No one has to spend their entire life seeking healing
When you regain your inner strength
You can be your most resilient "healer"
Since then, early life experiences and childhood trauma
It will no longer be an obstacle, but nutrients and soil
part.01
Unwavering optimism
The attitude chosen by the resilient healer is: "I will not be defeated by the past, I will keep my dreams alive, and I will continue to find joy no matter how difficult the day is."
The staunch optimist says, "If I keep doing my best, things will improve; If I keep looking, there is no doubt that I will find a way to build a better and more enjoyable life. ”
part.02
Deregulation
Whether it's physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, spiritually, or temporally, it feels great to live in our control.
Optimism motivates us to act constructively in these areas and to enjoy the resulting sense of control.
However, life is unbalanced, and there will definitely be circumstances beyond our control.
When this happens, let go of those controls and I'll go with the flow: I'll accept things I can't control and change or fix them right away. ”
patr.03
Allow for experience
Resilient healers acknowledge the pain they experience.
Seeing and acknowledging those wounds is a prerequisite for all healing
However, they do not resist frustrating negativity, especially in times like these, and they see it as an opportunity to understand themselves better, to heal themselves, and to be as gentle as possible with themselves.
part.04
Intrinsic, unshakable value
Resilient healers always remember that nothing – whether it was their childhood or recent treatment, whether it was a physical imbalance or an economic challenge – would change their fundamental worth and potential as a human being.
During difficult times, they may remind themselves:
I'm still a worthy person;
I choose to love myself and respect myself;
I'm in the process of learning and growing, just like everyone else. ”
part.05
A long-term view of suffering
"Harm is guidance."
Suffering is not all bad, it can help us realize that we can survive in very difficult situations.
Tough days make us feel compassion for ourselves and those who are suffering similarly.
For example, a survivor who was brutally abused in his childhood vows to avoid his parents' mistakes and become a loving father.
part.06
爱代替愤怒
Anger against criminals can be fatal, while anger at oneself because of weakness can be devastating.
Healers will find a way to release anger and resentment and be kind enough to look at their own shortcomings and those of others.
Paradoxically, kindness is more effective in promoting healing and growth than anger and harsh criticism.
part.07
Meaning and purpose
A woman who was sold into sex slavery as a child decided to make her experience worthwhile, and later she became a representative of protecting children from the sex trade.
As Frank taught, each of us must find meaning and purpose in life in our own unique way in order to overcome difficult times.
We can do this by finding ways to improve the world, grow personally, and enjoy healthy happiness.
Instead of passively waiting for love or fulfillment, we can think, "What can I offer?" What can I do".
part.08
sense of humor
We can laugh at the ridiculous things we sometimes do.
We can notice the absurdity, ridiculousness, and incongruity between life and people, and laugh at ourselves kindly, "I am more than my shortcomings and weaknesses. ”
Laugh with the others and say, "We are in this together; We are not alone; Everything will be fine. ”
part.09
Compassion
Compassion is sometimes referred to as loving, gentle kindness, or mature love.
Compassion brings comfort and heals the goodness in every moment of life.
We can feel compassion, not condemnation, for those who suffer because of their weakness.
We have compassion for ourselves, not harsh judgments, because we have not yet learned everything life has taught us.
These attitudes can help us heal our wounds and allow us to live happier and more fulfilling lives. But they can't fall into our hands without much effort.
Just like a beautiful plant, it needs to be cultivated with patience.
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