Jimu news reporter Xu Ying
Whenever there is clarity, nostalgia chases away. People can find the warmth and happiness of the past and the lives of their loved ones from nostalgia, and they will also re-appreciate the pain of parting. The Slovaks are gone, and the living relatives will continue to search for the meaning of life in their remembrance. In the face of parting, in the face of reluctance, choose to write it out, in psychology, this itself is also a process of self-healing.
Jimu News reporter selected several nostalgic books written by cultural celebrities for readers, Yang Dai's "The Two of Us", Zhou Daxin's "Requiem", Jing Yidan's "Bright Moonlight Before the Bed"... Their nostalgia for their husbands, daughters, sons, and mothers makes people cry when they read, but they also inspire people's lives. There is always an end to life, and in a finite life, what will be left? Life does not last forever, so when you have it, you should cherish it even more.
In the last days of companionship, even in the dark night, there is moonlight
"Bright Moonlight Before the Bed" tear-jerking clip ——
Mom was gone, at the age of 90, on the day of my 64th birthday.
On April 27, 2019, when this day came, I was in Sanya Ha Medical Dahongsen Hospital, and my mother was sleeping on the bed next to me, and I didn't know if my mother could wake up.
She had been in a coma for several days. Lung cancer had tormented her for a year and a half, and she had all kinds of pain, all kinds of struggles, and two critical illness notifications. And at this moment, deep breathing, ascites, exhaustion... It made me more and more uneasy. In the past, such a long period of coma had not yet passed, the doctor said, and there was not much time left.
In the early hours of the morning, I expected my mother to wake up, even if it was a short awakening.
I shake her hand, Mom occasionally gently shakes back, is this sober?
Or unconscious?
In the morning, the birthday noodles, silently laid out in front of me.
My brother and sister were always in the ward, and neither of us mentioned my birthday.
Unexpectedly, the little brother quietly cooked a bowl of noodles with an induction cooker, poached eggs among the green vegetable leaves, and the noodle soup steamed.
My tears dripped in the bowl.
The author says —
"Bright Moonlight Before The Bed" is a collection of essays on the memory of his mother launched by the famous host Jing Yidan during the Qingming Dynasty in 2020. The book delicately and affectionately describes Jing Yidan, as a daughter, thinking about life and family affection at her mother's bedside. It was getting dark, man, back to bed. In the moonlight before the bed, the author has a deeper understanding of how to look at the problem of life and death.
When Jing Yidan published this book, he was interviewed by reporters online. She said, "I hope that through this book, readers will feel our understanding of life and experience the different stages of life." Do we really understand the word life? "Jing Yidan feels that we grow up, in such a special course as life class, there are many missing things, so when we face the huge changes in life, we will use unprepared, suddenly, helpless, out of balance and so on. She said, "I hope we have more calmness in the face of life, I think it is a healthy attitude to life." ”
Jing Yidan said that the title of the book "Bright Moonlight before the Bed" was thought of in front of my mother's bed, and it was a very painful experience to accompany her in front of the bed, "At that time, I felt that my mother walked into the dark night little by little, but even in the darkest moment, there is light in the last stage of life, that is, moonlight." The five words "Bright Moonlight Before the Bed" suddenly reappeared in front of my eyes. ”
To write this book, the first thing is to complete her mother's instructions to her. Because Jing Yidan's mother is a person who is used to recording, when her mother is not able to record, let Jing Yidan do this. "Although the process of writing was painful, when I finally finished writing, I felt that I had completed a re-understanding of life and a soul dialogue with my mother."
Life is a process of dying, learn to say "goodbye" when saying goodbye
Zhou Daxin's "Requiem" tear-jerking clip ——
Dad, calm down and accept the facts. I have left the world, I will never be able to return to you and my mother, and the facts cannot be changed. You have to make yourself accept this result as quickly as possible, and your mind must adapt to the reality that I am no longer there. You and your mother should slowly recycle your feelings for me, change your original life expectations, and learn not to count me in when planning your life. You can't always be sad, complaining, and uncomfortable, that won't be good for you and your mother's health. Medicine has found that excessive grief increases the risk of heart disease and myocardial infarction, and you and your mom should be vigilant. Life is a process of dying, and the process of my life is just shorter. Shortening is not necessarily a bad thing, you think, if I live a few more decades, you have tasted the pain of survival pressure, the pain of supporting the family, the pain of life struggle, I will not have to taste them one by one? What's so bad about tasting less of life's pain? You can think of it this way: The other world also needs young people, and it is a favor of the god of heaven to let my son go early. You might feel better thinking that way. When people face the death of their loved ones, there are few who are uncomfortable, very few who can think through, and many who complain about the Creator, but they all have to calm down in the end. This is because, in the end, everyone admits that the Creator has truly done a fair job in the matter of death, that He does not take bribes from anyone, does not favor any selfish feelings, does not give anyone extra care, does not let anyone's cellular telomeres completely stop shortening, does not spare anyone from death, and everyone ends up in exactly the same way. The difference is only who arrives at the finish line early and who arrives late. Since we all have to reach the end, it must be better to arrive at the end late than to the end earlier? People of the same generation may arrive earlier than each other and who arrives later, and after a few generations, no one cares whether you arrive early or late. Want to open it, Dad. You said that you are not an ambitious and domineering man, not a man with power and power, not a man with money and grace, but a strong man, you should be strong now and support our family. When I was very young, you taught me the word "goodbye", now it's time for me to remind you to say "goodbye" to me, Dad, goodbye, please advise my mother to say "goodbye" to me too, goodbye, goodbye...
"Requiem" is a dialogue novel created by Zhou Daxin, first published in Contemporary, No. 4, 2012, and published by Writers Publishing House in August 2012. The novel consists of two parts: the first half is Zhou Daxin's recollection of the growth of his son Zhou Ning before his death, including the author's incomparably affectionate love and memory for his son, and the author's ruthless dissection and even hatred of the self; the second half is the dialogue between father and son after his son Zhou Ning entered the kingdom of heaven, with Zhou Ning's vision to draw out the philosophical thoughts and spiritual exercises in ancient and modern history of mankind. The novel presents Zhou Daxin's deep thoughts about his son, deep thoughts on the world, and enlightening significance for readers.
In 2022, Writers Press launched the 10th anniversary edition of Requiem, and the film of the same name adapted from Requiem is about to be released. At that time, the reporter contacted Zhou Daxin through the publishing house for an interview, and he said that the death of his son was still heartache when he brought it up, and the words he wanted to say were in "Requiem".
"The two of us" finally have a home, and the "two of us" are separated again
The moving clip of "The Two of Us" -
Since moving to the Three Mile River Apartment, we seem to have traveled a long way, and finally have a home, and we can settle down.
……
We watched our daughter grow, achieve, and be proud. But our "sharp soldier" is overloaded every day - according to the school's evaluation, her workload is two hundred percent, and I think it is more than that. In order to love and care for her students, she increases the burden indefinitely. For example, a student's graduation thesis, she often changed and ordered to redo. I used to ask her, "Can you steal a little laziness?" Can you please stop being so serious? She always shook her head. I could only secretly feel pain on the side.
Ah Yan is the masterpiece of my life, Chung Shu believes that it is "a material that can be made", and the "reading seed" in my father-in-law's mind. She went to high school to carry a dung bucket, went to the countryside factory after college, and after graduation, she put down four clears, nine steaming and nine roasting, but it was always just a seed, only a little bud. Parents can't be comfortable in their hearts.
Chung Shu's novel was changed to a TV series, and he suddenly became a celebrity. Many people came from afar to ask for a glimpse of Qian Zhongshu' style. He didn't want to be a strange beast in the zoo, so I had to guard the door to block him.
Every day he receives many letters from people he doesn't know. I once asked a great writer whether to respond to a reader's letter. It is said that he receives a large number of letters every day, so how can he reply to them one by one? But Chung's first thing every day is to write a reply, which he calls "paying off debts." He wrote quickly, and in a moment he paid off the "debt" and "cleared it". This is a polite thank you to the letterer. But the debt is always unpaid; it is repaid today, and it is owed tomorrow. The letters also caused unexpected trouble.
He does not seek fame, but he cannot escape the troubles and troubles of celebrities. If he had no name, how quiet we would be!
There is no such thing as a novel or a fairy tale: "From now on, they will always live happily together." ”
There is no simple happiness in the world. Happiness is always accompanied by troubles and worries.
There is no eternity in the world. We had a rough life, and in the twilight years we had a place to settle down. But old and sick, we have come to an end on the road of life.
Grandma Zhou had already returned home from illness. Chung shu was admitted to the hospital in the summer of 1994. I went to see him every day, delivered food, delivered vegetables, and delivered soups and water. Ah Yan was admitted to the hospital in the winter of 1995, at the foot of the West Mountain. I talk to her on the phone every night and go to see her every week. But when the hospital met, they could only rush to the side. The three of them lived in three separate places, and I could also be a liaison officer, often passing on messages.
In the early spring of 1997, Ah Yan died. At the end of 1998, Chung Shu died. The three of us were lost. It was so easily lost. "The good things in the world are not firm, and the clouds are easy to scatter and the glass is brittle." Now, I'm the only one left.
I soberly saw that the apartment that used to be "our home" was just an inn on the road. Where home is, I don't know. I'm still looking for a way back.
"The Two of Us" was written by Mr. Yang Dai at the age of 92, and it recounted her life with her husband and daughter and a family of three like a trickle. After reading it, there will be a slight sadness, but it is full of the warmth of life. "The Two of Us" was published in 2003 by the Life, Reading, and New Knowledge Triptych Bookstore, and it was popular throughout the country. The book is divided into two parts. In the first part, the author, with his usual wisdom and unique brushwork, uses the form of dreams to tell the emotional experience of a family of three living together in the last few years. The second part records the little-known ups and downs of the family in 63 years from 1935 when they went to england to study in England and loved their daughter in Oxford until the death of their husbands in 1998.
In 1997, Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu's only daughter, Qian Zhen, died. In 1998, Mr. Qian Zhongshu passed away. In 2016, Yang Dai died of illness and left this world calmly, and "the two of us" were finally reunited.