#跨国婚姻##新加坡留学##留学日常##90后#
This is the 4,195th real story we have told
I am Wang Mumu, born in Leshan, Sichuan Province in 1991.
Since childhood, his academic performance has been very good, and the entrance examination has been smooth, but when he was admitted to graduate school, he fell behind.
I was unwilling, so I went abroad to study, but I never thought that this decision would lead to a cross-border marriage.
(When I was one and a half years old)
I am 34 years old and was born into a family of teachers.
My parents are both teachers, and I am the only child in my family. Although I am a girl, my parents are not influenced by the traditional patriarchal mentality, but give me more love and support.
My grandparents were also teachers, and they often told me the story of how heroic Shu was and how many women did not let their eyebrows go.
Under the influence of my family, I was emotionally stable and developed a self-reliant character.
From elementary school to university, my grades have always been very good, and every time I went on to higher education, it went very smoothly, but when I applied for graduate school, the gears of fate changed, and I passed by the school of my choice.
My undergraduate degree was at a 211 university in Chengdu. At that time, I wanted to go to Beijing for a better professional postgraduate study.
After returning from the re-examination in Beijing, I checked my scores online and was extremely excited when I saw that I had taken the 3rd place.
(When I graduated from college, I was 160 tall and weighed less than 90 pounds)
So, I patiently waited for the acceptance letter to arrive.
Unexpectedly, other students have received admission letters one after another, and my admission letter has not even seen a shadow.
Another week later, I still hadn't received the notice, so I called the school to ask what was going on.
As a result, the school teacher informed me that my admission had been cancelled.
It turned out that in the second semester of my senior year, when I was interning in Chongqing, I changed my Chongqing mobile phone number. When I went to Beijing to take the retest, I filled out the form and left two numbers, Chengdu and Chongqing.
The school only contacted my Chengdu number, and if they didn't contact me, they disqualified me from going to school.
I was instantly blinded, stunned in place, tears streaming down my face.
(NUS Graduation Ceremony)
It was like a bolt from the blue for me.
Every year, very few students from our school are admitted to this school. My mentor was very optimistic about me and full of hope for me.
As a result, I worked hard all the way to prepare for the exam for more than a year, and when the good news came, everything came to naught.
Tears of remorse filled his eyes. I didn't expect God to play such a big joke on me.
My relatives and friends knew that I had been admitted to my dream university and was going to study in Beijing, but I was stranded at home, and I felt speechless to face the outside world.
I didn't think about tea and dinner every day, and my weight quickly lost to less than 90 pounds. Other people's college graduation is like a big carnival, but I just want to disappear from everyone's view.
Everything is irreparable. I had no choice but to work hard.
During that time, I was depressed. I feel that so many years of hard work have been in vain, and I have not achieved the desired goal. I was unwilling to give up like this.
(Trekking on Singapore's Southern Ridge)
It just so happened that my classmate gave me the idea that it would be better to study abroad. But I never thought about studying abroad because my family's financial situation was not very good. But after thinking about it, I applied for it first.
So, I worked during the day and stayed up late at night to prepare for the IELTS exam and prepare for the application materials.
After a year of hard work, I received an offer from the National University of Singapore and got a new opportunity.
Opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared.
However, when I excitedly told my family, I thought they would be proud, but I didn't want to be unanimously opposed.
My grandmother also wrote me a long letter asking me to be considerate of my parents, it was not easy for my parents to provide me with a university education, and I worked in a central enterprise with a stable establishment, which was a very decent job in the eyes of my elders.
If you quit your job and go to study abroad, you will put a greater burden on your family, and your future is uncertain.
In the midst of the opposition, only my parents silently supported me. My mom said she had the same concerns as her family, but she wanted to respect my choice.
Growing up, she felt that I was a child who knew what she wanted and what she was pursuing, and she didn't want me to have any regrets on the road of academic growth.
So, the family sold an old house to fund studying abroad. I quit my job at a state-owned enterprise and came to Singapore to start my study abroad life.
(Chance encounter with Chow Yun-fat)
After grad school, I stayed in Singapore and got a satisfying job and got a Singapore work permit.
After 4 years, I live a free and happy life, and my salary is higher than that of my domestic counterparts at the same level, and I basically don't work overtime.
But I started to feel lost when I tried to apply for PR and was denied. If you can't apply for PR, stay and only get a work visa, which won't last long.
However, applying for PR also requires long-term psychological preparation, and it may not necessarily lead to results in the end.
When I was confused, I received an offer for a job in China.
After thinking about it again, I gave up my job in Singapore, cut off my pass, and decided to return to China for development.
Dong Yuhui said: "Life is actually going round and round. If you hadn't gone around that day, you wouldn't have strayed into the wrong path, and then you wouldn't have seen that lake, or that flower, that forest, or that landscape. ”
Yes, I went around and around and came back, and luckily, met the other half of my life.
In 2018, my first year of working in Suzhou, I met my husband through a friend.
He is a Singaporean who was transferred to Suzhou for work, and he has not many friends in China except for his colleagues. It just so happened that I had just returned from Singapore.
(A colleague working in Singapore)
In our new environment, we are all unfamiliar with each other, so we can make one more friend to take care of each other.
The first time we met was at Starbucks, and I was ten minutes late that day because of something. He thought I was too unpunctual and was about to get up to leave, but I arrived just in time.
Fortunately, he has a good impression of me, with the cheerfulness, high education, elegance and generosity of Sichuan beauties. And my husband gave me the impression that he had good facial features, was not tall, had a strong figure, and spoke humorously.
We got along for 3 months, we felt good about each other, we had a lot of fun with each other, and we decided on a relationship.
I told my mother about my relationship, and to my surprise, she, who never urged marriage, was so happy that she couldn't keep her mouth shut.
Later, I learned from my grandmother that my mother did not urge marriage, which does not mean that she is not in a hurry. My mom saw that I had become an older leftover girl, and even though she couldn't sleep, she never put pressure on me.
After two years of dating, my husband proposed to me, and I was pleasantly surprised and caught off guard.
In the community where we rented, there was a small clear river in the middle, and there was a pavilion in the middle of the river.
He asked the flower shop to decorate the pavilion very beautifully, and then asked a friend of his to trick me into coming out and saying that I was going shopping.
(Proposal scene)
I followed his friend to the pavilion and realized that it was the scene of the proposal. He took flowers in his hand, got down on one knee and confessed to me, and in surprise and shyness I accepted his proposal. Residents in the community took photos and sent blessings.
At the end of December 2019, my husband took me to meet his parents for the first time, and they were very satisfied with me, a Chinese daughter-in-law.
After returning to China, he plans to go back to Sichuan with me for the Chinese New Year. As a result, he was delayed for two days for work reasons.
When he drove to Wuxi Airport and wanted to take a plane back to Sichuan, the epidemic had just broken out, and there was a risk of infection by plane. So, he dispelled the idea of going back to Sichuan, fearing that it would affect us, so he stayed in Suzhou for the New Year.
Because of the pandemic, international students from all over the world have returned home through embassies.
When the Singapore embassy staff called him and asked him if he wanted to go back to Singapore, he decisively refused.
He told me that if we go back to Singapore in that uncertain future, we don't know when we will see each other again.
(I went to see the venue with my colleagues)
For my sake, he decided to stay.
There is a good saying: the person who loves you may not be able to afford you, but the person who waits for you must love you very much. Because love is an instantaneous heartbeat, and love is a lifelong obsession......
I didn't choose the wrong person, he is a person who deserves to be entrusted with his life.
In 2023, we will enter the marriage hall hand in hand. In order to get married, he also lost 20 pounds.
Once, when I took him home for dinner, my parents cooked a table full of good dishes and warmly entertained him. He humorously said: "Such a sumptuous dinner, so delicious that I can't stop, I can't walk anymore." ”
My mom took over and said, "It's okay to be fat, keep your standard weight and lose more health." ”
Maybe he heard the voice-over, and since then he has started to lose weight, his weight has decreased from 180 pounds to 160 pounds, and he looks more energetic than before, and he is almost like two people before.
When we got married, his parents didn't come because they couldn't get visas, except for a few of his colleagues, the rest were my relatives, friends and classmates.
Although I only had a one-sided relationship with his parents, they cared about me.
(Singapore Day event in Shanghai)
My husband is a humorous person and loves to joke. Once, at his parents' house, I was openly joking and teasing me, and my father-in-law saw me.
My father-in-law took advantage of my absence to say to my husband seriously: "You are enough, don't bully her with a mouth that can speak well." "My father-in-law is a very kind and attentive person.
Although Singapore is a Chinese society, the system is Westernized. To get married in Singapore, the man does not need to buy a house.
Because marriage is a matter of two people, buying a house needs to be shared by both men and women. When we got married, my parents couldn't accept it.
But in Singapore, it's the unwritten rule. When a person reaches the age of 18, he or she must be able to support himself and not rely on his parents.
When he went to college, he used student loans to pay his expenses, and he would repay the loan after he graduated and worked to earn money.
(Good times in love)
When my husband knows about the customs on our side, he communicates with his in-laws. My in-laws expressed their respect for our customs, and both parents gave us a large amount of bride price, and also bought the "four points of gold" that they would give to their daughter-in-law when they got married in Singapore.
There is no custom of giving red envelopes during festivals in Singapore, just buying gifts to congratulate them.
When my daughter was born, my parents and the elders in the family gave me large cash red envelopes. But in Singapore, they buy clothes, toys and the like, and give small or no red envelopes.
After the epidemic was released last year, my in-laws came to visit my little granddaughter who was less than one year old. They bring two suitcases, both of which are children's clothes and toys, but they don't give red envelopes.
I don't care about any of this because I already know a thing or two about the customs and customs in Singapore when I work there.
The key is that the husband I am looking for is the male god in my mind, although he is not from Sichuan, he is indeed a "rake ear" husband in the Sichuan population.
(Never give up during the epidemic)
He let me do the heavy work of repairing the house. I wanted to decorate the balcony like a garden, so I drew a design for him. He set up a unique balcony garden according to my design. Seeing the flowers blooming quietly on the balcony, although I didn't say a word, I was full of joy.
As Gu Cheng said, "The grass is bearing its seeds, and the wind is shaking its leaves." It's beautiful when we stand and don't speak. ”
However, despite my husband's pampering and flowers, I still suffered from prenatal depression in the third trimester.
I was bulky, short of breath, very tired from doing the slightest thing, and I felt like I couldn't do anything.
The most painful thing is that the quality of sleep is very poor, because my husband has a job, and he can only rest at about 12 o'clock every night.
I was unusually depressed, I often closed my eyes and started to think cranky, and I would cry when it was mild, and cry a lot when it was severe.
At night, when the baby wakes up frequently because of belly kicking and nocturia, he can't sleep for up to an hour or two, and his eyes are open until the sky is dark.
Under the guidance of the doctor, I try to hold my chest up and raise my head every day to make my breathing easier.
When I wanted to cry, my husband always comforted me intimately and fully accepted my emotions.
(Engaged after two years of dating)
After crying, my husband took me to eat a good meal, and I willfully drank my favorite coffee.
Finally, when labor came, I gave birth to my daughter. Under the careful care of my family, I gradually came out of the haze.
My husband has to work and take care of me and the children, and he has no complaints and does his best. As long as he is at home, his daughter's pacifier bottle is cleaned and disinfected, burped, bathed, and put to sleep.
My husband also runs with me every day and supports me to do what I like, and he says that as long as I am happy, I am happy, more important than anything else.
Now our daughter is about to turn one year old, and that soft little person in swaddling clothes has inadvertently grown into a lively, cute, mischievous, and sweet elf.
The world is really amazing, you have to believe that all the accidents and accidents are the best arrangements of God.
If it weren't for my carelessness and missing out on my favorite university, I wouldn't have studied abroad and I wouldn't have met my husband.
There is providence in the dark, and everything is the best arrangement of God.
As the song goes: Your appearance is a beautiful accident; Let my dusty heart surge again, gradually, gradually, gradually depend on you; It feels so pleasant to love you, thank God for the most beautiful arrangement to send you to my life; Gradually, gradually, it was impossible to leave, and there was no one to replace it; Rolling red dust meets your love, my world is so wonderful.
(Welcome to follow the protagonist's account: Abby ❤️ Peanut Butter)
[Dictation: Wang Mumu]
[Written by: Rui Ju]
[Editor: Xiaoqi]
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(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）