The dilemma of marriage and love between rural singles and urban leftover women: an intractable social problem
In this era of increasingly complex dating markets, a strange phenomenon has attracted people's attention: the rural singles are overcrowded, and the urban leftover women are crowded, but they are difficult to get together. What kind of social problems are hidden behind this seemingly simple imbalance between supply and demand? Let's explore this perplexing phenomenon.
The distress of rural singles
When it comes to rural singles, many people may have a not-so-glorious image in their minds: they are not young and unmarried, their economic conditions are poor, and they have nothing to do all day. But the reality is far more complex than this stereotype.
Xiao Li is 35 years old this year and is a well-known bachelor in the village. He told reporters: "I also want to find a partner, but the young girls in the village are gone, and the rest are either married or unwilling to marry in the countryside." "Xiao Li's experience is not unique. With the acceleration of urbanization, a large number of young people from rural areas have migrated to cities, and fewer and fewer young people of school-age have stayed in rural areas.
In addition to the problem of "difficult to find a daughter-in-law", rural singles are also facing huge social pressure. In the traditional concept, a man's failure to marry is regarded as "unfilial", and it often becomes a topic of conversation among the villagers after dinner. This invisible pressure makes many rural singles feel anxious and depressed.
The troubles of leftover women in the city
Compared with rural singles, the situation of urban leftover women seems to be glamorous, but in fact it is secretly bitter.
Xiao Zhang is an executive of a large company with an annual salary of one million. It stands to reason that it should not be difficult to find a partner with such conditions. But at 36 years old, she is still single. "It's not that I don't have no chase," Xiao Zhang said, "but it's hard to meet the right one." Some people think I'm too strong, and some people feel too stressed. "
"High-quality leftover women" like Xiao Zhang are not uncommon. They tend to be well-educated and successful in their careers, but they have difficulties in choosing a mate. On the one hand, their vision and requirements are high, and it is difficult to find someone who is satisfied in all aspects; On the other hand, some traditional-minded men find it difficult to accept women who are better than themselves.
In addition, society's prejudice against "leftover women" has also brought a lot of pressure to them. "Every time I go home for the Chinese New Year, my relatives ask me when I will get married, as if not getting married is a failure in life." Xiao Zhang said helplessly.
Why can't we go together?
Since rural singles and urban leftover women are facing the problem of choosing a mate, why can't they make a couple? This may seem like a simple question, but in fact there are many complex factors involved.
One is the huge difference in lifestyle. City girls are accustomed to modern life and have difficulty adapting to rural living conditions. And when rural guys come to the city, they often feel out of place. This difference in living habits and culture often becomes a barrier between the two people.
The second is the conflict of values. Urban women generally pursue equal and independent marital relationships, while rural men may be more inclined to traditional husband and wife roles. This difference in values can easily lead to constant conflicts after marriage.
Third, the disparity in social status and economic conditions is also a factor that cannot be ignored. Although modern society emphasizes the freedom of marriage, the concept of "matching the family" is still deeply rooted. Some urban women worry that marrying into rural areas will reduce their quality of life, while rural men may be afraid to pursue urban women because of their low self-esteem.
Finally, the lack of effective communication channels is also an important reason. Rural singles and urban leftover women live in two almost parallel worlds, and rarely have the opportunity to really get to know each other. Even if you want to try, you often don't know where to start.
The way to break the game
In the face of this complex social problem, we need to find solutions at multiple levels.
1. It is necessary to break the dual structure of urban and rural areas and narrow the gap between urban and rural areas. Only by bringing the living conditions and opportunities in rural areas closer to those in cities can we fundamentally solve the problem of marriage troubles among young people in rural areas.
2. The transformation of the traditional concept of marriage and love should be strengthened. Whether it is discrimination against "leftover men and women" or the stereotype that "men are strong and women are weak", they need to be changed gradually through education and guidance.
3. The government and social organizations can build more platforms for urban and rural youth exchanges. For example, organizing urban-rural friendship activities, or developing special marriage and love apps, etc., to create more opportunities for rural singles and urban leftover women to get to know each other.
4. Each of us should look at marriage and love with a more open and inclusive mind. Whether it is a city girl or a rural guy, you should think outside the box and give people from different backgrounds a chance. Perhaps, when we let go of prejudices, we will find unexpected fate.
The problem of singles in rural areas and leftover women in cities reflects the predicament of marriage in the whole society. There is no shortcut to solving this problem, and the whole society needs to work together to build a more open, inclusive and equal environment for marriage and love. Only in this way can we enable everyone, whether from urban or rural areas, to find their own happiness.