Chinese are very face-conscious, but that doesn't mean they don't value dignity. In a way, face and dignity are interrelated. However, this does not mean that all Chinese hold the same views or behavior. Therefore, this is not a simple political issue.
This sentence was said by Zhang Boling, not by me. This statement is not my point of view, but Zhang Boling's point of view.
Zhang Boling is a very famous modern patriotic educator. At the end of 1949, just as Chongqing was about to be liberated, he did not follow Chiang Kai-shek's instructions to go to Taiwan, but chose to stay on the mainland. In doing so, he demonstrated his position and determination. For this decision, we can see that Zhang Boling has a very high patriotic sentiment.
To put it bluntly, I felt a little overwhelmed when I read this.
The purpose of life is to maintain one's dignity, just as a tree needs to protect its bark. The whole world understands that Chinese attach great importance to face, how can Mr. Zhang Boling say that Chinese do not attach importance to dignity?
The above is one of the points.
The second point of view, you say that the Chinese pay attention to face, but also say that they do not want face, isn't there a contradiction between the two?
Combined with the analysis of the above factors, the following points can be drawn: this statement is puzzling, and its errors are endless. The above content has deleted some of the modifiers and replaced them with straightforward colloquial expressions, which maintain the original meaning while reducing the similarity with the original text.
When we calm down and think deeply, we will find that on which occasions do we take care of face? What is the true thought of our hearts in these situations? Only when we really ask ourselves whether we want to be embarrassed can we have a deeper understanding and comprehension of that sentence. When we think about it this way, we will have a clearer understanding of the problem.
The situations where we say "give me some face" most often come when we feel that others are not giving us respect or don't want us to be in an awkward situation. At this time, we hope to ease the atmosphere through such a request so that the other side can give us some decency and dignity.
Do we need to use relationships to treat and give gifts?
In mind, in order to achieve a personal goal, we may try to invite someone to a meal or give a gift, but they politely decline. At this point, the first thing we blurt out may no longer be what we originally planned, but say, "Please respect my decision." Or, "Tell me about my situation." This is a more direct and respectful way of expressing the other person's choice.
From our point of view, the other person doesn't seem interested, and we are in an awkward position because it's about our self-esteem. Therefore, we decided to ask the other party to agree to our request in order to restore our dignity and face. So that we can be satisfied in some way.
What we care about is not simply inviting people to dinner or giving them gifts, but behind the scenes, they can help us solve problems, take shortcuts to achieve our goals, and then obtain corresponding benefits. This kind of help allows us to achieve certain goals and enjoy the benefits of benefits.
Looking at this process, jumping out from our personal small perspective, doesn't it seem a little less positive? Isn't it feeling a little gloomy?
In layman's terms, some people may think that we have bypassed rules and regulations in order to achieve our personal goals, and even used improper methods, which in their eyes is brazen. Expressed in this way, the meaning is almost the same.
In our daily lives, we also encounter other similar situations, such as avoiding taking up space for others and leaving seats for others in public places.
We wanted to accommodate our own needs and hope that the other party would be accommodating, either by letting me join the group or by giving me a seat.
If the other person is unwilling to give up his seat, I will think like this: I am older, you are young and strong, according to common sense, you should give me your seat, right? It's out of respect for me, and it's a sign of your courtesy, don't you think you should put me ahead of you?
You rejected my request and made me look embarrassed in front of everyone, which made me feel like I was losing face. I must take action to judge you on a moral scale, and hopefully this will make you understand my position and make concessions. It's a persecution you can't avoid, but I keep my words direct and straightforward. You have to recognize the impact you have on me by doing this, and then take action to correct it. I stand on the moral high ground and hope that you will understand and accept my point of view.
From the point of view of my online friends, I do have a bit of a misnomer.
One writer said that the importance that Chinese attach to face and truly cherish personal dignity are two different concepts. Although it is important to save face, it does not mean that it is a despicable and shameless act. These two can exist at the same time, but that doesn't mean they're the same thing. This question involves social and political complexity.
The writer gave a concrete example to illustrate his point.
They have a pet dog, and this dog has a habit of always running to the community to rummage through the garbage cans. This made him feel embarrassed, and he didn't want to be mistaken for someone who couldn't even keep his own dog. Therefore, he will often give this dog some teaching and training, hoping that it will correct this habit.
This author communicated with his friends about this matter.
A friend told him, "What you are focusing on is not the dog's real inner world. Think about it from another perspective, dogs have the right to forage for food on their own, and they also have the right to find food in the trash can. However, you don't care more about the dog's feelings and thoughts, but because it destroys your image and makes you feel like you've lost face. Therefore, from a dog's point of view, this behavior of yours is simply unreasonable. ”
In a subsequent interview, the writer said: "The dignity of human beings actually comes from personal self-discipline and self-restraint, while face is an external concept that needs to be recognized by others." There is an essential difference between the two. Face is not the true dignity of the person, but depends on the giving and recognition of others. If others don't give recognition, then face doesn't exist. The pursuit of face and relying on the cognition of others to improve oneself is actually a manifestation of selfishness and vanity, which is different from true human dignity. ”
True dignity comes from being independent and striving for oneself rather than relying on others. And we often mistakenly think that self-reliance is humiliating, as if we have to be served by someone to make our faces shine. But this notion is not true. Only when we rely on our own strength to achieve ourselves can we truly have dignity. Therefore, we should cherish the value of self-reliance as a true expression of personality. Only in this way can we truly be consistent inside and outside and not be at the mercy of the outside world.
This overly utilitarian mentality and way of behaving makes us resign ourselves to fate, blindly obeying authority, and behaving as if we were on our knees. When dealing with our superiors, we are always full of flattering smiles and lose our self-esteem; As for our subordinates, we put on a haughty posture and appeared indifferent and ruthless. Such an attitude not only makes us lose our dignity and self-worth, but also hinders the spread of positive social energy and the development of healthy interpersonal relationships. We should keep thinking independently, pursue our true thoughts and values, and not be swayed by utilitarian guidance. In the face of authority, we need to remain rational and calm, not blindly obedient. Only in this way can we be neither humble nor arrogant, and be a person with dignity and self-worth.
In this situation, we are busy and laborious in order to live a busy life, and we are caught in the whirlpool of internal friction, and we have to use strategies and skills to deal with it. Against this backdrop, we are under the pressure of life and have to work hard, calculating how we can survive better. We seem to be stuck in an endless cycle, constantly consuming our energy and time. In such an environment, we are forced by life, exhausted and struggling, constantly using strategies and minds to deal with various challenges. It is as if we are caught in an inextricable internal friction from which we cannot extricate ourselves.
Of all living beings, humans are supreme. We should respect human beings and not use them as materials or consumables to build a supreme value system. This behavior is unacceptable and unethical. We should value the dignity and worth of human beings, which is the basis on which any value system is built.
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