I like kids, but I don't need love.
In the cognition of the older generation, a family with children and partners is complete, but in recent years, the number of "single mothers" has gradually increased, and some of them are not divorced, but have not been married.
The "mixed-race triplet" mother Li Xueke, one of many "single mothers", 33 years old she worked alone to raise 3 babies, from pregnancy to now, the child's father has never appeared.
Not married but gave birth to 3 mixed-race babies, what kind of life does this model mother live?
Raising 3 children to think about it is not easy, this big family spends nearly 100,000 yuan per month, the children reach the age of kindergarten, Li Xueke also plans to send them to private kindergartens, 3 children need about 1 million yuan per year.
Such expenses are not to say that one person makes money, and many families and couples may not be able to make money together. But Li Xueke did it, she said that she can afford to raise 3 children now, even if the income is cut off in the future, the existing assets can raise 3 children to adulthood.
Li Xueke's current happiness and scenery have made many people envious, but few people know how much she has paid behind her back.
Fearing that her actions would be subjected to gossip, she quietly ran to an unfamiliar city to give birth. After giving birth to the baby for a while, she was also tormented by postpartum depression, facing 3 children crying together, feeling like a feeding machine.
But later Li Xueke found that the people in the circle of friends were actually very envious of her, and she gradually adapted to the change of identity and the changes in life, and slowly got out of the anxiety.
My own conditions are not bad, why choose to be a single mother?
Li Xueke had a very stable job before she was pregnant with a baby, because her figure was good and her appearance was not low, and she began to work in Shanghai at the age of 17, when her monthly salary was already 20,000 yuan.
However, Li Xueke, whose work and career are relatively smooth, has a bumpy emotional road. She talked about several boyfriends and thought about marrying and having children with each other, but she felt that this was not the life she wanted, and eventually broke up.
Giving birth to a baby before the age of 30 is Li Xueke's life goal, but at the age of 29, her marriage still has no landing. Li Xueke very much wanted to have her own children, worried that it would be difficult to have children when she was older, so she secretly did IVF from her mother.
After a failure and more than 140 injections, she finally succeeded in conceiving a "Chinese-English mixed" baby, and was a triplet of two sons and a daughter.
Whenever a single woman chooses to do IVF, there will be all kinds of doubts, and Li Xueke has not been able to escape.
Li Xueke recalled that after she first posted her experience online, most of the people who supported her were women, and men's opposition was stronger.
Sugar Mom noticed that there was a question worth pondering: "The influence of the original family on Li Xueke, and what kind of native family she gave her children."
Only want to fall in love and do not want to get married, Li Xueke's choice has nothing to do with the original family
"You yourself grew up in a single-parent family, how can you bear to let your children be like you?" Too irresponsible", Sugar Mom saw that many netizens held this view. I didn't understand it at first, but after seeing Li Xueke's experience, I understood her psychology of doing so.
Li Xueke's parents divorced when she was 3 years old, she lived with her mother, and then went to her father's house to live for a while, did not feel the father's love, but was indiscriminately beaten by her father, since then Li Xueke has never returned, and has the psychology of breaking off the father-daughter relationship with her father.
I believe that everyone has heard such a sentence before, if the parents divorce, then the child's future marriage will not be too smooth. But after looking at too many real examples around her, sugar mother found that the factor that makes children afraid of marriage and divorce is not simply the marriage of their parents, but the parents' personality.
Dad is the image of "protective god" in the girl's heart, whether the parents are divorced or not, the "bad" father will affect the girl's perception of the opposite sex, and the same is true between mother and son.
Single parents with babies are very dashing, children without a father is really OK?
Why did Li Xueke lack fatherly love since childhood, but still made the choice of test tubes? She once lamented: "As long as I give my children enough love, it doesn't matter if I don't have a father around, my children will try to satisfy them financially and emotionally except for not having a father."
Without a father around the child, women are in a state of "both father and mother", and the pressure to raise a child is enormous. Although Li Xueke has economic strength, the process of raising a baby may not be as easy as it seems.
Many people envy women like Li Xueke, who have a successful career and economic independence, a free life, and have their own children and do not have to be angry with their other half. Not all single mothers can provide for 3 children alone, and not all women can afford to be seen by those around them after IVF.
Is it okay for a child to grow up without a father? It cannot be directly concluded that although there are many benefits to the father around, the irresponsible father and the father with a very poor personality will bring harm to the child.
Candy Mom has something to say:
Most women say that they envy Li Xueke, and finally silently pray to meet "good people" and find their own home. Because everyone knows that behind this kind of dashing is also bearing a lot. Everyone chooses a different lifestyle, Li Xueke chose not to marry and have a baby successfully, but there is no need to blindly follow her approach.