The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge it. The most important thing for anyone, in any situation, is to have the ability to think independently and distinguish between right and wrong.
Seeing the essence through the appearance and finding the focus of the problem in the first time can save you a lot of detours, and at the same time avoid a lot of unnecessary emotional consumption.
It's better to know what your problem is and just go for it than a fly without a head.
This is like a betrayal of a partner, and many people immediately or always struggle with whether or not to forgive him. But is this really the core issue? No, no, never. On the contrary, if you keep struggling, you will keep thinking and internal friction, and eventually avoid the real problem that you should solve.
Or your thinking will be completely biased, which will brew more unnecessary troubles and pains.
When a marriage is betrayed, the core question is whether to forgive or not? Many people are wrong!
- 1. Find your bearings.
When your marriage is betrayed, the first thing you have to do is to put the matter of forgiveness behind you and find your own direction.
What do you mean?
It's like you're walking on a road with a direction and a future, but as you walk, the road ahead suddenly collapses. You feel like you've lost everything in an instant and don't know where to go. This is also the reason why I am anxious and confused in the face of betrayal.
In the simplest terms, it means that you have preset a bright path for you and your future based on your partner's absolute loyalty.
In your mind, it seems that this is how it should be, with the absolute loyalty of your partner, to build a harmonious and beautiful future. This future is your direction, your goal, and the source of motivation that you have always insisted on.
However, when you are walking, an accident happens, and the path you have preset according to your partner's loyalty suddenly collapses, which is equivalent to your goal and direction.
So at this time, what you really need to do is to find your bearings.
You have to accept the betrayal and re-chart a goal or a path for yourself. Think about how your partner has betrayed you, but your life has to go on, so what is your next path.
Based on the betrayal of your partner, you can adjust and change your direction appropriately.
- 2. Heal your own state.
When you are in a normal state, you have no way to deal with this problem, how can you guarantee or be sure that you can solve this problem with the state that has already arisen in the problem?
I know that being betrayed by my most trusted and intimate partner is an unspeakable blow.
The first is the emotional and trust disappointment, including the bound future, as well as doubts about oneself. You feel like you're the worst person in the world, and there's no way to vent your frustration. What I worked so hard to manage and maintain, but it was destroyed so easily.
But I want to tell you, that's what you have to recognize.
A person will betray you, it never has anything to do with whether you are good or not, the biggest problem is not you, the person who should think and reflect should not be you.
He betrayed you, it's not your problem, it's just his nature.
So what you really need to do is stay away from the center of the storm in the first place, and you must not have any doubts about yourself. On the contrary, you have to be extremely sure of yourself, but he doesn't know how to cherish himself as a good woman.
Only by stabilizing one's state and calming down one's mood can one make a relatively rational decision.
- 3. Focus only on your own benefits.
For example, some women, when they are betrayed by their partners, they only care about venting their emotions at all, and don't care about their own actions and decisions, whether it is good for them.
On the contrary, they often fall into a more passive situation because of the catharsis like madness.
I'm telling you, betrayal is a realistic thing, what you need to do, is also reality. In the simplest way to understand, all your actions and choices must be good for yourself, or you have to do something good for yourself.
If there is no benefit, it can only play a cathartic role of emotions, and it is better to calm down first.
Let's take the simplest example.
Some women, after knowing about their husband's infidelity, immediately lose their minds and are in a state of madness, ignoring everything. So everyone knew about it.
Everyone knows that it is not terrible, as long as you insist on divorce, people around you will admire your bravery. The key is that after the trouble, you can't do without this person, and you have to live your life, whether you have made yourself a joke.
So you're going to do something that's good for you, what do you get by doing it, what's in your interest.
The answer to many things is not to come up with it, but to come out step by step. If you make a noise with you and can get the financial power of the family, then your noise is a good behavior.
If your benefits require you to swallow your anger, then you have to bow your head.
People have to be pragmatic, what do you do if there is no benefit? Is it idle and boring?
Therefore, the further you go, the more you will find that one's wisdom and spirituality are particularly important, and at the same time, it is necessary to absolutely avoid small things and absolutely follow pragmatism.
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