Who is the least popular in a family with many children? This is the case for most families!

Apricot mom parenting

2024-06-30 09:54Creator in the field of parenting

Written by: Xiaowen

We often say that "a dragon gives birth to nine sons, each with its own differences". With the liberalization of childbirth, many families have begun to choose to have second and third children. In the face of the birth of the second and third children, can parents treat them fairly?

In a family with many children, the birth order really has a big impact on the child's development.

As the boss, he will be treated with special privileges. After all, it is the first baby of the parents, so it will naturally get more care. The eldest is often more sensible and can act as a little head of the family.

This special treatment makes it easier for them to learn to lead others. Coupled with the extra investment of their parents in them, whether it is studying, finding a job or getting married in the future, it may give them an advantage over their siblings.

As the youngest child, the third child can also get extra pampering from his parents. This is because parents love their children more when they are older. With the care of their older brothers and sisters, their lives are often quite nourishing.

However, this benefit may be limited to childhood. When he grows up, the third child may find that there are fewer good things in the family, after all, the parents are old, and the older brothers and sisters also have their own families.

And the second child is often the worst. Since birth, I have to compete with the boss, and I can't catch up. There is neither the advantage of the boss, nor the preferential treatment like the third. Sandwiched in the middle, I often feel forgotten and have to try to win the attention of my parents. However, such a situation may also make the second child more adaptable to the environment and become smarter.

Xiao Li is a multi-child family, and the second child is often the most neglected. The second child in Xiao Li's family has felt like he picked it up since he was a child. When there are good things in the house, such as food, new toys or clothes, her brother always thinks first, and she can only wear the old clothes left by her sister. This kind of differential treatment always makes her feel inferior in her heart.

When it comes to birthdays, it's even more distressing. She and her sister's birthdays are just three days apart, but the family always only celebrates her sister. Every time it comes to his birthday, Xiao Li spends it silently alone, feeling like a forgotten corner.

Over the years, it has been neglected, which has made Xiao Li's character a little inferior. I didn't dare to say anything about being wronged at school, so I could only cry secretly. This kind of personality still affects her until adulthood.

Xiao Li is now married, but her life is not satisfactory. She was often bullied by her husband, but she didn't even dare to protest, let alone defend her rights and interests.

This situation has a lot to do with the timid personality she has had since she was a child. Why do you say that "the eldest son is the most favored, the younger son is the most painful, and the second son is the least favored"?

When it comes to psychology, the second child in a multi-born family often feels particularly unlucky. This unluck is not only due to the environment, but also because of some complex psychological factors.

As I said earlier, parents' expectations for the second child are usually not that high. They experienced the growth of their first child, and there was less freshness and excitement. This emotional neglect may cause the second child to feel less important than his siblings, and he or she will start to feel inferior.

The position of the second child is also awkward, neither the privilege of the eldest nor the favor of the younger brother.

The children caught in the middle often feel like they have been picked up at home, neither as pampered as the older brother nor as extra cared for as the younger brother. This feeling makes them quite confused, and they don't know what they are at home?

Since childhood, they have to compare themselves with their older brothers, as if they have to surpass their older brothers to make their parents proud. This kind of endless competition and comparison makes them feel unsteady and anxious.

Because he always wants to prove himself, the second child may become very hard-working, trying to win the attention and recognition of his family by doing better than others. But it's actually quite tiring, and sometimes they suppress their true thoughts.

Is your family with many children, can you achieve a bowl of water?

[The above content is for reference and learning, please carry out under the guidance of professionals, on the road of parenting, we are all novices, how to take better care of children, you can follow me, and discuss those things on the road of parenting with me. 】

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