The hot search on the incident of "grandma cooking and waiting for her grandson to eat is scolded" revealed the biggest hidden pain of a family

Intensive reading

2024-06-26 11:38Published in Fujian

The hot search on the incident of "grandma cooking and waiting for her grandson to eat is scolded" revealed the biggest hidden pain of a family

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In the past few days, a video has been on the hot search, the author of the video is a grandmother, she recorded the days when she cooked for her high school grandson.

The grandmother took a picture with her mobile phone, and the boy came up to meet him, sat down at the dining table and prepared to eat.

At this time, the grandmother opened her mouth and said to her grandson: "I helped you with all the food and the dishes were cooked, but I didn't turn on the air conditioner when I was hot at home, do you know why?" ”

After hearing this, the boy replied without raising his head: "Because you have a bubble in your brain, and you can't open it when you die of heat, you can only move yourself, but you can't move me a little." ”

Grandma: "Can't I move you if I work so hard?" ”

Boy: "No way. Because you can only move yourself. ”

The video sparked heated discussions, with one comment attracting more than 140,000 likes:

"The other party rejected your ego touch."

Everyone deeply agrees, and feels that the grandmother in the video is a typical "no hard food", and she also wants to use her "no hard food" as a tool for PUA children, and she is saying that she has wronged herself for the sake of her children.

It is true that the dedication of elders to their children is often accompanied by dedication and sacrifice, but the hardships that some parents endure are not necessary at all.

Just like the grandma in this video, what happens if she feels hot and the air conditioner is turned on?

She just wanted to use such "hardship" to try to move her grandson and make her grandson feel guilty, but she didn't expect her grandson to react so differently.

There is an educational short film "Jasmine's Last Day", the protagonist Jasmine was born in a Kochi family, her father is the head of a high school, and her mother is a Ph.D. student studying in the United States.

After getting married, my mother voluntarily gave up her job as a college professor and took care of the two children at home full-time.

She is strict with Jasmine everywhere, and Jasmine lives up to expectations and becomes the pride of her parents.

It's just that I didn't expect such a well-behaved and sensible daughter to commit suicide by jumping off the building on an ordinary night.

The mother was puzzled, on the one hand, she didn't understand why Jasmine chose such an extreme path with a good future, and on the other hand, she felt that her daughter's suicide was very embarrassing, claiming that it was an accident.

Without Jasmine, her mother began to focus on Klee, urging her to study in the same way.

But Klee's learning ability is not outstanding, and even the red light in the three subjects is hung, and her mother is very angry, calling out that as the daughter of a department head, how can she fail the exam.

As long as Klee doesn't live up to her expectations, she loses control and repeatedly stresses about the sacrifices she made for them and for her family.

She yelled at Klee, "If I hadn't given birth to you, I'd be a professor now!" Why? If I don't let the professor do it, I'll be angry with you here, right? ”

On the other hand, she also tries to find the reason for Jasmine's suicide, because by chance she sees Jasmine's perspective before her death.

It turned out that Jasmine's real love was literature, she had literary talent, and the novels she wrote even won awards, but her mother felt that literature was useless and resolutely refused to let her touch it.

Mom always uses her own sense of sacrifice to kidnap her daughter, Jasmine accepts her mother's control, and at the same time, under her mother's intensified harshness and schoolwork pressure, her psychological state deteriorates and deteriorates, and she eventually suffers from severe depression.

In the end, the mother woke up and realized that the biggest murderer of her daughter was herself.

Educator Makarenko once said:

"Everything is for the child, sacrificing everything for him, even sacrificing his own happiness, and letting him carry all this, this is the most terrible gift a parent can give to a child."

The sense of sacrifice of parents is the biggest disaster for a family.

A parent who flaunts self-sacrifice in front of his children all day long can hardly get his children's heartfelt respect and love.

A Zhihu netizen also shared her mother's story, and she felt that her mother was a person who particularly liked to be touched by herself.

When she was a child, her mother would enroll her in various training courses, and tell anyone that she asked her daughter to learn these things, either for the sake of how much the child would achieve, or because she hoped that the child would be versatile in the future.

When others hear about it, they will say to netizens: "Ah, look at your mother, how good she is to you, you must honor her well in the future." ”

The mother will say, "Oh, it's just this one daughter, who doesn't hurt her." ”

However, in front of netizens, my mother does not have such an attitude.

She will say to netizens:

In order for you to learn this, I specially found someone, found you a good teacher, how much money was spent, and my mother had to let you learn no matter how hard and tired she was.

Look at xxx's mother, will she let her daughter learn? Only I let you learn, and you have to repay me with your grades. Mom loves you so much.

There are many similar things, such as giving gifts to the teacher without telling her daughter, helping her daughter copy notes late, etc., but these netizens don't need it, and they don't want their mothers to do it.

But the mother has to do it, and when she finishes it, she asks her daughter to repay, and every time she will say: "Mom and Dad are counting on you to support the elderly in the future, we have to pay so much for you, you have to work hard, so that we can live a good life." ”

Netizens are about to go to college, and their parents began to have a second child and want a son, netizens asked their parents vaguely, what will they do when they get old in the future?

The parents took it for granted but replied: "You will raise him in the future, he is your younger brother, and we gave birth to him to help you." ”

The netizen said: "That's it, she thinks it's for my good, it's not easy to have another one at such an age, my mother works hard, you will definitely thank your mother."

That's probably it, saying that my selfishness is hello, and I am moved to feel that I am the greatest mother in the world, and I have sacrificed so much for you. What do you have to say? Taste it yourself. ”

Reminds me of what the philosopher Russell said in The Road to Happiness:

"Parents should not do as much as possible for their children, all self-sacrificing parents are often extremely selfish to their children, will control their children emotionally, excessive concern is often a disguise of possessiveness."

It's always "everything for you" to kidnap the child's emotions, and this kind of education results in moving yourself, but not the child.

Parents who emphasize dedication and sacrifice will only make their children feel a deep sense of guilt.

Papi-chan said in an interview that she was also kidnapped by her parents when she was a child.

Her parents often told her:

"Everything I do is for you";

"Parents smash pots and sell iron for you";

"If it wasn't for you".

The words of her parents did not move Papi-chan, but only made her feel guilty.

Perhaps the original intention of parents is to let their children see their own difficulties and motivate them to learn and grow, but they don't know that this is to control their children with emotion, so that they can obey themselves and obey their own commands.

Therefore, don't always talk about giving, these words, even if they are kind, are like a sharp knife piercing the child's heart, and the child will not feel happy.

Maybe you don't have to be so wronged by yourself, as papi sauce said, the order of life should be "yourself first, and then the parents of your children".

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