Hey, parents and friends, let's talk about the "little secrets" in those families with many children today. Have you noticed that there are many children in the family, and there are a few of the oldest in this row, so the fate is really different! Especially the "second child" in our family, they are often like rats in the bellows, angry at both ends, the psychology behind this is simply too interesting, we have to talk about it well.
The second child of "surviving in the cracks".
You see, the first child in the family was born, which was the pearl of the whole family, and thousands of favors were all in one; And the little tail in the family, because it is the smallest, has naturally become the "sweet baby" in everyone's eyes. But what about our "second child"? Hey, that's really the answer to the sentence: "The boss loves the third, and the last thing to see is the second." ”
Li Xia's story is the pain in the hearts of thousands of "second children". When I was a child, new clothes and new toys always clinged to my younger brothers and sisters first, and I could only pick up my sister's old things. Even a birthday, I have to "share" with my sister, and that loneliness can only be borne silently. This experience has taught Li Xia to forbear since she was a child, and as an adult, the imprint of this character still affects her life choices and happiness.
The "invisible shackles" of the psyche
In the final analysis, why is the second child so "miserable"? The answer to this has to be found in psychology. First of all, emotional neglect is a big problem. The parents' expectations and attention to the second child are often unconsciously discounted, which makes the second child feel that he is a "make-up", and his self-confidence has been overwhelmed since he was a child.
Again, the embarrassment of being caught in the middle made the second child unable to find his place. Unlike the boss who has a "first-mover advantage", and unlike the third child who can be coquettish and cute, the second child is always trying to prove himself, but he often feels powerless.
Also, the endless comparisons and competitions are a nightmare for the second child. always wants to surpass the boss, but is worried about being caught up by the third, this anxiety makes their childhood less innocent and more heavy.
Compensating psychology and pleasing personality, these are the "shackles" that the second child inadvertently put on himself in the process of seeking recognition. They work hard to behave and crave attention, but they often lose sight of what they really feel inside.
Love, let the rain and dew be even
Therefore, as parents, if we want our children to grow up healthily, this art of "a bowl of water is flat" must be practiced well. Don't let any child feel left out, every child is unique and deserves the same amount of love and care.
Remember, each child's birthday should be celebrated individually, so that each child feels special; When allocating resources, try to be fair and don't let age be a reason for preference; Listen to each child and encourage them to express themselves instead of just pandering to others.
epilogue
All in all, a family with many children is a feast of love, but it is also a challenging practice. Our goal is to let every child grow up freely under the sunshine of love, whether it is the eldest child, the second child, or the third child, they can have their own bright sky. Let's work together to create a loving and fair growth environment for children, so that the "hard-lived" second child can also bloom with his own brilliance!
Well, that's all for today's sharing, if you have this or that story in your family, you might as well leave a message in the comment area, let's talk about it together! Don't forget to like and follow, let's continue next time!