The cousin complained that his 10-year-old son had lied.
For example, once I saw a bruise on my sister's arm, and my sister said that my brother pushed it, but my brother didn't admit it, so I said that my sister fell on her own.
In fact, it is not a big deal, but the cousin firmly believes that his son is lying, so he also specially adjusted the monitoring of the living room. Then it was found that it was the brothers and sisters playing, and the brother accidentally pushed the sister, and the sister's arm hit the corner of the table.
For this reason, the child was beaten up by his cousin again.
The initiator of the child's bad disease is you, don't believe it, let's see
Have you also found that your children have a lot of bad problems?
Every time they see these bad problems of their children, are parents eager to correct their children immediately?
In fact, many times, if parents recall carefully, you will find that the initiator of many bad problems in children is you! Don't believe it, many times parents do not pay attention, a wrong way of education, a sentence, etc., will affect the child.
01 A child loves to lie, because you have overreacted to his mistakes
As far as his cousin is concerned, his education of boys is very strict. The cousin said that his son loves to lie, in fact, the child does not love to lie, but is afraid of being scolded, criticized, or disappointed.
I remember when my cousin and son were young, once accidentally overturned the rice bowl, and the cousin was angry, not only beat the child, but also punished him not to eat. So that time, the child stood at the dinner table, crying, and watched his cousin eat lunch. And this mistake has been repeated many times.
Children make mistakes, how do you deal with them?
Parents may be out of a bad mood, may be out of the desire for children's long memory, or out of impatience, if there is an overreaction, then the child will have a shadow on the "mistakes", afraid of making mistakes, and once again by the parents "extreme" treatment.
Lying is to avoid such extreme treatment.
When such children grow up, they are prone to lack of responsibility, and they are prone to becoming selfish. Because, they don't want to take responsibility for mistakes.
Therefore, the next time the child lies, don't blame the child first, but reflect on yourself first.
02 The child deliberately disturbs you because you give the child too little intimate interaction
A friend complained that his eldest daughter had already gone to kindergarten class, and often deliberately urinated in the living room, and his friend was so angry that he reprimanded his child every time.
In addition, the eldest daughter often came to pull her own clothes, and suddenly jumped in front of her and was bored to death.
It seems that it is all the fault of the eldest daughter, but in fact, the root of the mistake is still in the friend himself. Because the friend has a 2-year-old son, every day, the friend spends a lot of time with the younger son, and the eldest daughter is old and plays by herself.
That's the problem.
Children deliberately disturb their parents, deliberately make mistakes, etc., in fact, they want to attract the attention of parents, even if they are beaten and scolded in the end, it does not matter.
Children have such behavior, mainly because the "intimate interaction" that parents usually give to their children is too little, or that parents give their own intimate interactions to another child.
Lack of love, let the child crave love, crave intimate contact, crave interaction.
03 The child is not confident, but you give less encouragement and a lot of advice
The child's self-confidence is not completely brought out of the womb, but accumulated in daily life.
If the child is not confident, the child is also slowly worn out by the parents, and I have almost worn out the confidence of the Easter egg.
When The Easter Egg was 3 years old, he played with a large picture album and had a painting that the child needed to make his own eyes. The Easter egg picked up the material and was about to make it, but the Easter egg father felt that the Easter egg was so small that it could not be completed, so he said: "Daddy come, you are not doing it right, you should do it!" So I made his eyes.
Later, I drew the Easter egg not very much, and I drew a more similar one on the side.
Then, let the Easter egg play the big picture book, and the easter egg said, "I won't, Daddy come." "At that moment, I was angry. But the Easter egg mother on the side quickly found the problem, that is, I gave the child too little encouragement, but directly to him to complete, has been suggesting him how to draw, how to do.
When children accept this world, they have their own speed, and parents do not need their children to follow their own pace. Too much advice, too much criticism, too little encouragement, will only overwhelm the child. Parents have disrupted the rhythm of their children, so that children are afraid to do things, how can they be confident?
04 The child is timid, it is you who help too much, do not dare to let the child try and make mistakes
As parents, we all hope that our children can have a safe and smooth life. Then when the child is still young, we will help the child clear all the obstacles on the road, and only hope that the child's road is good.
However, parents always have a day when they can't sweep, and children always have a road that they go first and are not familiar with.
Parents help too much, do not dare to let the child try and make mistakes, then the child seems to be smooth, when exposed to new things, the child because of lack of experience and courage, so will choose to withdraw.
Easter egg father has always felt that children are to try and make mistakes, as long as the safety of children is guaranteed.
05 The child is reluctant to communicate with you, because you deny and criticize the child too much
This tells the story of The Easter Egg Daddy himself.
In my impression, my father has always been a very strict person, and even now that I am married, I am not very willing to talk to my father.
Because of what I did as a child, he denied me. I remember when I was in the 5th grade of elementary school, my essay was submitted to a magazine and praised by the whole school. I happily shared it with my father, but my father took a look at it and said, "This magazine is not famous, and the quality of the articles in it is average." ”
At that time, I felt a basin of cold water pouring down my head, from head to toe. Gradually, I didn't want to communicate with my father anymore, let alone share.
I sometimes think that if my mother hadn't always encouraged me, maybe I would have become a person with extreme inferiority! Because of my father's denial and criticism and my mother's encouragement, my daily relationship with my mother will be better and more communicative.
Although I knew that my father loved me very much, it still couldn't change the fact that I didn't want to communicate with him.
The mood of chatting and communicating is very important. The constant denial and criticism of parents will only push children farther and farther away.
Message
Children, like a blank piece of paper, his color is not only dyed by himself, many times, it is also as parents that we color them.
Many of the bad problems in our eyes of children are either not much of a problem, or caused by our parents, do you admit this?
Topic Discussion: What common bad problems do you think children have, which are caused by our parents? Welcome to share your parenting experience!