#中美混血##国外生活##美国生活##人物故事#
This is the 4,186th real story we have told
Hello, my name is Pauline, I am 23 years old, and I am a Chinese-American girl.
I was born in the United States to an American father and a Shanghainese mother to a Chinese mother.
I grew up in the United States until I was three years old. Later, because of my mother's work, I was transferred back to China, and when I was three to six years old, I often traveled back and forth between Shanghai and the United States.
I went to school in Shanghai from the age of six to twelve, and I lived with my grandfather. When I was thirteen, I went back to the United States and I have been there ever since.
(My Life Photos)
My grandfather is a native of Shanghai, my grandfather is more introverted, and my grandmother is warm, easy-going, cheerful and kind.
It is said that Shanghainese people are very good at living a budget-conscious life, and my grandma is no exception. Grandma not only keeps the house in order, but also does not forget herself and maintains the refinement of life.
My family is very fond and tolerant of me, and I haven't even been harsh since I was a child. If I do something wrong, fellow relatives will first care about my situation, and then teach me how to deal with it and learn how to grow in the midst of my mistakes.
In addition, what benefited me the most was my grandmother's easy-going personality. Grandma always said: "How big it can be, it's always good, it's okay, it's okay." ”
Growing up in a mild family atmosphere, my personality is also gentle and optimistic.
(My photo at the restaurant)
However, the unstable growth environment when I was a child made me very insecure for a while. Looking at his appearance, he is always a little different from the people around him, and he is very suspicious and doesn't know how to define his identity.
I went to an international school in kindergarten, and most of the students in the international school were mixed-race children like me.
Later, when I was in primary school, my family helped me apply to a public school in Shanghai. In the public schools, there are basically pure Chinese students, and there are very few foreign students or mixed-race students like me.
At first, my classmates were very curious about a mixed-race child like me, and they became very interested.
They would ask me, "Why are you an American and your skin is not white?" ”
"Why is your hair so curly?"
"Why are you American, but your hair is the same color as ours?"
"You're white, why don't you have blue eyes?"
"Why don't you look white and not Asian?" ……
(When I was a kid)
If you are asked too much, you will doubt yourself. I didn't like this kind of attention, and at that time, I always wanted to be able to become the same oriental face as her (him), and I didn't want to look different.
Later, as I spent more time with my classmates, everyone accepted me very well and got along very well.
Chinese schools are like a big family. A good study style creates a particularly warm class environment, which will build the class culture, formulate class discipline, and clarify the class values and code of conduct. The cohesion of the class will be enhanced through various class activities.
In this atmosphere, students will consciously promote their self-motivation to learn, always want to make progress, and want to surpass themselves step by step and climb to the top of their own peaks.
(When I was a kid)
I miss my elementary school days, and I still remember my best friends from elementary school.
I will miss the games I played with my classmates after class, such as shuttlecock kicking, rock-paper-scissors, etc.
Hand in hand to go to the bathroom, play with friends, gossip......
In the blink of an eye, when I was thirteen years old, I returned to the United States with my mother due to the reassignment of my mother's work.
When I returned to the U.S., the changes in my family life didn't affect me as a child, as I grew up traveling back and forth between the two countries.
But at school, it was a whole new challenge for me.
First of all, in the United States, the courses are elective and part-time. Unlike schools in China, there is a fixed class system. Therefore, the students here in the United States, every day and even every class, are different.
(My Life Photos)
When I first came to study, I didn't have any friends, and I wasn't very outgoing, so I was lonely for a while, and I was unfamiliar with the new environment, so I made a little joke.
During one class, I wanted to go to the bathroom in the middle of a class, so I raised my hand and asked the teacher for advice, as is the custom in China.
The teacher was surprised to see me raise my hand, and when he asked why I raised my hand, he smiled helplessly.
Later, I learned that in the United States, if you want to go to the bathroom or leave in the middle of the class, you only need to go and get a small card and leave directly, without reporting to the teacher.
When I was in class for the first time, I saw that many students would take this small card, and in the middle of the study, I always saw many students leaving the classroom with the card, and the teacher ignored it.
(Photo of me with my friend)
From this incident, I saw the difference between the United States and China. In the United States, no one will take the initiative to tell you the rules, and you need to take the initiative to communicate and integrate into the new environment. When you see what others are doing, if you don't understand something, you need to take the initiative to ask, you can't wait for others to explain to you, and it is unlikely that someone will take the initiative to explain to you.
Later, during the class, I met a friend A.
A and I took three courses together, and we met a lot, and we gradually developed into good friends.
A is very warm and sunny, lively and cheerful. She would tell me some of the rules here, take me to new groups, and introduce me to friends who knew her. Her friends later became my best friends, and the good friends would introduce other friends, and it didn't take long for me to make a lot of new good friends.
(Photo taken by me when I traveled)
Here you will definitely ask, in the United States, will white people label and discriminate against mixed-race people?
If I say no, you don't believe it. In reality, it is true, and this is also a problem that we mixed-race children have been plaguing about.
But I'm probably lucky that this hasn't happened in my time with my American friends.
On the contrary, in these American friends, I learned to be brave.
In the process of getting along with American friends, I found that they were very proactive and never hid their thoughts and opinions.
Advocating freedom of individuality, boldly expressing oneself, and pursuing equality.
Have the courage to express your thoughts with the outside world, take the initiative to communicate, take the initiative to fight for opportunities, and have the courage to stand up and speak for yourself.
In 2023, I graduated from college and worked in the public relations department at UCLA.
(Photo of me with my good friends)
This is my first full-time job and I'm currently working as well.
The Public Relations Department, also known as the Project Coordination Department. Mainly responsible for helping the professors and students of the school, coordinating their work and study.
For example, we will help them arrange meeting rooms, arrange various activities, apply for funds, apply for scholarships, and receive students from all over the world.
I am fluent in English, Chinese, Shanghainese and other languages, and I have a background in both cultures, which can help me communicate and coordinate my work well.
I love my job and take my job seriously.
The tempering of work is the fastest growth for myself, and I learned experience and methods in my work, which I realized in a recent incident.
(My colleagues and I took a photo together)
Not long ago, I was complained by a professor B at a school that he had a problem with his work attitude.
The reason for this incident was that Professor B asked our department to help him with some work. After receiving the task, my colleague K sent the work content to my mailbox and handed it over to me.
After the time specified for the completion of the task, Professor B saw that there was no progress in the work, which caused his normal work progress to be delayed, and he complained to my colleague K very angrily, accusing me of having a bad work attitude and no sense of responsibility.
When my colleague K came to me to confirm, I was at a loss. I checked my email address and did not receive any emails about Professor B's work arrangement.
(My travel photo)
Finally, after confirming it many times, I realized that it was my colleague K who sent the email to my private email by mistake and did not send it to my work email. However, I basically don't look at private mailboxes, and work handovers only exist in work mailbox handovers.
I briefly explained this to several other colleagues in the department, and I apologized for the negative impact of this incident on the department.
Regarding the unfriendliness of my colleague K, I also appropriately brought up his shortcomings. Although I am usually more easy-going, I can forgive the first time, it doesn't matter, but I don't want a next time.
I have always believed that Hongchen is a dojo, and doing things is practice.
(My Life Photos)
I thought this matter would pass like this, but I didn't expect that there would be stamina.
A short time after this incident, one day, I was posting an event flyer at the elevator door of the school.
Suddenly, I heard a strange phrase with my own name in my ear, and I turned my head to see that it was Professor B.
"Hi, Professor B, were you talking to me just now? What did you just say? I didn't hear clearly, can I say it again? I asked Professor B, confused.
Professor B ignored me and walked away from me.
At the time, I wondered if the professor still minded what happened last time. My colleague K said that he had explained it to the professor, so I need to explain it to him again.
But there's no need to think about it, don't care too much about what others think, it's inevitable that there will be difficulties in your work, just be yourself.
(My colleagues and I took a photo together)
Maybe it's a special fate, I often meet Professor B later, and I always greet him as always.
"Hi, Professor B!"
“Hello,B教授！”
Every time I greeted him with a smile, even when he came to our office and always ignored me, I would smile at him.
In my work, I am as enthusiastic and conscientious as ever, and I do my best to complete the coordination task every time, believing that I will always be seen.
I don't know when I took the initiative to say hi, and I was responded to by Professor B, and slowly the professor would take the initiative to greet me warmly.
As the philosopher Pascal said, "A person's virtue should not be judged by his particular actions, but by his everyday actions." ”
(A beautiful photo taken by a friend for me when I traveled)
Now, I stick to the job I love, do my best well, and no longer bother myself with my identity.
I realized how lucky I was. Not only can I have family members from two countries at the same time, giving me different family care, but I can also accept the influence of two different cultures, better understand and appreciate different cultural backgrounds, and achieve a different and unique self.
In "The Courage to Be Hated", there is such a passage: Life is to constantly compare with your ideal self, rather than living under the evaluation of others.
We don't live to meet the expectations of others, but to live our lives for ourselves.
【口述：宝琳Pauline】
[Written by: Kaiyan]
[Editor: Wuxi Wu]
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