Wen | Ant-Man YiRen
"In the past few days, the story of Hangzhou translator Jin Xiaoyu's father and son has made countless people cry: the son is unfortunately ill, ordinary parents respect science, do not abandon, do not give up, with wholehearted love, in exchange for an outstanding translation genius." 」
In this sad story, countless netizens have seen the unswerving love of parents for their children, and seen the indomitable struggle between human will and fate.
In this family's struggle with the ups and downs of fate, I saw the essence of parents educating their children: not to solve parenting problems, but to relay."
The so-called relay, that is: acceptance + help.
01 Acceptance
His son Jin Xiaoyu was unfortunate at an early age and was blind in his left eye. In high school, he suffered from manic depression, was emotionally irritable, dropped out of school, smashed furniture and electrical appliances in his home, caused trouble everywhere when he was sick, and even committed suicide.
Father and mother despaired more and more, but again and again they guarded him, comforted him, and unconditionally caught his mania and destruction, and their wishes were gentle and simple: no study, no work, no family can be accepted, as long as the son lives.
02 Assist
Perhaps it is the fate of the tragic and compassionate, there is always a light that can penetrate endless pain.
His son, Jin Xiaoyu, passed the self-study exam and obtained a self-examination diploma from the Department of Foreign Languages of Zhejiang University. After his illness, he still maintained the habit of loving reading: his father Jin Zhiyong bought more than 200 books such as English, Japanese, ancient Chinese, and Go according to his requirements.
The father also spent a lot of money to buy a computer for his son at the most difficult time in the family to meet the needs of children to learn foreign languages and watch original movies.
His son, Jin Xiaoyu, became a talented translator after teaching himself a number of foreign languages. His father helped him receive, proofread, and send sample books.
The father is an assistant and a secretary, and becomes a lifelong friend of the child.
The love of parents, the help of parents, has made a genius translator.
03 Boosting is not control
Everyone aspires to be themselves, and while we hate that our children are not good, have we ever considered: Do most parents really respect their children's wishes in everything they arrange for their children?
Are the various interest classes arranged for children motivated by children's interests? Or is it to satisfy your anxieties?
Many times, the starting point of our work is not so much to help children, but to make children become robots that only know how to perform procedures: obedience is good.
Jin Xiaoyu's parents have done their respect and understanding for their children, do not abandon, do not give up, wholeheartedly help, and bring children love that cannot be destroyed.
And what about us: know your children well enough? Is there patience waiting for children to explore and perceive? Many times, it is not so much active help as it is a purposeful "control".
04 Cherish children
After raising a child, it seems that it has become a common thing to complain every day: the child is disobedient, the grades are not good, the work is procrastinating, and raising a baby is really a "difficult scripture"...
In front of the child, I always unconsciously boast: You say that homework is difficult to do, so why can so-and-so students take the test so well?
You look at how powerful so-and-so is...
Every day with our children, what we do the most is to be picky about our children: this is not good, that is not excellent.
We are not receptive to children, and there seem to be additional conditions for children's various kindnesses: after doing this homework, we can reward one hour of play Oh...
Compared with the ordinary and gentle acceptance of their children by Hangzhou parents, I feel that I have not done well enough and am ashamed of myself.
Children who chirp like birds, in the face of our accusations, picky, and even all kinds of insults on the head of the angry head, seem to be more generous and tolerant, and after a while they are happy to dance around you and turn in circles: how forgetful the child is, we are stingy and love to remember revenge, and we are also calculating with the child!
In the face of the child's unconditional acceptance of parents, I also deeply lamented: If the child can choose before birth, will I still have a chance?
How healthy our children are, how lucky we are.
Oh, what a blessing in disguise!
05 Face the problem and embrace the new life
In the era of developed information, we are accustomed to searching on the Internet to find answers. The process of parenting is like being eager to master one parenting knowledge after another, and quickly solve one parenting problem after another.
It's like pressing the key mechanically over and over again.
Maybe we're just used to enjoying the slightest bit of pleasure we get from solving parenting problems.
Only I have not seriously considered the cause of the problem: children are human beings, and children should be treated as human beings.
Treating children as adults, Presumably, they will realize that people's physical and mental growth is gradual, different ages, the ability to accept and process knowledge is different, and experience is slowly accumulated. Everyone is so different, instead of trying to "fast forward" in various ways, it is better to accompany with your heart, guide patiently, and wait for the flowers to bloom.
Such a boost must be more powerful.
In the movie "Dune", the Freyman people say: The mystery of human life is not to solve the problem, but to face your experience.
Love can give birth to a strong will, can withstand the heavy pressure of life. When we see such a warm story, we should not stop at moving.
Let us bring love, respect, love, communication, understand and support children, embrace new students, and continue to relay for the growth of children.