If you want to live happily after marriage, you have to screen carefully before marriage. Here are 10 points that you must understand.
First, enjoy the single life first. Love and marriage are icing on the cake, not a blessing in disguise. Equal marriage is worth pursuing.
Second, marriage is an adult's choice. It's not child's play, when you're not financially independent and mentally immature, don't rush to start a family, because marriage is not only a commitment, but also a responsibility.
Thirdly, marriage means the union of two families. If your parents strongly oppose the marriage, you must think twice.
Fourth, don't expect men to be better for you after marriage. If he can't do it before marriage, there is basically no hope after marriage. Especially for those guys who didn't have any responsibilities before marriage, can you still expect him to have a 360-degree transformation after marriage? The odds are slim to none. Marriage does need to be run-in, but the three views are not the same, and the personality is different, how to run in?
Fifth, money in marriage is crucial. Marriage is based on economic relations, not pure love. Of course, love is also very important, but if there are economic problems and the two cannot reach a consensus on the economic relationship, then no matter how good the marriage is, it is just a castle in the air.
Sixth, all kinds of setbacks and conflicts before marriage, such as bride price, house and other issues, are all sending you a signal, you have to think about it carefully. There is nothing more tragic than marrying the wrong person, and there is nothing more costly than marrying the wrong person and having his children.
Seeing this, are you sober? For marriage, we can't just see the beauty of love and ignore the responsibility of reality. But a good marriage is also worth cherishing. If you have doubts about your marriage, or want to save a relationship, you can ask your sisters who are happily married.
Of course, you can also come to me for help, I will use professional psychological knowledge to help you understand yourself, improve yourself, change yourself, and make you the master of your own life.
Seventh, don't think that if you don't want anything, the man will die for you in the marriage. If you only want his emotional value in marriage, then in the end you will find that those fishing girls are more chic than you. Emotional value is inherently cheap and volatile, and it may bring you freshness when you are in love, but it cannot be your reliance in marriage. In marriage and love, the relationship between the sexes is actually an equivalent exchange of value. Men value women's true colors, survival values, and reproductive values, while women usually value men's economic values, survival values, and ability values.
In the early stages of their marriage, the two may come together because of their equal values. But over time, if one of them is worth more than the other, the one with the higher value is likely to abandon the one with the lower value. Of course, if both parties remain the same in the marriage, then there are bound to be problems in the relationship. In order to maintain the stability of the relationship, both parties need to maintain a balance of value exchange. This means that you not only have to give the man more than just his emotional value, but also give you leverage in other areas, such as finance, resources, etc. Only in this way can the stability of the exchange of values between you be ensured, otherwise only betrayal and harm will await you.
Eighth, don't marry for love. Love has a shelf life, and although a frenetic, deep relationship can last up to four years, if you want to always maintain passion, you have to find a new marriage. You can't live without love, but you can't love too much, and everything should be done in moderation. fell in love and couldn't extricate himself, and in the end he could only be wronged. In a relationship, the deeper the love, the more it hurts. In fact, love and marriage are two different things, and whether a happy marriage is happy or not has little to do with love. Many people put the blame on marriage just to make excuses for their failed lives. What is love? To put it mildly, love is a heroic dream in a tired life. In essence, love is a poetic expression of the procreational impulse. Marriage is neither a continuation of love nor a grave of love, it has nothing to do with love. The essence of marriage is to resist risks and share risks.
The Marriage Law can be summed up in four words: how to divide money. It is about how the spouses divide their property in various situations. Marriage is a kind of institution, a kind of economic relationship, a contract between two people to cooperate for a win-win situation, resist risks, and spend the rest of their lives together, and it is the result of the game between human instinct and human civilization in the long process. Remember, don't interfere too much in your in-laws' family affairs, and learn to pretend to be deaf and dumb and ignore them. Let them solve their own affairs and not get too involved.
Always remember that you are you and they are them. Only then will your life be happier. In marriage, don't interfere too much and spy on your wife.
Ninth, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. After all, there are no perfect people in real life. So, don't expect too much from your marriage. Love is a flower, but marriage must always remember one criterion, that is, firewood, rice, oil and salt. No matter who you spend the rest of your life with, there will be stumbles over the years. Marriages that pursue spiritual harmony often end in separation. And couples who can see the reality clearly and live together live together end up mostly reunited, harmonious and beautiful.
Tenth, always remember that security can only be given to oneself. A woman's sense of security comes from self-reliance in life, self-love, and the string of numbers that belong to her in the bank card. Pay more attention to yourself, don't always stare at your significant other. He's like sand in your hand, the tighter you grip it, the faster he'll slip away.
If you still have emotional questions, please come and talk to me.