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In the long river of years, people have gone through the excitement of youth, the calmness of middle age, and finally entered the tranquility of old age. And when a wife dies, old age often changes dramatically. Many elderly people are beginning to become cautious in front of their children, and this change is poignant and worth pondering.
The fear of saying the wrong thing in front of their children is a concern for many elderly people. As they grow older, their contact with society gradually decreases, and older people may not be familiar with new ideas and popular topics. They are worried that their language will appear outdated and ignorant, and that there will be a generation gap and estrangement between them and their children. The image of the parent who used to know everything and talk eloquently in the process of their children's growth gradually became taciturn, and every sentence had to be carefully considered in their hearts before they dared to speak.
An old man once said with emotion: "Once I told my children about the hard years in the past, and wanted them to cherish their current life, but the children impatiently said that it was all the old yellow calendar. Since then, I have been very careful when I speak, for fear of upsetting them again. This is not an isolated experience, as the elderly are eager to communicate with their children and share their life experiences, but they are afraid of being resented by their children because of inappropriate expressions or inappropriate content.
Not daring to make demands on children is also a common mentality of the elderly. They are well aware that their children face tremendous pressures in the modern world, with busy work and trivial lives. The elderly feel sorry for their children and are unwilling to add additional burdens to them. Even some basic needs in life, such as being unwell and needing to go to the hospital, may choose to endure silently because they are afraid of affecting their children's work.
There is an elderly man who lives alone, the electrical appliances at home have been broken for a long time, but he has not told his children, and he tried to repair it, but he was accidentally injured. When the children were distressed and angry when they learned about it, they asked why they didn't say it earlier, but the old man just muttered: "I'm afraid of delaying your time, you are all busy." Behind this kind of reluctance to make demands is the deep love and understanding of the elderly for their children, but it also reflects their helplessness and helplessness in their hearts.
Fear of causing trouble to their children is an important reason why the elderly are cautious. They feel that they are no longer the breadwinner of the family, but the one who needs to be cared for. From sheltering their children from the wind and rain in the past to now worrying about being a drag on their children, this change of role has filled their hearts with unease.
An elderly man with a chronic illness, every time his children offered to take him for a follow-up, he always refused, saying that he could do it. In fact, he was afraid of causing trouble to his children in the cumbersome process of the hospital, and he was also worried that the cost of treatment would put pressure on his children's finances. This excessive self-sacrifice affects the quality of life of the elderly, and at the same time, it also deprives the children of the opportunity to fulfill their filial piety.
In such a state of mind, the old man became more and more lonely and humble. They have lost their spouses, their closest partners, and they dare not speak freely and express their needs in front of their children, and their inner emotions cannot be fully released and satisfied. In what was once a lively family gathering, the elderly may just sit silently, smiling and watching their children busy, but they seem to be out of the way.
Loneliness has become the norm in their lives. During the day, they guard their empty rooms, reminiscing about the good old days; At night, in the face of the silent darkness, the loneliness in my heart has nowhere to tell. Their world is getting smaller and smaller, so small that only one side of their own world remains. And this loneliness is not only physical solitude, but also spiritual isolation.
Humility is reflected in their denial of their own worth. They feel that they are old and useless, and can no longer contribute to the family, and even become a burden to their children. This self-deprecating mentality makes the elderly lose their due self-confidence and dignity.
However, we should recognize that this phenomenon is not immutable. As children, we need to pay more attention to the inner world of the elderly, and give them enough listening and respect. Take the initiative to communicate with them, listen to their stories and ideas, and make them feel that their words are still valuable.
Let's work together to create a warm and inclusive environment for seniors, so that their old age can be full of sunshine and care. Because every old man has used his youth and sweat to pay for us today, they deserve a good old age.