After talking so much about building comfort, today I will give you a detailed example to illustrate it and help you deepen your understanding.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
I met a girl who was dissatisfied with her boyfriend's state because he didn't want to go out to work and played games at home all day.
In fact, this problem is relatively common, girls are not satisfied with their boyfriend's state, and they usually take a preachy approach, and this girl is no exception, constantly complaining and nagging her boyfriend.
One will say that your boyfriend knows how to play games, and the other will accuse your boyfriend of not having a job, not knowing how to go out to find a job, etc.
Later, my boyfriend was really told that there was no way, so he simply stopped playing games at home and ran out to play games.
Of course, this boy definitely didn't express it like this, the boy said that he had found a job outside and wanted to go to work every day, but in fact, the girl knew in her heart that the boy just ran out to play games.
At this time, this girl found me and asked me: Teacher, why did he do this? I knew he was out playing games, and he was going to lie to me, so I really wanted to follow him.
At this time, I also simply said: Then you go and catch it.
As a result, the girl was stunned and said: Teacher, it seems that it is not a good way to catch him, because this time I will commit it next time, I want to ask how to make my boyfriend not play games.
I also said directly: if you don't arrest him, you will drive yourself crazy, make you think about tea and dinner all day long, and tremble with anger, then you will arrest him, because no matter what the situation, you are the first.
But you also have to understand that if you go and arrest him, then the follow-up is useless except to make your boyfriend uncomfortable and yourself uncomfortable.
Even if you do too much of this kind of thing, eventually your boyfriend will not be able to stand it and propose to break up with you, the comfort between you will completely disappear, and he will naturally break up. You know.
The girl also asked me at this time: What should I do next?
Xiaoyu said to redeem
This is also our theme today, in fact, anything, you want to achieve the goal, not only preaching, you need to pay attention to the premise of comfort, take the way to achieve your goal, the following is my advice to this girl.
First of all, we must find out why my boyfriend is addicted to playing games, and figure out the reason behind him, and later I learned that this boy is actually very idealistic and ambitious, but because he was deceived by his partner in the process of starting a business before, he fell into a slump and began to play games to escape reality.
Knowing this, the next thing a girl has to do is not to demolish her boyfriend, but to pretend that her boyfriend is really going out to work. Girls who can't do it should do more ideological work for themselves, and they must do this.
You can think of it this way, you are his girlfriend, even if you meet a boyfriend who loves to play games, you have to do what your girlfriend should do.
The next thing is to cook and clean at home and cook the dishes that your boyfriend loves to eat. After waiting for my boyfriend to come back, say some comforting words to the boys, what is working hard outside, I can't help much, I'm really worried about you, etc.
As soon as these words come out, your boyfriend will think that you are very sensible and considerate.
Then at a certain time, you pretend to be very unhappy, and your boyfriend will notice it, and your boyfriend will definitely ask you what's wrong, and you will say that there is something going on at home recently and you need money, but you are afraid that your boyfriend is working too hard, so you don't dare to tell your boyfriend. Here you can also cry out appropriately to increase your sense of grievance.
That's it, it's time to clean up, it's time to mop the floor.
The purpose of doing all this is actually very simple, which is to inspire a boy's sense of shame and let him know that he feels that he is not capable of helping you, and he will find a way to go out to work.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
The case is mentioned here, although I cite the establishment of comfort in getting along, but in fact, the principles are the same, and the same is true in the process of redemption, and everyone understands the use of it.
Finally, I wish you all good luck.
#前任##挽回##失恋#