Five years ago, in front of the civil and military forces of the Manchu Dynasty, I rejected the proposal of Jing Rong, the champion of the military of the Dynasty.
In a blink of an eye, she married a famous playboy in Beijing and became his ninth concubine.
Jing Rong became the laughing stock of the whole capital, and since then he has gone to the border.
When we met again five years later, he was General Jing Xiao, who was famous in the capital.
I was a scarred and lame prostitute who was thrown to fend for herself in Flower Street.
He rode on horseback and provoked me in the face with the tip of his gun.
"Fu Yunong, if everyone can do it, then I, why can't I?"
1
I never thought I'd ever see that person again in my life.
At that time, I was stripped of my coat by someone sent by Lin Cheng and pressed against the threshold of Flower Street.
I don't know how many times this has happened, but I still feel sick from the bottom of my heart.
I gritted my teeth and resisted desperately, but I was punched in the stomach.
I curled up in pain.
After a mouthful of blood was spat out, the scene in front of me began to blur.
Maybe...... I'm finally going to die.
When I closed my eyes, my heart was full of long-awaited relief.
But just before I was completely unconscious, the young man's face resurfaced in my mind.
"Yuenong, life is the most important thing, as long as you live, there is always a way out for big things......
Warm tears welled up in my eyes, and I sobbed uncontrollably.
"Yo, look, doesn't this little slut pretend to be dead?"
The insults, the ridicule, the humiliation, once again surrounded me.
I slowly lowered my refusal hand, waiting for the heart-rending pain and humiliation, as I had done countless times before.
It's all ...... Retribution.
It's just that I didn't wait for that pain, and the weight on my body suddenly disappeared.
Amid the screams of a crowd of people, I opened my eyes.
The face that I thought about all night was reflected in my eyes.
He's darker, and he's stronger......
Really, he has grown into a man who stands tall in the sky......
I rolled over and fell to the ground and laughed like I was stupid.
When did you dare to have such a dream?
That person, who has hated me for a long time, how could he come to me?
How could it be...... Help me get rid of the bad guys like you did before?
I laughed and burst into tears, waiting for the illusion to disappear, but the man's face grew darker and darker.
The person who had been beaten out by him with a stick finally got up from the ground and rushed towards him cursing.
However, before he could reach him, he was put on his neck by two soldiers.
The sound of the blade unsheathed made my eyes widen in shock.
I forgot to breathe for a moment, and all that was left in my eyes was the man who was getting closer and closer to me on a tall horse.
He frowned all the time, and looked at me with extremely complicated eyes.
After a few moments of wanting to speak, his deep and hard voice finally came.
"Fu Yuenong, is this the good day you asked for?"
I woke up from a dream, and I hurriedly covered my face with my hands and struggled to get up.
2
The person who was caught on the side seemed to finally recognize him, and let out two yin and yang weird laughs.
"Who does the master think it is, isn't this our General Jing? What's the matter, come to you to be good friends and continue the front edge?"
Jing Rong ignored him and stared at me with a wrong eye.
"I really didn't expect that General Jing would be so affectionate, and he would still be thinking about this broken flower and willow, but it's a pity that people would rather be concubines than marry you-ah-"
Jing Rong winked, and the person he brought immediately punched the man in the face and gagged his mouth with a cloth.
The people who watched the excitement around were too scared to laugh anymore.
I had put on my coat with shaking hands, and was half-kneeling and half-crawling to escape from this place.
Jing Rong refused to let me go, and his gun was on my chin.
I shuddered and closed my eyes.
Just when I thought he was going to kill me to vent my anger, I heard his voice come with some annoyance.
"Fu Yuenong, if everyone really can, then I, why can't I?"
I froze and looked up at him in disbelief.
His eyes, so aggrieved, maybe a little ...... Deplored.
I don't know, I can't believe it......
He didn't wait for me to answer for a long time, and dismounted in anger.
Drop a bag of silver, pick me up and leave.
I finally realized that he was going to take me away......
I screamed in my hoarse voice, struggling desperately for him to put me down.
No way...... Not really!
I can't go with him!
"Fu Yuenon!"
"Don't! No! Put me down! Please, Aron—"
I screamed with a crying voice and slowed him down.
But he only paused, and continued to stride forward.
No matter how hard I struggle, I won't stop.
I think I should be harder, more resolute.
Instead of—like now, he struggled twice as if he were pretending to do so, and then shuddered and hugged his neck tightly......
However, I really didn't have the strength anymore, and my abdomen, which was already like a knife, hurt even more after I relaxed.
I pressed my face close to his chest, and the sound of my heartbeat reached my ears again.
3
While scolding myself for being mean, I couldn't help but stick closer to him.
I thought, let him be......
To kill and fight, as long as he is happy......
But he didn't kill me.
When I woke up, I found myself lying on a warm mattress with a group of doctors gathered around the bed.
Jing Rong, whose face was pale, stood on the outermost side with his arms crossed, looking out the window with an irritated expression, as if he didn't care about my life or death at all.
If you ignore the eyes that drift to me from time to time......
A group of people told him about my health with trembling voices.
New injuries and old injuries are stacked, and there are a bunch of internal and external injuries, because they can't be cured for too long.
With every word, his face became gloomy.
In the end, he said, "You have to give her the best medicine," and sent everyone away.
I hurriedly closed my eyes and clenched my hands into fists under the covers.
After a long silence, he finally sighed.
"Does it work to play dead?"
……
"Open your eyes and talk."
I took a deep breath and looked at the past as if I were dead.
He was a little confused, and asked, "You, aren't you married to Lin Cheng?" Why is it in ...... What kind of place?"
I gritted my teeth and tried to stop the trembling, but to no avail.
I trembled more and more, and the whole quilt shook with it.
He frowned and pressed my shoulder, rubbed the corner of his forehead with one hand, and sighed helplessly, "Forget it, if you don't want to say it—"
"He doesn't want me anymore."
I interrupted him, and after a moment of silence, he continued:
"What about your injuries?"
I bit my lip, "The guest got it."
He finally fell silent, tucked the corners of the quilt for me, sat down on the edge of the bed, and stopped looking at me.
4
I burst into tears and choked up, saying, "Ah...... General Jing, you shouldn't have brought me back, others will laugh at you......
When he heard this, a wry smile appeared on his face.
"Laughing at me? Am I being laughed at for the first time?"
Immediately, he turned to look at me, and said viciously:
"I tell you, I'm going to get revenge on you! You'd better not die until I'm done venturing!"
He got up and left, leaving me alone, letting the tears flow over the ugly scars burned by the candlelight.
Five years ago, the high-spirited Jing Rong overwhelmed the crowd in the martial arts arena and became the youngest martial champion of Daqi.
What is the look of a nineteen-year-old boy who loves someone?
No one knows better than me.
When His Majesty asked him what he wanted, he looked at me like that and knelt down in front of the eyes of all people.
"Dare to do it, please ask Your Majesty to marry your beloved!"
"Oh? Does Jing Aiqing already have someone who is in love with each other?"
He walked out into the crowd and slowly took my hand.
My face turned pale, and his hand was trembling slightly.
He just thought I was nervous and gave me a big smile.
"Your Majesty, this is what the courtiers love—"
I broke free of his hand and threw myself to my knees, "Your Majesty! The people's daughter and the champion have no friendship, the people's daughter, the people's daughter's beloved, is, yes - Lin Xiangye's son, Lin Cheng......"
It was difficult to say this, and I couldn't say it a few times intermittently, but when I saw Lin Cheng, who had just lost to Jing Rong, who had just lost to Lin Cheng with a sneer, I knelt up straight and stabilized my voice.
There was a commotion on the field, and even His Majesty frowned at this farce.
Jing Rong squatted in front of me helplessly, his hands trembling and holding my shoulders, "Yuenong, what are you talking about? Is someone threatening you? You—"
I waved his hand away, "Master Zhuangyuan, why are you bothering? Now that you are a nobleman, what kind of person do you want, you must not be stupid!"
I didn't dare to look him in the eye, so I could only force myself to say cruel things, but......
I can't bear it, I really can't bear it, I can't bear to humiliate him, I can't bear to see him lose face in public, I can't bear to ...... Look at his teary eyes.
I kowtowed heavily, "Your Majesty, please enlighten Your Majesty, the daughter of the people...... The status is low, and I really don't dare to be delusional!"
Jing Rong froze in place, his lips trembled, and he wanted to hold my hand but I threw it away again and again.
His Majesty's face was already unhappy, and he asked in a deep voice, "Oh? Don't dare to think about Zhuangyuanlang, but dare to say that you are happy with Lin Gongzi?"
Jing Rong immediately knelt down to defend me, saying that I was just unintentional.
However, at this time, Lin Cheng stood up, and he said with a smile, It is true that he has already made a lifelong agreement with me, and he wants to ...... Take me back and be a concubine.
5
Jing Rong was suddenly furious, regardless of His Majesty's presence, he directly grabbed Lin Cheng's collar.
"You're looking for death! How dare you humiliate her?"
Lin Cheng laughed arrogantly, and shouted defiantly: "Oh, Zhuangyuan Lang lost his honor in front of the emperor, what should he be guilty of?"
A group of Imperial Forest soldiers drew their swords and aimed at Jing Rong.
I was full of heart and gall, ignoring Lin Cheng's threatening eyes, and grabbed Jing Rong's arm.
"Master Zhuangyuan, don't you want to die?"
But his eyes were red, and he still refused to let go.
I gritted my teeth and wiped the tears from my face and gave him a sneer.
"Jing Rong, you are so entangled, do you want to force me to die? I don't like you, I've been playing with you all the time! From beginning to end, I only liked Lin Gongzi!"
Everyone saw me with a thin face, and no one saw my palms with my fingernails pinched under my long sleeves.
I stared into Jing Rong's gradually distracting eyes and gave him the final blow.
"What are you? Even if I make Lin Gongzi a concubine, I won't marry you!"
……
The rest of the story is too chaotic, or maybe it's because I have lost my perception of the outside world, in short...... I don't remember exactly.
I only remember that Jing Rong knelt on the ground in despair.
In the crowd, all kinds of eyes were cast, happy, contemptuous, sympathetic......
The young man, who had just turned nineteen, spoke in a deep voice to the monarch sitting on the dragon chair:
"Minister...... The emperor is out of order, and he doesn't dare to ask for grace anymore, but I only hope that His Majesty will be gracious and let his ministers go to guard the border to atone for their sins!"
He left like that, and he didn't come back once for five years......
I forced him away!
I curled up under the covers, biting my lip, and soon I tasted a hint of blood on the tip of my tongue.
I didn't realize it, and I couldn't come back to my senses in self-blame.
Until...... Jing Rong ripped off my quilt.
He held a steaming bowl of medicine in his hand and looked at my bleeding lower lip in shock and sadness.
"You, you! Do you hate me that much? Obviously I didn't do anything! Why are you doing this?"
He put the medicine next to the bed and looked at me with red eyes.
I shook my head eagerly, but I couldn't say a word of justification.
6
It was still rumored that a colleague had come to visit outside the door to break such an embarrassing situation.
I lay on the bed, thinking about his injured look, as if my heart had been cut by a knife, and finally gritted my teeth and struggled to get up, deciding to go to him and explain it.
I don't hate him...... I just, hate myself.
When the people outside the door saw me come out, they were shocked but still very polite.
He took me to the side hall and said that Jing Rong was meeting friends and would come to me later.
While I was clutching my stomach in a daze, I suddenly heard a fierce quarrel.
"General, you must send her away! You, you're really confused, it's not worth it for a woman like that!"
"Second Brother Li, this is my private matter, please don't ask about it."
"A private matter? Do you know how those old foxes in the capital arrange you now?
"We've followed you from birth to death for so many years, do we want to watch you lose your reputation as a ruthless and unrighteous prostitute?"
"Great! I said it was my private business!"
"But ......"
I can't listen to the other words, and my mind is full of Jing Rong and because I have become a laughing stock in the officialdom......
I don't know how I limped out of the General's Mansion.
Perhaps, Jing Rong did not instruct people to restrict my freedom at all.
I walked in one direction until I came back to my senses and realized that I had come to that ...... A long-dilapidated martial arts training ground.
The withered grass had already buried the entrance to the martial arts field, and the bustling crowd inside had long since disappeared.
It turns out that this place, which carries most of my pain and joy, has become as dilapidated as my life......
I covered my face and knelt on the ground sobbing when I heard a familiar voice.
"Who's there?"
For a moment, I fell into an ice cave......
Lin Cheng...... Lin Cheng!
I didn't care about anything else, so I turned and ran, but he was already behind me.
"You—Moon Slave?"
With a hint of surprise in his voice, he eagerly grabbed my arm and dragged me over.
His smile paused at the sight of the scar on my face.
Then, he sneered, "Is it really you? Didn't I hear that your Aaron took you away? Why, he thinks you're dirty, doesn't he want you?"
His voice was full of malice, and he chuckled close to my ear.
"Or is it — that he discovered your secret?"
I was so angry with him that I raised my hand to hit him, but he restrained me.
"Still so angry? Hehe, you know what-
"When I came here today, I wondered, can I meet my moon slave? After all, I want to die of you......
I got goosebumps from his disgust, and I kicked and punched him with all my might, but he still crushed me in the haystack.
7
"Lin Cheng! I'll kill you! I'm going to kill you!"
"Oh, yes, if you have the ability."
Those nightmarish memories swept over me, and in extreme fear, I bit down hard at the base of my tongue.
Lin Cheng immediately sensed that something was wrong and pinched my chin with one hand.
"You're really crazy? You—"
An arrow grazed his shoulder.
He and I looked over at the same time and found Jing Rong standing in the distance, full of murderous aura.
I bit it very hard, and although I didn't bite off my tongue at this time, it was bleeding.
The blood ran down the corner of my mouth......
"Tsukino!"
Jing Rong kicked Lin Cheng away and picked me up in a panic.
Lin Cheng stood in place, lowering his head and not knowing what he was thinking, but he didn't even entangle.
"Yuenong, you spit out the blood, don't choke."
Jing Rong sweated profusely, touched my face, and forced me to spit out the blood.
I stubbornly turned my face away and refused to look at him.
"Fu Yuenon! I'm begging you, don't be like this, okay? Spit out the blood! You're going to die!"
He forcefully forced me to relent.
"You, let's go, I'll go......
"Tsukino...... What is it for? Don't lie to me and say it's for Lin Cheng! You struggled like that just now, it clearly doesn't look like you love him, what are you for?"
"You, let me go! Otherwise, I will bite my tongue and kill myself......
He still burst into tears, and asked in a choked voice, "You are not even afraid of death, what are you afraid of?" Why didn't you tell me?"
I refused to answer, and looked into the distance as if to escape.
Jing Rong finally compromised, "Okay, don't seek death...... When your injuries are healed, I will let you leave the General's Palace."
But when I turned my head to look at him, I clearly saw a pair of eyes full of pain and unwillingness......
After I went back, Jing Rong still invited a bunch of doctors to come to see me every day, but he never showed up again.
Just when I thought he was finally tired of me, he sent another thing.
A ...... Hairpins made of wood.
"Girl, the general has not been back to his house for the past few days, and I heard from the steward that he was out investigating a particularly important matter."
"The general said that he was afraid that the girl would think too much and hurt her mind, so he specially asked her to send this gift to the girl, and I hope that the girl will take good care of her and be relieved."
I looked down and saw that the lines on the hairpin, which were not complicated, had been completely smoothed out, and I don't know how many times I had rubbed it in my hand.
As I took it with my hand, I felt a shallow dent.
Month, my—name.
Perhaps, it's not my name.
My real name is Fu Qinghe.