[The content of this article is based on authoritative historical data, and there are citations at the end of the article, please be aware.] 】
In the Chinese cultural circle, there is such a remarkable father and son: one is a well-known master of Chinese culture at home and abroad, and the other is an unknown scientific research worker. Their relationship is full of ups and downs, full of drama, and can be called a modern version of the "family ethics drama".
This father and son are Ji Xianlin and his only son Ji Cheng. Who is Ji Xianlin? In academic circles, he is a thunderous existence. This linguist, who is fluent in more than a dozen languages, has made outstanding contributions in the fields of Indology and Buddhism. However, in family life, he was an "absent father".
When Ji Cheng was born, Ji Xianlin was in the ascending period of his academic career. In order to pursue higher academic achievements, he chose to study in Germany, leaving his three-month-old son and wife back home. This parting is eleven years.
In Ji Cheng's childhood memories, his father was a blurry photo and a letter from home with few words. He longs for his father's love, but he can only learn about this father he has never met from his mother. Whenever he heard Ji Xianlin's name mentioned on the radio, the little Ji Cheng would be excited, as if this was some kind of connection with his father.
Finally, when Ji Cheng was 11 years old, Ji Xianlin returned to China after completing his studies. However, reunions after a long absence did not lead to a warm reunion. When Ji Cheng excitedly shouted "Dad", Ji Xianlin just smiled faintly, as if he was just facing an ordinary student. This cold attitude left an insignificant scar in the young Ji Cheng's heart that was difficult to heal.
Over time, the relationship between father and son did not improve significantly. Even though Ji Cheng was later admitted to Peking University and worked and studied at the same university as his father, there was still very little communication between them. In Ji Cheng's eyes, his father is more like a stranger who sends living expenses on time, rather than a relative who can confide in his heart.
Perhaps in order to make up for the lack of heart, Ji Cheng worked extra hard in his career. He was successfully admitted to the Chinese Academy of Sciences and became a senior engineer at the Institute of High Energy Physics. However, in his love life, he seemed a little frustrated. Under the arrangement of his family, Ji Cheng married a woman who was a good match.
Unfortunately, the marriage was not a happy one. The two had incompatible personalities and often quarreled, which eventually led to his wife moving abroad with their children, leaving Ji Cheng alone to live alone in Beijing. At this moment, fate gave Ji Cheng an unexpected turn. In 1992, the elderly Ji Xianlin needed a nanny to take care of his daily life. So, a young woman named Ma Xiaoqin walked into Ji's house.
Ma Xiaoqin comes from the countryside and has little education, but she is hardworking and capable, and has a cheerful personality. She not only kept the Ji family in order, but also often made the sick old man laugh. Gradually, her presence brought a touch of warmth to this otherwise deserted family.
Ji Cheng was attracted by Ma Xiaoqin's kindness and simplicity. Seeing the young woman's thirst for knowledge, he offered to teach her to read and write. In getting along day and night, the two gradually developed feelings that transcended their years.
However, the relationship was not all smooth sailing. When Ji Xianlin found out about his son's ambiguous relationship with the nanny, he was furious. In his opinion, this is not only unethical, but also a violation of the family's reputation. In a fit of rage, he drove Ma Xiaoqin out of the house.
Ji Cheng had a big quarrel with his father about this. Years of resentment erupted at this moment, and he blamed his father for years of neglect of his mother and children, calling him "a failure in life". In anger, Ji Cheng announced that he had severed relations with his father.
In this way, the father and son began a 13-year break-up. During this period, Ji Cheng experienced a major turning point in his life. He went through divorce procedures with his wife, who had been separated for many years, and made up his mind to be with Ma Xiaoqin.
In 2004, 70-year-old Ji Chengying married 30-year-old Ma Xiaoqin. This marriage caused quite a stir in society. Some people praise this as "loyal love", while others ridicule it as "old cows eating tender grass". However, for Ji Cheng, this is the first time in his life that he has followed his heart's choice.
Ji Cheng's marriage undoubtedly deepened the rift between him and his father. Ji Xianlin was extremely dissatisfied with this marriage and believed that his son's behavior violated traditional morality. In his opinion, even if he is not in harmony with his wife, he should not have feelings for the young nanny. This clash of ideas has exacerbated the relationship between father and son.
At the same time, Ji Xianlin's later life was not satisfactory. Having lost the company of his family, he lives alone in an empty house, full of loneliness and loneliness in his heart. Although in the eyes of outsiders, he is a highly respected scholar, but in private, he has no one to confide in.
However, fate is always full of drama. In 2008, Ma Xiaoqin gave birth to a son for Ji Cheng. The arrival of this little life unexpectedly became an opportunity to resolve the conflict between father and son. Ji Cheng plucked up the courage and took his wife and children to visit his father. When Ji Xianlin picked up his young grandson, a smile on his face that he hadn't seen for many years.
At that moment, it was as if the estrangement of many years had melted in an instant. Father and son finally let go of the mustard and reconnect. Sadly, this hard-won reconciliation did not last long. Just a year later, Ji Xianlin died of illness. His departure not only caused the academic community to lose a master, but also brought a huge blow to the newly reunited family.
After Ji Xianlin's death, the issue of his estate sparked new controversy. It turned out that before reconciling with his son, Ji Xianlin had signed a donation agreement with Peking University. He donated all the books, calligraphy and paintings, and manuscripts that he had treasured for many years to the Peking University Library for the establishment of Ji Xianlin's studio.
A total of 577 items were donated in 38 categories, including some of Ji Xianlin's most cherished collections, such as Su Dongpo's Ode to the Imperial Book. It is estimated that the market value of these collections is as high as about 100 million yuan.
Faced with such a huge inheritance, Ji Cheng raised objections. He claimed that his father had left a note before his death, giving him carte blanche to deal with the aftermath. Based on this reason, Ji Cheng asked Peking University to return the donations. However, Peking University believes that these are honorary donations from Ji Xianlin and should not be withdrawn.
This inheritance dispute eventually turned into a legal battle. Ji Cheng took Peking University to court in an attempt to recover his father's donation through judicial channels. However, due to doubts about the legal validity of the note he provided, Ji Cheng lost the case in the first instance. This result undoubtedly casts a shadow over the already complicated father-son relationship.
In order to let the world know the true relationship between himself and his father, Ji Cheng decided to record this tortuous family history in the form of words. He spent a lot of time sorting out materials and reminiscing about the past, and finally completed the book "My Father Ji Xianlin and Me". This book not only tells the story of Ji Xianlin's life, but also delves into the complex emotional entanglements between their father and son.
In the book, Ji Cheng did not shy away from expressing his criticism of his father. He bluntly described Ji Xianlin's indifferent attitude in family life, and even used sharp words like "a loser in life" to describe his father. He believes that although Ji Xianlin has made great achievements in academics, he seems to have failed extremely in the handling of family relationships.
However, as he grew older and more experienced, Ji Cheng's views on his father gradually changed. He began to understand the burden of the times that his father's generation of intellectuals carried. In that particular era, scholars like Ji Xianlin often had to make difficult choices between family and career.
Although Ji Xianlin's choice has brought harm to his family, his contribution to Chinese academia is undeniable. Ji Cheng's book has sparked extensive discussion from all walks of life. Some people think that he was too harsh and should not have been publicly criticized after his father's death; Others expressed understanding, believing that this was a way for him to vent his feelings for years.
In any case, the book unveils the mystery of Ji Xianlin's family life for the public, and gives people a glimpse of the little-known side of the academic giant. At the same time, Ji Cheng and Ma Xiaoqin's married life has also become the focus of public attention. Despite the doubts about their union, the duo don't seem to care about the gossip.
Their daily life is plain and warm, and Ma Xiaoqin not only takes care of her elderly husband, but also carefully raises their children. This family with a huge age gap unexpectedly shows a harmonious side. Ma Xiaoqin's simplicity and kindness seem to fill the long-term emotional lack in Ji Cheng's heart.
And Ji Cheng helped his wife to continuously improve herself and make up for her lack of education through careful teaching. However, life is not always smooth sailing. As he grew older, Ji Cheng's health gradually became a problem. As an old man, he inevitably faced various physical challenges.
At this time, the young Ma Xiaoqin showed extraordinary patience and love, taking care of her husband's daily life day and night. Despite this, Ji Cheng and Ma Xiaoqin's marriage still faces many doubts from society. Some people believe that their union is based on a material foundation, and question whether Ma Xiaoqin really loves Ji Cheng, or he still likes his wealth and status.
These discussions came into the ears of Ji Cheng and his wife from time to time, bringing a lot of pressure to their lives. In the face of these doubts, Ji Cheng chose to remain silent. He believes that sincere feelings do not need to be proved to others. And Ma Xiaoqin responded to the speculation of the outside world with practical actions.
She not only takes care of Ji Cheng's daily life, but also studies hard, improves her cultural level, and tries to narrow the knowledge gap with her husband.
As time passed, Ji Cheng's perception of his father also changed. He began to look back on his life experiences and think about his father's choices. Although he still could not fully agree with his father's approach, he gradually understood the special requirements of intellectuals in that era. This understanding made his heart a little calmer.
In his later years, Ji Cheng began to sort out the manuscripts and materials left by his father. Through these words, he seemed to get to know his father again. He found that behind those rigorous academic papers, Ji Xianlin also had a soft side. This made Ji Cheng ask himself: If they could communicate more back then, would they be able to avoid those unnecessary estrangements?
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Resources:
Wang Tong; Ling Xiang Editor-in-Chief. Contemporary Writers: The Beauty of People is the Brightness of the Heart[M]. 2021