Mom, in 2 days, the long summer vacation is coming, are you burning money or energy?

Mommy OK

2024-06-28 14:03Creators in the field of parenting

Children across the country have recently ushered in the final exam, and our family will have an exam tomorrow! The exam is nothing, but after this exam, the "painful days" of my parents are coming, how to spend the long, quite long summer......

The mothers in the group are crazy "complaining",

The general arrangement is still the same as in previous years:

1. Stuffed into the custodian class; 2. Stuff into interest classes and cram schools; 3. Arrange one or two long-term trips in the middle of the gap period.

After these three sets of combinations, the child is happy, and the parents' wallets are not easy. In particular, long-distance tourism, a money-burning project, is small across provinces and large across borders, which can be called the king of the "money shredder" industry.

Recently, the live broadcast of parent-child travel on various platforms this month is overwhelming, and the points are also very poignant, "Visiting G5 Super Elite University" and "Experience the life of a top cow baby"...... Every sentence is reminding the old mother that the "pattern" should be big, and she should take the baby to "broaden her horizons", and don't let her baby lose in the "cognition", of course, the price is also very "top", and it is often tens of thousands, so I really feel that the pressure on the money in my pocket is great.

However, if you empty your pockets and let your children go out to see each other, can you really raise children who have "seen the world"?

How can a child be considered to have seen the world?

In today's article, let's talk about it with you.

01

Don't fall into the trap of "seeing the world".

I remember that at the end of the summer vacation last year, a neighbor complained to me that he sent his son out for a study trip, but he regretted it.

After half a month, my son complained of exhaustion as soon as he came home.

Check in 5 or 6 locations a day, either in the car or in line.

When I arrived at the historic sites and famous schools, I was also crowded with people, and I was about to go to the next stop.

Under the scorching sun, dragging his sore legs, his son said that he just wanted to end it quickly so that he could go back to the hotel to rest.

What's even more infuriating is that my son finally added: The pocket money you gave is too little, and you can't buy the souvenirs I like.

The mother's original intention was to let the child go out to see and learn more, but as a result, she was replaced by a tired and resentful child.

There are also some children who have not been able to gain much knowledge by "seeing the world".

I remembered seeing a family drama called "Good Things Come in Pairs" before.

When the teacher asked the boy why he was discriminating against his classmates, the boy said calmly:

"I didn't bully her, I just said that their house was not as big as ours, and she didn't go to Russia to see the aurora in the summer......"

If these ideas blurted out without thinking about it, I am afraid that they will gradually solidify in his unformed values.

Such a child, no matter how much he sees the market, if he does not have the minimum politeness and quality, he is just a frog at the bottom of the well.

02

Too much anxiety, beware of being stupid

Having said that, why do parents of this session generally fall into the anxiety of "taking the baby to see the world as soon as the holiday is over"?

I chatted with a few mothers around me, and found that everyone's psychological misunderstanding is nothing more than that-

1. As soon as I compare, I am anxious

I saw on the Internet before that there was such a chain of contempt in the child's summer vacation life:

First-class summer study, second-class summer vacation, third-class summer vacation, third-class summer vacation, and fourth-class summer vacation back to hometown.

Mothers began to roll in:

Other children are studying and traveling, and I saw that this child went to Singapore today, and that child will go to Hawaii tomorrow.

Our children can only stay at home, isn't this losing at the starting line?

Many parents of ordinary families would rather save money on their own, even if they tighten their belts, they must follow the trend and send their children abroad to experience the experience.

2. I usually owe too much to my children, and I have to compensate them for the summer vacation

Many parents are busy with work, and their children usually look for you, but you always push them away with various affairs.

Or because of various inappropriate parenting styles, the relationship with the child is very stiff.

I just thought that I would use good material rewards for good food and drink, fun and use, and even high-priced overseas travel and research camps to make up for the feeling of indebtedness in my heart and adjust the relationship with my children.

There will also be some parents, thinking of the poverty when they were young, the more they feel that they have not seen in the past, the more they want their children to "grow insight".

And behind the disguise of "taking children to see the world" is the lack of parents' own hearts, wanting to make up for it in their children.

This is actually a shift in anxiety that does not solve the underlying problem.

3. The more money you spend, the more advanced the world you see

In addition, we also have a psychology that we have to spend money to buy experiences when we see the world.

And the higher the price of something, the greater its value must be. Therefore, the optimal solution of "taking children to see the world" is often given to expensive tourism and research projects.

Coupled with the overwhelming information bombardment of merchants, many parents think: seeing the world can be like buying clothes, that is, buying vested.

When children go to a prestigious school or go overseas, they will have a pattern, they will be able to understand the value of studying hard, and they will be able to find the meaning of pursuing their dreams.

But in fact, if you want your child to really see the world, it needs a process that your child really feels and understands in the experience and experience.

It is the child's soul is nourished, and after the soul is touched, it gradually and imperceptibly internalizes those things in character and behavior.

03

Ordinary families, the most suitable for bringing children to see the 3 worlds

There is a hot topic on Zhihu: Ordinary families, how do you think it is to let your children see the world?

I agree with one of the answers: instead of letting children see the unreachable market, it is better to let them be more grounded.

For example, take your children back to their hometown and see the world of their hometown.

Taking your child back to her hometown is not the second best choice for your child during the summer vacation, but I think it is the first choice.

On the one hand, like many children who follow their parents and live in big cities, they lack the opportunity to get close to plants, trees, and landscapes. Let the children live in their hometown for a few days, scatter wild in nature, and release their nature.

On the other hand, let the children see the places where their parents and grandparents have lived and learn about the culture of their hometown.

This can't help but make me think of Dong Yuhui, who I have been watching and talking to you many times.

Looking back at his childhood experience, Dong Yuhui was born in a ravine.

When he was a child, his father would take him to fish for tadpoles, hold cans and bottles, and raise big frogs.

When he came across a newborn bird, he raised it with his son and released it together.

At that time, of course, Dong Yuhui did not have the opportunity to contact overseas study tours, high-priced summer camps, and even ordinary travel, which were luxuries for him.

But in the intimate contact with nature, in the love and care of small animals, in the simple wisdom of the old father, he grew into the person who has a good fortune in his heart, and was once evaluated: Dong Yuhui has seen the "superlative" world.

Where is the high-level?

Dong Yuhui sells agricultural products, and some people question that corn is too expensive. What he wanted was not to praise the organic and natural nature of corn to raise the gold content of corn, but his response was that "grain cheapness hurts farmers".

When he sells apples, he doesn't think of selling more, and the prize he gets is higher. On the contrary, he said this: If I sell a box for 20 yuan, then if I sell 1,000 boxes in the evening, this fruit farmer's family, his children's college money, living expenses, and the elderly's medicine money are enough.

When I saw this, I was in tears.

Even if he has stood on the high platform of capital, what he thinks about is still compassion for the "disadvantaged groups".

Therefore, you may wish to take your children back to their hometown for a walk, take them to contact nature, and have a journey to find their roots.

See where your ancestors have lived for generations, listen to the stories of your parents when they were young, and let your children feel the power of love and life in the nature of their hometown. No matter where you go in the world, you will never forget the way you came.

For example, let the children pay more and see the hardships of life.

Psychologist Adler once said that a person's sense of worth comes from "the contribution of others".

The idea is that if a child can do something that contributes to others in his relationship with others, he can gain a sense of value in that relationship.

And the sense of value is the driving force of a person's self-realization.

I saw a surprising video before.

A boy urged his mother to change his mobile phone, but his mother felt that the mobile phone could still be used and did not need to be changed.

The boy didn't give up, thinking in his heart that it would only cost a few thousand dollars, why was my mother so stingy, and she didn't want to spend this amount of money for me. Mom doesn't love me?

His uncle couldn't stand it anymore, so he tried to take him away: "Go." I'll take you to buy a phone. ”

As a result, the uncle took the child to deliver food together, and it took a few weeks to earn a few thousand yuan.

The mother felt a little sorry for her son, so she said that I should make up the rest of the money for you.

As a result, the boy took the money he had earned so hard, but he was reluctant to spend it, and he didn't mention changing his mobile phone.

Finally, under the guidance of his uncle, the boy used the money he earned to buy a small gift for his mother.

Only when children have endured hardships themselves can it be easier to understand their parents' efforts and know how to cherish and be grateful. Only by experiencing the fruits of one's own labor can one find a sense of value in life.

Another example is not to be disturbed by the outside world and take children to see themselves.

Professor Stanford once said that the biggest dilemma of today's children is that they have no sense of meaning, because they cannot find the direction of life.

Guiding children to find the lighthouse in their hearts is a crucial aspect of seeing the world.

It is rumored on the Internet that on the campus of Peking University, you will often see a man with messy hair, tattered clothes, and seemingly dull eyes, carrying steamed buns and a bottle of mineral water, hurrying away.

And this person who seems to be a "bum" is actually Wei Shenwei Dongyi, the "mathematical wizard" of Peking University.

Such a proud son of heaven, in childhood, was also a bad student who gave the teacher a headache.

I am often late for school and do not change my lessons. He is sluggish in expression, his language is extremely poor, and he is not good at sports, and his sports performance is the first.

The only thing to be thankful for is that Wei Dongyi's father discovered his son's interest.

Other children are playing, picnicking, and exercising, but Wei Dongyi is holding a math book all day long, wherever he goes, where he sees.

While others were worried about the child's troubles, his father was always supportive of his interests and spent time with him solving math problems.

It is this almost fanatical obsession with mathematics, as well as the support from his parents, that has allowed Wei Shen to explore all the way, open all the way, and become a legend of Peking University, a top university.

Look at his daily life at Peking University now, a plate of vegetarian dishes, a few white steamed buns is a meal, and he only needs 500 yuan per month for living expenses.

With a low-key edge, he has lived himself into the "big world" in the eyes of others.

Every child who seems to be imperfect actually has immeasurable potential, but it cannot be obtained through a few expensive overseas studies.

Instead of using money to open up your child's eyes, it is better to let your child see his inner self clearly.

Help the child find the one that he wants to do even if he forgets to eat and sleep. And this will be the source of his enthusiasm and the light of life in his growth.

Therefore, you may wish to read, think, and communicate with your child more, so that your child can discover his interests and hobbies in books.

Take your child to watch movies and documentaries, visit nearby museums, and let your child's mind collide with distant souls. Maybe your child will be inspired to find a direction in life.

Therefore, many things that can take children to see the world do not have to go very far, and there is no need to equate spending money with seeing the world.

These subtle things in life, as long as they are experienced with their hearts, can allow children to gain insight and wisdom.

Of course, it's not that the research camp is meaningless, I will also apply for the summer camp for OK myself, and I have been investigating suitable research camp projects in the past two years, I think that on the one hand, the quality of the project is very important, and the consideration of quality must not be measured by money; On the other hand, I think it's very important for parents to set their own expectations correctly, which we can share later.

In short, whether it costs money or not, far or close, it is necessary for children to get close to nature and into life, and in the process of exploring themselves, they will grow into the teenager who has a tiger in his heart and smells the roses.

Finally, how do you plan for your children during the summer vacation? Let's talk about it in the comment area~

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Personal opinion, for reference only