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These two days were brushed by Jiang Ge's verdict, and the school group was also discussing how to popularize the law for children.
While discussing the temperature of the verdict, I would like to say that through this matter, it is necessary to seriously talk to the child about the issue of making friends.
What kind of friends can be made, what kind of friends can not be made, and what kind of degrees there are between friends.
Between friends, the friendship of gentlemen is as light as water, this is the first principle, no matter how good friends, they must learn to keep a distance and have reservations.
In contrast, in the Jiang Ge case, Liu Xin and this family are very problematic, how selfish to change their names and surnames, shirk responsibility, bite back, the most typical mediocre evil, fear of death is very normal, but selfish and cowardly, no responsibility, ungrateful, really shameful.
My lawyer said that the verdict inspires righteousness and is a response to the declining values of morality, selfishness and self-interest in judicial practice.
If your child has such a person around him, stay away as soon as possible.
To give an example of a daughter at school:
Once, she came back and told me somewhat angrily:
Today I got a preventive injection, but B said, you hit it first, I will hit it again, but I hope you have something, because you have something to do, I can not have to hit it.
My daughter is an optimist, rarely shows me the negative emotions generated in school, because I am not in good health, she is very sensible, always feel that she is happy I will be happy, I am happy on the body, she even assigned me tasks, every day in front of the mirror to give myself a smile, laugh for a minute, understand so much that I feel painful.
But when she came back that day, she was obviously really angry. I asked carefully to know the original commission, she said: from kindergarten to now, I let her do everything, I am so good to her, when no one plays with her, only I play with her, but she actually hopes that I have a problem, she hopes that I have a problem with the injection, how can she be like this, I don't want to be friends with her anymore. A doesn't want me to be okay, A is my real friend.
The daughter said this in a vacuum, and the above paragraph should be her original words at that time.
I advised her at the time, maybe B is just joking, you don't have to be too real, we are still good friends together, and you will spend the next few years of elementary school together.
The daughter said that she was not joking, she was very serious about telling me.
So I told her: What kind of friends to make, you decide for yourself, your mother will not interfere with what kind of friends you choose, but you must choose friends who make yourself comfortable, you care for each other, encourage each other, help each other, do not calculate, do not envy, do not remember hate, when things are spread out, you can quarrel, after arguing can also be reconciled as before, such friendship is benign, if you feel that some people make you uncomfortable, then it is appropriate to keep a distance. She nodded.
At first, I also thought that it was just a child's mouth, but as a parent of the parent committee, it is the responsibility to find out the problems of the school and the problems between the children, coupled with volunteering at the coffee corner, the observation of the school is that the school is tolerant enough of the children, and the observation of the children is to give a preventive injection incident, and I am sure that it is not a fairy tale. Having that kind of idea at a young age is definitely linked to family education.
Now many parents are tired of ignoring the education of their children, no matter how much money they earn, no matter how glamorous the articles are written, no matter how beautiful the photos are, and the posing is re-invested, the education of children's psychological counseling and personality is undoubtedly a mess. A loving child cannot say such things, and a loving family will not teach a child who can say such things.
At the end of the day, this also comes down to the illness of the only child. Husbands and wives complain to each other, lack of love for each other, children do not feel love, or not from the heart of the real love, it is easy to become selfish and sensitive.
There is a line in "Thirty Only": They all want to avoid the wind, who will be hong Kong! One sentence breaks down the most frequent problems in the marriage relationship where husband and wife are only children. They all hope to be cared for by each other in the palm of their hands, and they are like snails, hiding in their own shells, afraid of hurt and unwilling to pay. Because I was raised by my parents since I was a child, this concept is even stronger. Marriage requires two people to tolerate each other, if not, there will definitely be problems, even if the temporary marriage relationship is maintained for the sake of the child, and the child's delicate mind is all in the eyes.
For example, love to cry, why children like to cry, crying is the simplest way to attract attention, in the family relationship, the child is sandwiched between the parents, crying is also the most effective way to prevent/resolve a family conflict.
The first case above "Female Psychologist", a seemingly sunny girl, psychologically has a shadow, and classmates on the same stage to recite, obviously she fell down, but took advantage of the adult's sympathy for the weak, with tears and suicide, self-directed a play. In reality, such a child, if not guided, will definitely lead to unpredictable consequences in the future.
It's not that I'm not tolerant enough of crying children, as the saying goes, children who cry have milk to eat, but they can't be wronged in order to coax children who love to cry! Why cry, you have to find out the reason to be able to prescribe the right medicine, so that the child can grow up more optimistically and positively. From the perspective of healthy growth of children, laughing is definitely more beneficial than crying. Whose childhood does not want to be spent in laughter, and who wants to be lost in tears. Isn't it worth reflecting on?
The best education is homeschooling, which comes from the love, encouragement and trust of parents and is a solid backing for children to take a step forward.
Why did I say that B is not a fairy tale, because there is another thing, the daughter said, one day she was playing on the playground, B came to her and said: A let me tell you, A said she did not want to make friends with you. Just when A ran to play with her daughter, she heard what B said, and B said: You lie, when did I say such a thing. After saying that, I pulled my daughter and the two of them to play together. At a young age, he stirred up dissension and thought about it with great fear.
Every time I go to school, I will stand on the edge of the playground to observe, and find that B is a child who is easy to fall alone, and I think she really lacks love, because of the lack of love, the lack of trust in the friends around her, and it is difficult to integrate. Because children do not compromise with each other because they shed a few tears, in addition to the parents will compromise, can be called the king in the eyes of the parents, who is not an only child, which child does not want to be the king. Therefore, no one among her classmates was spoiled and used to her, probably before my daughter would, obviously, after that incident, she would not be.
Once between classes, the students in the class all ran to the playground to play, B stood alone under the stairs, as if waiting for someone, just that day in the coffee corner on duty, I saw her alone, I went to ask: Everyone went to the playground, why don't you go to play with your classmates? She said I was waiting for C. C is her new friend and her daughter's friend. C in another class, is indeed a child who will obey and follow others, once the daughter and B, C played together, B sat on the side and cried, the three parents asked what was wrong, B said they did not play with me. For an instant I was embarrassed with C's mom, but my daughter and C said it wasn't that we didn't play with her, it was that she wasn't involved. Therefore, if this psychology of B is not guided, it is easy to become extreme, and there will be a hurt and isolated psychological cue unconsciously. And will fall into a vicious circle of thinking. I talked to B's mother about this problem, and she said: It is indeed our problem, and it will be changed slowly. Hopefully B's childhood is truly sunny and not superficial.
Sometimes I also tell my daughter that you let B be, after all, you are younger than you and not very mature. As a result, she said, why should I let her, am I mature? I used to let her go, but she wanted me to be okay, do you think I'm stupid?
My daughter reads a lot of books, and the words she says always make me drop my jaw. What she said was not unreasonable. In her eyes, who is really good to her, she is very clear.
When I teach my child to face difficulties independently and strongly and rationally, she naturally does not think that shedding a few tears is a very wise solution to the problem, so naturally I will not think that it is a weak person because of who has more tears in her classmates. Instead, she felt it was princess disease. She said, I don't like to play with people in the late stages of princess disease, B and D (a child I don't know, probably know and cry) is, so you don't have to persuade me.
At this point, I can completely ignore my daughter's dating circle, she has her own standards and judgments. Especially after rationally helping the teacher solve a small dispute between classmates like a small lawyer and being persuaded by the teacher to join the school debate team, I was more at ease.
Based on the accumulation of reading, she has a rationality, calmness, and a clear distinction between right and wrong beyond this age (perhaps this age does not understand gray and division). But after reading Jiang Ge's verdict, I still couldn't help but tell her, don't mix with other people's idle things, who knows what is right and wrong! Is this selfish? No, as my daughter grows up, I have to teach her how to protect herself. We will not take the initiative to hurt others, but if we are hurt, we must not hesitate to fight back, that is called legitimate defense, and we must not swallow our anger.
But occasionally she still takes the initiative to play with B, but it is not long. I don't know why, I haven't played with B at all recently, maybe there is something, I didn't ask. But she said she wouldn't play with selfish people who only thought about their own needs. I probably got it.
I remember that last year there was a news about a little girl, with a few children standing on the roof, instigating other children to jump between the two roofs to play, just that time "The Hidden Corner" was being broadcast, watching my back a chill. Netizens commented on what they said, and the most common thing was: it was a child with a dark psychology. I agree.
Maybe it's the calf caretaker, so much so that now whenever I see B, I'm always worried that something similar happens to my daughter, especially the sentence: I want you to be okay. This sentence echoed in my ears all the time, so that I unconsciously alienated B's mother. Once, it was a rare person who made me feel that I could talk about everything after leaving the campus, and even helped her pick up the children many times when she was busy with her feet and did not have time, but she also lived for so many years, and felt that it was the only person who made my back cold.
You can never wake up a person who doesn't want to wake up or pretend to be asleep. Some people want to reach out and pull a hand but can't find where the hand is. I also understand why companies do not recruit people over the age of 35, because the thinking has been solidified, especially those who do not accept new things and refuse to learn new things.
Why do I say this, because once I had a recurrence of chronic bronchitis, the mother who was chatting with me at that time saw that I was uncomfortable and did not want to talk, but she stubbornly argued with me about a very unnecessary issue in the usual mutual hurt between the two of them, which made me quite speechless and even surprised. Probably the video number small video needs to add lines of the problem, want to add on the add do not want to add, from the texture and perspective of the movie, I think not to add will have more imagination space ... She actually took out the **** posture... Off-topic, not much to say, and then I have the suspicion of leaking people's privacy.
I'm already coughing and talking almost out of breath, even if it's a stranger, I should have a little eye power at this time! Shouldn't the plot first care about the patient, it may be that my expectations are a little high, and I feel that I am important because I am sentimental. After coughing that day, I couldn't help but scold her directly: Don't talk to me in that way between you. The voice I said at that time was very low, even if it was not low, it was not understood by others, but she certainly understood.
Because I always felt that B's mother had psychological problems, I once told her that if I needed to go to psychological counseling, I could accompany her, but after that time, she regarded me as air. After sending the child to greet me in the morning, she saw me as air. I don't think this is normal behavior that an adult should have. My lawyer said you should ask why, and I said, some things can be worse to ask because you're not dealing with a normal person. But the next time I meet, I'll say hello, it's a recuperation.
Remembering the Jiang Ge incident, I suddenly felt that I was mr. Dongguo. I actually talked so much with a selfish, sensitive, suspicious, and extremely self-righteous person, thinking about my daughter's B classmate, it was simply a miniature version of her. No wonder the daughter says she doesn't play with selfish people who only think about their own needs.
So now I've learned to be defensive, especially after my daughter was taken to the bathroom by a classmate to play and was discovered, I would never allow my child to play alone with other children in my absence. And I am sick, and I really can't talk too much with people with many family conflicts. I, as a person with a soft heart, will actively and optimistically comfort others for half a day, and then come home and feel sad and even cry for half a day for other people's unhappiness. Once alarmed my lawyer, he also thought that some mistake had provoked me again, until I said that B's mother confided a bunch of unpleasantness with me today, so I was sad, I felt unworthy for her, why did she die to face and endure it. Therefore, I can also understand B's state and B's mother's difficulty, and I hope that they can all get better.
Life is always good, and we must face it positively and optimistically. I, a person who has swung around the ghost door, can face it positively and optimistically, a little bit of family conflict, both sides have paid a little love and tolerance, what can not be overcome.
Therefore, be sure to talk to the child about the concept of choosing friends, remember that when I was a child, as long as I wanted to take home to play with the children, my father would seriously ask me about the child after the dispersal, such as: grades, activity in the class, what the parents did. At that time, I thought he was so annoyed, and even some classmates asked before coming to the house to play: Is your father at home? They thought he was harsh.
But it turned out that what really became good friends with me and was able to stay in touch to this day was really comfortable for me. We share common values, can care for each other, can help each other, can empathize. More importantly, those who play with me are those whose families are happy, whose parents are harmonious, and whose brothers and sisters care for each other and unite. Because they can empathize, know how to care for each other, and enjoy being cared for. Those who asked me if my dad was home eventually became passers-by in life, and there was no contact after elementary school.
Therefore, seriously tell your children that you should at least choose to make friends with children who are harmonious with their families. Children with discordant families generally have problems of one kind or another. Without much argument here, the parents' problems must be reflected in the children. Some things are hard to change deep in the bones.
Just like the older you get, the more you find that marriage emphasizes the door to the door, in fact, in addition to the family, there is also the convergence of the comprehensive level, outlook on life and values of the two people. Making friends is actually the same, looking around, the school playground two or two together with the small partners, whether it is from temperament, dress style, getting along style, comprehensive ability, family background, personal preferences, etc., in general, people with equal strength, there is something to talk about. No need to cater to anyone, it is best to meet Zhiyin.
Therefore, through the Jiang Ge incident, we must be open and seriously talk to the child about the issue of making friends and the question of what kind of degree of friendship there should be. Don't think it's a question of who to look down on, in fact, it's a two-way choice, you are choosing at the same time, you are also being chosen, because we are doomed not to teach children to be an eight-sided golden oil.
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