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"Do you choose to be a woman, or do you want to succeed?"
Faced with her husband's questioning, 32-year-old Pan Hong chose the latter without hesitation.
Who would have thought that this woman, who was once known as "a flower inserted in cow dung", not only became the first actor in China to appear on the cover of "Time Magazine", but also won the Golden Rooster Award for actress laurels three times.
However, behind the success is 35 years of loneliness and widowhood.
Pan Hong's life is like a movie she acted in, full of drama.
She is a mixed-race child, a "distressed laugh", and the epitome of "middle-aged".
Her story is a portrayal of countless women, which is both distressing and admirable.
Today, let's walk into Pan Hong's life and see how this "flower" blooms in the wind and rain of fate.
1. Mixed-race girl: Childhood from honeypot to bitter sea
Pan Hong, a name that sounds very ordinary, has an unusual origin.
Her original name was Liu Ronghua, and she was a half-Russian mixed-race child.
This secret is like a time bomb in Pan Hong's life, which may detonate her peaceful life at any time.
Imagine that your biological father was a Soviet expert who came to China to help, but left behind a mess of unmarried pregnancies.
Your mother had to marry a cadre who went south in a hurry, and you became an accident in this marriage.
This is Pan Hong's life experience, it sounds like the plot of a bloody TV series, but it is her real life.
Before the age of six, Pan Hong was fostered at her grandmother's house.
There, she was like a little princess, spoiled and lawless.
But the good times didn't last long, and when she was six years old, she was taken back by her mother.
Back home, she found that she had two more sisters.
Since then, her life has changed from color to black and white.
At the age of ten, Pan Hong experienced the biggest change in her life.
Her stepfather, the man she thought would protect her forever, committed suicide.
Ten-year-old Pan Hong, holding her stepfather's ashes alone, got on the train to Harbin.
The three-day, three-night journey was like a long coming-of-age ceremony.
From then on, she was no longer the innocent little girl.
2. From Chongming Island to Shanghai Film Studio: The beginning of the starry journey
In 1973, Shanghai Theater Academy came to Chongming Island to recruit students.
This enrollment changed the fate of two people.
One is Xi Meijuan, and the other is our protagonist - Pan Hong.
At that time, Pan Hong was selling meal tickets in the canteen of the farm.
She thought that her life would go on like this.
Who knows, fate played a big joke on her.
On the day of the exam, Pan Hong wore her most beautiful clothes.
She stood in front of the examiner and performed a monologue with her big deep eyes.
It was at this moment that Pan Hong's life trajectory completely changed.
After entering the Shanghai Theater Academy, Pan Hong is like a wild horse that has escaped, and her talent finally has a stage to display.
Before graduating, she filmed 3 films in succession and became a popular figure in the school.
After graduation, Pan Hong was assigned to Shanghai Film Studio.
This is great news for a recent graduate.
Shanghai Film Studio, that is the cradle of Chinese films, a place that countless actors dream of.
In Shanghai Film Studio, Pan Hong met two people who changed her life.
One is director Yang Yanjin, and the other is her future husband Mi Jiashan.
"Annoying Laughter" directed by Yang Yanjin made Pan Hong an instant hit.
This film not only took her to Cannes, but also to the world.
But at the same time, it also brought her the first turmoil in her life.
Some people say that it is better to become famous as soon as possible.
But becoming famous too early is not necessarily a good thing.
23-year-old Pan Hong was caught up in an uproar before she learned how to deal with the Vanity Fair dispute.
3. Meet Mijiashan: A vigorous love
In Pan Hong's life script, Mi Jiashan is an indispensable role.
Their encounter is simply a perfect idol drama opening.
It was on the set of "The Slave's Daughter."
Pan Hong was cleaning the glass by the window, and the sunlight was shining on her, outlining her graceful outline.
Mi Jiashan was fascinated by her at a glance.
You must know that Mi Jiashan is 8 years older than Pan Hong, and his appearance is mediocre.
But he was talented, gentle, and considerate.
For Pan Hong, who has lacked father's love since childhood, Mijiashan is like a perfect haven.
Their relationship was not favored at the time.
Some people say that they are like "a flower stuck in cow dung" together.
But Pan Hong didn't care, she identified Mijiashan.
In 1978, they got married.
Pan Hong thought that she would have a complete home from then on.
But reality is not always as rosy as a fairy tale.
In the eight years after marriage, Pan Hong devoted herself to her career.
She has changed from an unknown actor to a well-known movie star.
But the price is that the time she spent with Mi Jiashan was only a short 380 days.
Mi Jiashan once took out eight calendars, and circled the days they were together.
Looking at those sparse red circles, Pan Hong realized how much she neglected this marriage.
When Mi Jiashan asked her: "Do you want to be a woman, or do you want to succeed", Pan Hong chose the latter without hesitation.
She thought that Mi Jiashan would support her as always, but this time, she was wrong.
On the day of the divorce, Mi Jiashan pushed the bicycle, and Pan Hong sat in the back seat crying.
She cried as far as the bike went.
But her tears can no longer be exchanged for Mi Jiashan's heart.
4. The acting road of the "Queen of Sadness".
In the eyes of many people, Pan Hong is a "tragic diva".
Her acting path seems to be forever interpreting tragedy.
But you know what? These tragic roles have just made her acting career.
In 1981, Pan Hong starred in "Du Shi Niang".
Du Siniang, who she plays, is a Qinglou woman who is deceived by love.
Pan Hong vividly interpreted Du Siniang's pain, as if she was Du Siniang herself.
This play has established her image as a "tragic diva".
But what really made Pan Hong a movie queen was "People to Middle Age" in 1983.
In this movie, Pan Hong plays a middle-aged woman who is much older than herself.
In order to play this role well, she went to the hospital every day to observe the doctor's words and deeds.
Her efforts were not in vain, and this role won her the Best Actress award at the 3rd Golden Rooster Awards.
Pan Hong's acting career is like a horse, galloping all the way.
In 1984, she won the Academy Award for Best Actress for "Fire Dragon".
In 1985, she won the Best Actress Award at the Damascus Film Festival for "The Last Queen".
But Pan Hong's most glorious moment was "Stock Crazy" in 1992.
This movie won her the Best Actress Award at many film festivals such as Golden Rooster, Hundred Flowers, Huabiao, Golden Phoenix, and Golden Deer Awards.
No one has been able to break this record so far.
Pan Hong used her strength to prove that she is not just a "flower", but also a powerful actor.
She conquered the audience with her acting skills and proved her worth with awards.
However, when she stood at the pinnacle of her career, she realized that the price of success was so heavy.
Without the company of a lover and the warmth of a family, success seems to be boring.
5. Lonely Red Face: Pan Hong after the divorce
After the divorce, Pan Hong is like a lone wolf.
She has had several scandals, but none of them have come to fruition.
Some people say that she had a relationship with artist Han Meilin.
Han Meilin is a talented person who created Fuwa for the Beijing Olympics and also designed the mascot "Kangkang" for the 2016 Spring Festival Gala.
They have known each other for seven years and have an excellent relationship.
But Pan Hong said they were just friends.
There is also a mysterious figure who Pan Hong calls "Sai" in her autobiography.
She described "Sai" as a "man who is not trivial, unassuming, and does not always deliberately show how capable and amazing he is, but he is a man who is pleasing and convincing, a man with an atmosphere." "
But this relationship was only short-lived.
In fact, Pan Hong has always had Mijiashan in his heart.
She once said, "I live to show him." But Mijiashan already has a new family, and only Pan Hong is still hesitating in place.
In 2015, the premiere ceremony of "The Door of Life and Death" was held in Sichuan.
Mi Jiashan and Pan Hong both participated.
But when Mi Jiashan saw Pan Hong, he chose to escape.
At this moment, Pan Hong really realized that the past had finally passed.
As she grew older, Pan Hong began to take on some mother's roles.
Because she has played too many "evil mothers-in-law", she also has the title of "evil mother-in-law professional".
But she doesn't care, and being able to continue to do what she loves is the greatest happiness for her.
Write at the end
Pan Hong's life is very similar to the tragic characters she played.
She gave everything to art, but she missed a lot on the stage of life.
The definition of success varies from person to person, and so does what happiness looks like.
Some people envy her achievements, and some people feel sorry for her loneliness.
But in any case, she is the protagonist of her own life and has written her own legend.
What do you think of Pan Hong's life choices? If you had to choose between career and family, what would you do? Perhaps, the answer doesn't matter.
It is important that whatever choice you make, take responsibility for your choice and leave no regrets.
Life is like a play, we are all our own directors.
I hope that everyone can perform the most wonderful script on their own life stage.
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