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Marriage is sacred and happy for most people, and marriage is also a point of separation between two very different stages of a person's life.
Many people will pursue a perfect love when they are young, even if the result is not satisfactory, as long as the process is vigorous. Psychologist Maslow Needs divides human needs into five sections:
The lowest level of demand is the physiological need, that is, the need to survive, to ensure that they can eat enough and wear warmly;
The second level of demand is the need for safety, including physical and psychological safety;
The third level of need is the need for love and belonging, that is, the need to be in love and get a sense of belonging in love;
The fourth level is the need for respect, after which people begin to pursue respect for others; and finally, the need for self-actualization.
After meeting the needs of the bottom, people will begin to pursue love and a sense of belonging.
Man is originally a social animal, everyone needs the love and care of others, and hopes that when they are sad and sad, there will be someone to rely on.
At the same time, people's emotional needs are more detailed and extreme than the physiological needs, as a spiritual pursuit, he is closely related to each person's growth experience, personality characteristics and family influences.
The famous psychologist Eriksson pointed out that in the early adulthood of individuals, they will face the conflict between intimacy and loneliness in their hearts, and individuals will be extremely eager to establish a stable and long-term intimate relationship at this extreme to resist the loneliness in their hearts.
In early adulthood, if the individual can successfully establish a stable intimate relationship, the individual will establish a strong sense of security in the heart, and conversely, if the individual does not successfully get enough love at this stage, it is likely to produce benign chaos.
Psychologist Freud pointed out that normal and healthy people are full of love in their hearts, able to work hard and live actively.
Later, Freud also proposed on the basis of Erikson's theory that the identity established by the individual in adolescence can help the individual to establish a stable and good intimate relationship with others.
Individuals with a strong unity will passionately pursue love and pursue the people they like, and they fervently hope that they can establish a stable and long-term intimate relationship with the people they like.
And those who are more confused about identity, the attitude in life will be relatively negative, they like to be alone, always stand in a place far from the crowd, will actively avoid interacting with people, and eventually form a lonely personality, completely unable to integrate into the life of normal people.
So, what age group of women needs more intimacy? Different people have different views, some people think that women between the ages of 20 and 40 need men the most and want to have intimate relationships.
At this age stage, women need to have a man behind their backs, they also need to have children, and they need men to take on more financial pressure.
Moreover, at this stage, the physiological needs of women are higher, the secretion of female hormones is strong, and the demand for sex increases.
So, how do psychologists view this? Psychologists believe that the premise of establishing an intimate relationship between men and women is mutual attraction, and both parties can meet each other's psychological needs, so that each other can get love and a sense of belonging in each other, so as to become one.
From the perspective of developmental psychology, individuals have different needs for love at each age stage. 20-year-old girls like the feeling of being pursued and the feeling of being loved, so they will take the initiative to find love and seek the passion that love brings to themselves.
By the age of 30, women's bodies and minds are more mature and will be bound by more practical reasons, so 30-year-old women year olds yearn for stable feelings and have a higher pursuit of security and belonging.
From a evolutionary perspective, adolescence means that an individual enters sexual maturity. The optimal age for women to have children is around 25 years old, so women aged 25-30 years secrete more estrogen, and the demand for men is also the highest period in their lives.
As women age, the estrogen in women gradually decreases, and by the age of 30 women need less for men. However, their hearts still long for someone to protect themselves, so by the age of 30, women are more inclined to find a stable relationship.
They want a warm and safe home more than dry love, at which time, economic, social relations, family background and other factors will become important considerations in their mate selection criteria.
As people get older, people's needs for love will continue to change, and most women will find their love and establish stable intimacy before the arrival of middle age.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
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参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205