you also feel that they are not so attentive to you.

But you are still reluctant to give up and unwilling to leave the other party......

It's not love, it's an addiction to your own person, and when you are needed by the other person, you get a great addiction in your heart.

From a psychological point of view, this is the sunk cost.

The party who pays more will not leave easily even if he perceives that his partner is not loving.

The input cost is too high, and I want to stop the precipice, but I can't stop it.

Topic:

Have you ever experienced "fake intimacy"?

Author He Suohuan:

Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, social relationships, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.

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