Do you want to train your child to be Jiang Ping, or "Earth Pig Arch Cabbage" Zhang Xifeng?

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2024-06-28 11:15Creators in the field of education

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01 Jiang Ping, a secondary school girl, ranked twelfth in the preliminaries of the Alibaba Global Mathematics Competition and became the focus.

02 Jiang Ping's success has attracted the attention of public opinion, sparking discussions about talent, love and hard work.

03 At the same time, Zhang Xifeng, a graduate of Hengshui Middle School, attracted attention because he regretted choosing a computer major.

04 However, Zhang Xifeng said that he didn't like computers, couldn't find other things he loved, and fell into confusion.

05 Experts believe that parents should remove the barriers for their children to pursue their passions and let them freely internalize positive emotions.

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"No one asked about the cold window for ten years, and he became famous all over the world in one fell swoop."

Jiang Ping, a secondary school girl, defeated a number of top students from famous schools in the preliminaries of the Alibaba Global Mathematics Competition, ranking 12th, and became a well-deserved focus this summer.

Everyone took a magnifying glass to examine the success of this girl's "can't write a script", trying to summarize how a counterattack story can be replicated.

Author: Miss Manglai is a national second-level psychological counselor and an intermediate marriage and family counselor

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Win in talent, but also win in love

Jiang Ping, a secondary school girl, is not the first grassroots player to become popular in the Alibaba math competition.

Sun Jinyuan, the "courier brother" who was shortlisted for the finals last year, also caused a discussion at that time. Sun Jinyuan delivered couriers during the day and studied mathematics at night, and it took only 2 weeks to prove the tricky formula of Euler's constant.

It's a pity that Sun Jinyuan's story didn't make a splash in the field of public opinion, but Jiang Ping's topic is particularly high.

For several weeks, netizens from all over the world went to Jiang Ping's hometown of Huai'an, Jiangsu Province to check in. In order to protect Jiang Ping's privacy, the local government had to protect her from being disturbed by netizens.

Under the keywords of "17 years old, technical secondary school, girl, genius", the topic about her has experienced a clear "Moses Division":

Those who support her think that she is a once-in-a-century genius girl and an idol who has been reborn after failing the high school entrance examination.

Those who opposed her found loopholes in the problem-solving process from her board book, and questioned her for cheating and fraud in the dark.

Regarding everything in the field of public opinion, Jiang Ping did not respond. She attended the final on June 22 as scheduled and answered the questions. It is reported that the difficulty of the final exam is analogous to the doctoral exam in mathematics, and the final results will be announced in August.

Regardless of whether she can get a good result in the finals, as a secondary school girl, she can stand on such a stage, neither humble nor arrogant, and not affected by the outside world, which is already a victory.

Why is Jiang Ping so sought after?

The report of "Nanfeng Window" mentioned a sentence: "Jiang Ping" became a symbol thrown into the Internet, which no longer represents a person, but a person, a way of survival.

What kind of way to survive? That is: love without utilitarianism.

Jiang Ping liked mathematics in junior high school, and after failing the high school entrance examination, she chose fashion design for her secondary school major, or out of her love for "symmetrical beauty".

There is no vigorous story about her relationship with mathematics, she is driven by interest, and naturally invests time and energy, and she will not think about becoming famous and starting a family and getting extra points in exams.

and Jiang Ping's math teacher, Wang Runqiu, who could pursue more utilitarian career opportunities, but was just an ordinary math teacher.

True love is one who can endure mediocrity in this life, endure not being able to succeed, endure sacrifice and being objectified, but cannot bear to stop pursuing love for an hour.

Many people feel that Jiang Ping's success cannot be replicated. Her talent in mathematics is truly beyond her reach. But in fact, there is still something for us ordinary people to learn from in her - driven by love, she continues to dig deep into her potential, and finally forms a strong core.

A child, if he can have this firmness and core, will be a particularly self-consistent and happy person in the future, even if he is not a particularly successful person.

The boy who was admitted to Zhejiang University now regrets it

At the same time that Jiang Ping became popular, another boy who had been on the hot search came into the sight of netizens.

He is Zhang Xifeng.

In 2021, as a senior in Hengshui Middle School, he talked about his life ideals in "Super Speaker", and his sentence was particularly deafening: "I am a 'soil pig' from the countryside, and I also want to aspire to arch the cabbage in the big city." ”

Although this remark brought him a lot of cyber attacks, there are still many netizens who are infected by his newborn calf's spirit of not being afraid of tigers, thinking that he was admitted to Zhejiang University with his hard work, and his strong desire to "change his fate" inspired everyone.

Three years have passed, and the high-spirited Zhang Xifeng "has no light in his eyes".

In a recent interview, he said of the confusion of university life: "I am miserable, the process of my study is very painful, I am not happy. ”

Talking about his professional computer department, he said: "I thought that computers made money, but I didn't understand it at the time, and everyone said that this was good, so I chose this very blindly...... I regret learning computers, I regret it. ”

He doesn't like computers, but he can't find anything else he loves, and he has tried to do AI projects, shoot short videos, and be a game anchor, but he can't stick to it.

"I'm in a good state right now, and it's okay to die."

Although Zhang Xifeng now has the golden sign of a graduate of Zhejiang University, he doesn't even know where to take the first step.

Zhang Xifeng understood his frustration as: "Since I was a child, I only knew how to read and do problems, and I didn't think about cultivating anything else at all." ”

"I don't want to go to graduate school, I have enough in high school."

"It's not a learning material, learning doesn't bring me the joy of studying, only pain."

Although Zhang Xifeng has obtained the coveted diploma, he also represents the state of many children: he has worked hard to achieve the goals projected to him by the outside world, but his core has been empty, and he doesn't know what he likes to do.

Because of this, it is difficult for him to experience the fun of the boring learning process, and he is more likely to be swayed by external material factors such as money, houses, and cars, and is eager to fill the inner emptiness with more money.

He is excellent and sad, while Jiang Ping is ordinary and happy. What killed Zhang Xifeng's happiness and love? What makes Jiang Ping so obsessed with mathematics and willing to be ordinary?

The secret to the strength of the kernel

Love is the ability to internalize "all kinds of differences in life".

Internalization is an instinct. The duckling watched the mother duck dive, and the number of times he did, he also drew a gourd to learn to dive, which is internalization;

Children are exposed to other thinking patterns, and they are exposed to more and more of them, and they update their old thinking patterns and begin to make decisions in a better way, which is also internalization.

Internalization means chewing, absorbing, and flexibly applying knowledge. The ideal internalization is for the child to fully integrate something that has a practical and positive effect on life into life, stack quantitative changes little by little, and eventually lead to qualitative changes, and move to a new level in life that continues to shine.

Internalization is the premise and foundation of love, and the reason why a child will like something for a long time is because he has made a lot of preliminary preparations around it.

For example, children who like to write spend a lot of time in contact with imaginative words, comics, games, and travel scenery, and absorb a variety of creative models for their own use;

Children who like mathematics are exposed to a variety of math problem types, problem solving ideas, thinking patterns, and thinking templates. This makes them more gifted than other children, and this intelligence gives them access to more knowledge, more positive feedback, and more Bole.

Some of the various things that a child absorbs in the process of life have achieved her love, and the criterion for choosing which part to achieve her love is positive emotions.

Being able to get in touch with all the differences in life, internalize them, and put them into practice, generating and expressing a lot of emotions – happy, sad, restless, excited, ...... Then stabilize in constant feelings and selectively internalize those things that make you feel positive.

When children's past experiences and knowledge system tell them what they are happy to do, they will continue to internalize what is related to it, and make this love more and more excellent through repeated chewing and practice.

So, love is a choice.

You may want to ask: since a child can internalize his love by repeatedly touching a thing, then I force my child to read, why doesn't he love to read?

This is precisely because the child does not internalize, he does not feel a lot of positive emotions from learning, but instead he feels a lot of negative emotions - nervousness, fear, anxiety, low self-esteem......

Due to the human instinct to seek advantages and avoid harm, subconsciously children are reluctant to let this part of their lives into their lives, so they refuse to internalize them.

The official account Gu Yu Planet once reported a child who successfully climbed vines, he was diagnosed with intellectual retardation when he was a child, but he found a love for writing when he grew up, and later showed great strength, even if he took a big risk, he still bravely expressed his opinions.

When asked about the secret of climbing vines, he said, "Climbing vines is an art, not a technique...... We are to be whole, not perfect. ”

It can be seen that in addition to learning to learn, children also learn all kinds of things, and become a complete person who can settle various emotions and create positive emotions.

As children grow up, they are free to internalize the things that make them feel positive and that are beneficial to their life growth.

When a child's core is positive, free, and whole, love happens.

Parents clear the barriers, and children find love

Why are some children unable to internalize it properly? What obstacles did they face?

I think one of the most important obstacles is that parents are too easily "frightened", they feel anxious about the little things that are going on in their children's growth, they pour these negative emotions into their children, and try to control their children in order to relieve their own anxiety.

I often hear some adults say that when they were young, they couldn't stand their parents' "change of face", and when they saw their parents unhappy, they would think that they had done something wrong, and try to do something to make them happy. For example, tell your parents, "When you grow up, I'll buy you a big house." ”

But in fact, they don't want to say these things at all, because the mood for saying them is too nervous, too heavy, too depressed, and they are disgusted and repulsed. When they grow up, they don't make these expressions again.

Parents, consciously or unconsciously, put pressure on their children to absorb what is really good for them.

Before love is born, children need a stable and relaxed environment where they can observe people and things that really make them happy.

If parents really can't control their anxiety, then settle for the next best thing. Let your child be more close to nature and allow him to try a variety of things.

Children are young and are allowed to roll on the floor, play with toys on their stomachs, spill milk, and get their clothes dirty...... This allows children to take the first step towards independence, observe and summarize who they really are and how they relate to the world.

Older children allow them to refute their parents, have their own privacy, be moderately "unprofessional", and do rebellious things above the bottom line...... This allows children to become more and more autonomous and take the initiative to complete some creations.

In addition to this, parents can also step away from the role of "parent" and be themselves in front of their children and do things that they want to do rather than what they should do.

This not only allows children to internalize their parents' love and absorb the ways in which they create happiness, but also reduces their anxiety and enhances the harmonious atmosphere of the family.

When parents clear the obstacles to their children's pursuit of love, as an instinctive product, love will naturally occur, and children will also have the opportunity to steadily stick to the path of living their own life and move towards excellence little by little.

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