The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a typical and representative topic in various interpersonal relationships, which is closely related to every married person and whether every family can be harmonious.
Some people can handle this kind of relationship more properly through their wisdom and kindness, but there are also a large number of groups who are overwhelmed by the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
For these people, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem of the century, what are the reasons behind it?
First, there are great differences in values, living habits, consumption concepts, and parenting concepts.
Because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law grew up in different backgrounds of the times, and their education was very different, they were more or less imprinted with their respective times in their minds.
Coupled with the influence of different families and cultural backgrounds on individuals, their living habits, consumption concepts, parenting concepts, and even values are bound to be quite different, which will inevitably lead to conflicts and contradictions.
2. The struggle for power over the mistress of the family.
As the mistress of the original family, after her son became an adult and formed a family, out of inertia, many still habitually wanted to dominate the family's discourse.
They don't realize that their son's new family is already another family unit.
In the same way, the daughter-in-law, as the mistress of the new family, also wants to defend her position as the mistress. Moreover, women in the new era pay attention to freedom and independence, and are naturally unwilling to be submissive.
3. Emotional conflicts.
Some mothers-in-law feel that after their sons get married, their dependence on themselves is reduced, and their emotional dependence is more or less diverted, and they are often blamed on their daughter-in-law;
The daughter-in-law also hopes that her husband will put more energy and emotion into himself.
Therefore, such families are often prone to conflicts if they fail to meet their own psychological expectations in this competition for the attention and emotional dependence of their sons/husbands.
Fourth, men are not playing their due role in reconciliation.
Although the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law objectively exists in many families, some families are often able to maintain a basic balance because men have actively played the role of reconciling contradictions and coordinating the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
However, some men, lacking the wisdom and concentration they should have, either do nothing or take too much sides, resulting in emotional imbalance, intensified contradictions, and eventually inevitably restless.
So, how to solve the problem of the century in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? The author throws bricks and leads the jade, and Tian will give you one or two tips:
1. Keep a moderate distance from each other and communicate with each other from time to time.
The relationship between people is sometimes a distance that produces beauty, even if the relationship is good, if the distance between each other is too close and there is no boundary, it is often easy to produce contradictions.
Therefore, it is necessary to maintain the necessary distance and sense of boundary between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
As a mother-in-law, keep a blind eye to everything, don't ask what you shouldn't ask, let them solve the problems between young couples, don't intervene at will, unless they take the initiative to ask their mother-in-law to come forward to coordinate.
Similarly, the daughter-in-law should also respect the life and habits of the mother-in-law, do not comment and interfere in the mother-in-law's life at will, and maintain a due sense of boundaries.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is also necessary to create opportunities from time to time to communicate and honestly express their true thoughts and feelings.
At the same time, we should also listen patiently to each other's voices, understand each other, and prevent misunderstandings caused by poor communication.
2. Mutual understanding and respect.
The two sides should realize that each other is two generations, and that differences and contradictions are inevitable, and that they should always empathize with each other and give each other more tolerance and understanding.
The most important thing is to respect each other's values, living habits, consumption habits, etc., most of the life has come down, many habits have been deeply rooted in the bone marrow, do not try to change each other, let alone blame each other.
You should give the other person the understanding and respect they deserve, and even if there are things that you are really not used to, you should be as tolerant as possible.
3. Always care about each other and cultivate feelings.
To resolve thousands of contradictions, it is better to cultivate the feelings of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: daughter-in-law often asks for warmth, cares about and considerate mother-in-law, and mother-in-law also cares more about the needs of her daughter-in-law and solves problems for her.
With the passage of time, if the two parties cultivate a deeper emotional foundation, there will be a fixed sea needle for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, with it, even if there are contradictions in life, it will be much easier to resolve.
4. Maintain reasonable expectations and lower expectations.
The daughter-in-law must understand in her heart that her mother-in-law is not her own mother after all, and she should not expect her mother-in-law to treat herself like her own daughter, which is against human nature and unrealistic;
In the same way, the mother-in-law must also understand that the daughter-in-law is not a daughter after all, and she cannot ask for a daughter-in-law like a daughter. You can't treat your daughter-in-law like you want to say it and scold your daughter.
You must know that once there is an estrangement, it is much more troublesome to resolve than your daughter.
In short, as long as both parties have a constructive attitude, want to take care of the small family warmly, happily and harmoniously, and do a good job in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is a possibility.
If we can respect each other, understand each other, identify and praise each other, and maintain good communication and seek common ground while reserving differences, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can at least be safe even if it can't be like a fish in water, what do you think?
This article was originally written by Moyan Chunqiu, welcome to pay attention to it, and take you to grow knowledge together!