Many women, after getting married, are made difficult by their parents-in-law everywhere, and no matter how well they do, they will not be satisfied.
Some women work hard to make their in-laws' families rich, but no one appreciates them, but they want to drive the women out.
There are also some women who are stupid and filial to their arrogant and unreasonable parents-in-law and hurt themselves.
As the saying goes: "If you are soft-hearted, everything is difficult, but if you are ruthless, everything will go well." ”
Women are weak, but mothers are strong. This is not only reflected in parenting, but also in dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and getting rich as husband and wife.
As a parent of the mother's family, there is no way to protect your daughter all the time, but you can tell your daughter about her experience in being a daughter-in-law. Help her daughter get out of the confusion of family affection and form a big pattern of housekeeping.
It is recommended that after the daughter gets married, no matter how good the family is, she should also ask her mother-in-law to give "three things".
01
"Divide the family in time", don't always eat a big pot of rice.
It is said that it is not a family, and it is not a family.
In fact, if you enter a family, you are still not a family.
There are great differences between people's three views and habits. No matter how rich the family is, even if it is a daughter-in-law, don't worry about anything, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are together every day, there will definitely be conflicts.
For a large family, several brothers and several concubines eat in the same pot, which is often a lot of trouble.
How do you share this living expenses? Who will be accommodated to the taste of eating? If you have a child, who will take care of it, and who will keep it safe? When sleeping, everyone is in different rooms, but the lights out time is different, and the sound of muttering and talking is constant, which is also annoying.
In the "Historical Records", it is said: "A foot of cloth can still be sewn; A bucket of millet is still acceptable. The two brothers are incompatible. ”
Brothers can't accommodate each other and tolerate each other, and this concubine and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't do it even more.
In a big family, most of the mother-in-law is in charge, and it is inevitable that she will favor one over the other, and she will be unable to do it. When she meets a strong mother-in-law, her daughter-in-law will have a hard time.
Lu You of the Song Dynasty, after getting married, had a good relationship with his wife Tang Wan, but Lu You's mother thought that "the love of children is long, and it will delay the work", and forced Lu You to divorce his wife on the grounds that Tang Wan did not have children.
No matter how loving the husband and wife are, they can't stop the "arrogance" of the mother-in-law.
As for men, at a critical time, there will be a problem: the wife and mother, who will save first if they fall into the water at the same time? This is an unsolvable question.
According to the law of family development: "The tree is divided, and the family is divided." "The separation of this family and the formation of several small families is the real prosperity.
When the daughter married into her in-law's family, she immediately proposed to divide the family. From then on, the husband and wife will live quietly, and on the other hand, the daughter will become the family. As the parents of the mother's family, you should explain in advance.
Keeping a distance between people makes relationships better. This mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the same, don't treat your mother-in-law as a mother.
02
"The rules of bringing a baby", don't let your mother-in-law interfere with the small family.
In the years after marriage, a woman becomes a mother. At this moment, the mother-in-law came to help take care of the baby, which is a reasonable and good thing.
Now, many women go to work and are not full-time wives.
While going to work, taking care of the baby is really hard. If you ask a babysitter, don't worry.
The mother-in-law is coming, and the woman can easily get up. That's the idea on the surface. Considering it at a deep level, if the mother-in-law arrives at her son's daughter-in-law's house, she has to intervene in everything, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and bringing the baby will also leave a bane.
As the saying goes, "There are no rules." ”
Before the mother-in-law took the baby, she discussed a few rules, which seemed ruthless, but in fact, it was for the long-term stability of the family. With a baby, it is often better for many years.
First, the cost of bringing the baby, the mother-in-law can spend a small amount of money for the baby, and the son and daughter-in-law can take care of the big money. For the mother-in-law from the countryside, the living expenses are borne by the son and daughter-in-law.
Second, the baby's education, the daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law are in charge, and the mother-in-law is only responsible for life.
Third, when encountering family conflicts, the mother-in-law tries not to intervene and not to take sides; The little family secrets are told everywhere, and the ugliness of the family is not publicized.
Fourth, during working hours, the mother-in-law takes care of the children, and on weekends, the son and daughter-in-law should take care of the children, and don't let the mother-in-law become a full-time nanny.
Fifth, the mother-in-law in the countryside goes to the city to take the baby, and the life of the father-in-law should be explained, so as not to let the father-in-law suffer alone.
Whatever is said at home, it will be easy to do. If you hide things, in the end, the paper can't hold the fire, and it will turn into big trouble.
03
"Plan to provide for the elderly", don't let your parents-in-law be desolate in their old age.
Usually, when a child gets married, the parents are still in their forties and fifties, and they are still alive and well, and they can do a lot of things.
But after more than ten years, my parents will be old and unable to work, and they are still facing the problem of pension costs.
If there is no pension plan, then parents will become "waiting for their children to support", which is certainly not a good thing for middle-aged children.
Middle-aged children, on the one hand, have to bear the children's tuition and living expenses, but also have to pay the living expenses of the old parents, and they also have a mortgage, these three have to pay for it, and the income requirements are very high.
In case of unemployment, this is even more difficult.
In contrast, if the old parents themselves can retire and have a certain amount of savings, they will not become a "financial burden" for their children.
When a woman arrives at her mother-in-law's house, she should ask, are her parents-in-law ready to provide for the elderly? Can I retire?
It is also too late for the parents-in-law to arrange retirement in time.
If you have a family with several brothers, you should discuss it together and figure out a solution. Instead of waiting for the parents to be too old to walk, they will pull each other and shirk their responsibilities.
No matter how well the children mix, this old man has no money in his hands, and he reaches out to ask for money every month, it must depend on his face. Or every generation, on their own, the most reliable.
04
Of course, as a mother-in-law, you should actively support and understand what your daughter-in-law asks.
There is a virtuous daughter-in-law in the family, and a daughter-in-law with a big pattern, which is the luck of the in-laws.
Mother-in-law should also see the fact that she has grown old, and don't always "be the master of the house and fight everywhere".
A blessing for a while is not a blessing; A long-lasting blessing is a blessing.
Everyone should remember that this marriage is not a ceremony, but the formation of a large family, divided into several small families.
A family, reciting the scriptures of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, family and everything is prosperous.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.