I, the takeaway brother, married an 11-year-old Laotian beauty, she was super satisfied, and said that China is good anywhere

Interviews with real people

2024-06-29 20:35

This is the 4,199th real story we have told

I'm Ah Peng, a divorced delivery guy with children.

After the divorce, several relationships ended without a hitch, and I no longer had any hope for love.

Under my mother's arrangement, I went to Laos for a relaxation, but I didn't expect to meet a kind and beautiful Lao girl, Hehi. Her appearance was like a warm ray of sunshine, illuminating my gloomy world.

Now, we have returned to China together and started a new life.

Even in the most hopeless moments, love may still be waiting for us at the most inadvertent corner.

(A photo of me and Xixi when we were in China)

I was born in 1991 in Anqing City, Anhui Province, to a rural family with two older sisters.

In order to make ends meet, my parents went to Southeast Asia when I was one or two years old. They started a small business as backpackers. Running around with a bag on their backs, although it was hard, it also allowed them to earn more money than they did in China. Our family was the first in the village to build a house, and the first to have a telephone and a motorcycle.

Due to their busy work, their parents can only come back for reunions every year during the Chinese New Year. When we were not accompanied by our parents, my sisters and I became left-behind children, cared for by our grandparents.

As the only boy in the family, I was regarded by my family as a treasure in the palm of my family since I was a child, and I didn't have to do farm work or housework. All the good food and drink in the house will be given to me first.

(I'm flying to Laos in 2023)

Growing up, education has always been an unavoidable topic. With the expectations of my parents and the example of my sisters, I felt a lot of pressure.

My grades in elementary and junior high school were good, but by the third year of junior high school, I came into contact with Internet cafes. In the Internet café, I temporarily forgot about the pressure of my studies and immersed myself in the joy of the virtual world. It also made my grades plummet, and I didn't even get into high school.

After that, I followed my parents to Xiamen and studied secondary school for three years. After graduating, I got a job in an electronics factory, where the roar of machines was incessant and the rhythm of the assembly line was fast and orderly.

After several years of working in an electronics factory, I deeply realized the hardships and difficulties of life. However, I don't want to be stuck on this assembly line, and my heart longs for freedom.

So, I made an important decision to change careers and become a delivery driver. Although this job is still hard, I enjoy my own freedom and independence.

(I flew to Xishuangbanna, and then took the China-Laos high-speed railway to Laos)

At the age of 24, I met my first wife. We met at a friend's party, attracted each other, and quickly fell in love. In love, we decided to get married and hope to spend our lives together. A year after marriage, his son Haohao was born.

However, marriage is not as simple as love. Differences in personality, friction in living habits, and the pressure of daily chores gradually erode our feelings. Despite our efforts to maintain it, at the age of 26, we finally chose to divorce because of personality differences.

After the divorce, I lived alone with Hao Hao. I talked about several girlfriends one after another, but they all fell apart because the other party couldn't accept me with children. These experiences hit my heart like a hammer, leaving me feeling frustrated and disappointed, and eventually I decided to give up on finding love.

During this low period, my mother noticed my depression. She suggested that I go to Laos and have a relative who has lived there for more than 20 years and can take care of it.

"It's not just a trip, it's also an opportunity to find business opportunities and relax," she said. ”

(My son Haohao)

With a touch of curiosity and anticipation of the unknown, I set out on a journey to Laos. At first, I thought it was just a simple trip, an opportunity to explore new job opportunities. Later, I gradually realized that my relatives were actually arranging blind dates for me.

In Laos, I stayed at a relative's house, and he brought four or five girls one after another, but I wasn't interested in the darker-skinned girls.

However, fate always surprises people inadvertently. One day, a relative brought in a girl, and it was lunchtime, so we ate together. I secretly raised my head, and my eyes fell on her: fair skin, large, bright eyes, a soft voice, and always with a shy smile on her face. Her first impression on me was very good.

However, the language barrier was like an invisible wall, which made it difficult for me to communicate with her. I was so anxious that I didn't want to eat, so I had to ask my relatives to help translate.

(Photo from when we first met in Laos)

When her name, Xixi, a Hmong girl who was 11 years younger than me, came from a relative, I felt a surge of mixed emotions in my heart. I couldn't help but start worrying, afraid that my age, my past, and the fact that I had children would become obstacles in her eyes.

After the meal, we added friends to each other through the Laotian chat app, which gave me a glimmer of hope. I remember sitting in the dim light that night, my fingers jumping across the screen of my phone, sending her one message after another in anticipation.

As the minutes ticked by, the phone screen never lit up. Ripples of uneasiness began to ripple in my heart, and worry and fear spread through my heart.

I was stuck in an endless wait, and every day felt like I was struggling with the long river of time. I stared at my phone, afraid to take my eyes off the screen, for fear of missing any vibration or beep. Late at night, I lay in bed tossing and turning, filled with all kinds of imaginations that Heeki might reject me. These imaginations are like shadows in the night, lingering.

(Photo of Nozomi when she was 9 years old)

Every moment of waiting became unusually long, my heart beat faster with the passage of time, and every slight vibration of my phone made me almost suffocate with nervousness, but often disappointed with it. I'm even starting to wonder if it's just wishful thinking on my part.

Two days later, just when I was about to give up hope, the screen of my phone finally lit up with Xixi's reply. It turned out that after she returned home, she and her mother went to work in the mountains of Laos, where there was no mobile phone signal, so she did not receive my message in time.

At that moment, all the uneasiness disappeared in an instant. My heart was filled with indescribable joy and gratitude, as if I had finally seen the light of day in the long dark night.

Despite the language and cultural barriers between us, despite the fact that I had failed marriages with children, Hei Hei was willing to give me a chance.

(I'm in Laos attractions at the Arc de Triomphe)

In the beginning, I didn't know anything about Lao, and I could only speak a few simple words. Hihi speaks Hmong, and she is not very familiar with the official language of Laos. I tried to send her messages using translation software, but many of them were difficult to understand and always responded with a simple and warm smiley face.

In order to be able to communicate better with Hihi, I started to learn Lao, especially Hmong. After a month or two, I was able to communicate with her in simple vocabulary. We got to know each other through video chats, and although we didn't understand the language, we gradually got to know each other through smiles and simple vocabulary.

Xixi is a Laotian Miao people, an ethnic group that migrated from Yunnan, Guizhou and other places in China hundreds of years ago, so Xixi's skin color is similar to that of Chinese, not as dark as people in most Southeast Asian countries.

Hihi's home is located in a remote and impoverished rural village in Vientiane Province, Laos. In the Hmong culture, a man can marry more than one wife, so Xixi's family didn't particularly care about my divorce.

(Laos Landscape)

Nozomi's father left home with another wife and children when she was five years old, leaving behind Nozomi's mother and her siblings without any living expenses.

Xixi's mother relied on hard work such as working for others, planting cassava, picking papayas, etc., earning about 600 yuan a month to raise Xixi and her siblings.

Coming from a poor family, Xixi was very sensible since she was a child, and she only studied for five years before returning home to help her mother share the housework. In the days I spent with her, she once said something to me that made me feel very distressed, although she had a father, her brother was more like her father.

Hei's mother was worried about our relationship at first. She was worried that after Xi Xiyuan married in China, she would encounter various difficulties due to language and cultural barriers, and she would feel lonely in a foreign country. She was more worried about whether I would be able to give Heeki the love and support she deserved.

(Laos Landscape)

In order to reassure her, I decided to prove my sincerity and affection for Nozomi through my actions.

I went to Nozoe's home several times to help Nozoe's mother dig cassava. Although this work was not easy for me, my hard work and dedication made her see my determination and love for Xixi.

In addition to helping with the family's farm work, I also arranged a few trips for Hei Xi to travel with her mother. During the trip, we shared many wonderful moments, which not only deepened the bond between us, but also allowed Heiki's mother to see how sincere I am for Xixi.

Through repeated reassurances and commitments, as well as my practical actions, Xixi's mother completely let go of her worries.

After a month or two of communication, my feelings for Hei Xi became stronger and stronger, so I went to her hometown and proposed to her. I carefully prepared a bride price equivalent to 40,000 yuan, which is not only an expression of Xixi's sincerity, but also a solemn commitment to her future married life.

(The village chief presided over the bolting ceremony for us)

At the engagement ceremony, we held a special tie-up ceremony. The ceremony was presided over by the village chief and witnessed by relatives from all over the village.

The village chief and parents tied yellow threads to our wrists to symbolize purity and sacredness, while relatives and friends tied white threads to symbolize joy and hope. When the ceremony is completed, the intertwined white and yellow lines symbolize the bond that we have become husband and wife. In Lao culture, this is a deep blessing and a recognition and celebration for the newlyweds.

After the tie-up ceremony, according to Lao custom, we were officially married. However, since it was not suitable to stay at a relative's house, we chose to stay in a hotel and start to apply for a Chinese marriage certificate, which took about two or three months. During this time, I began to teach Nozomi Chinese bit by bit.

(Our Marriage Certificate)

Returning to China from Laos, we went straight back to my hometown in Anhui. It was November, and the Chinese New Year was still far away, so instead of rushing into work, I chose to stay at home with Xixi and help her adjust to her new environment.

I still vividly remember the joy and excitement I felt when I had lunch with Hei Xi for the first time, and I couldn't help but take a picture of us and send this beautiful moment to my parents. They felt the tenderness and beauty of Nozomi through the photos, and immediately fell in love with her, expressing great support and approval for our marriage.

When I took Xixi back to my hometown, my mother took time out of her way to rush home from Xiamen, just to express her welcome and attention to Xixi. Although the time was short, the affection and care made Xixi feel the warmth and acceptance of home. After a short reunion, my mother hurriedly returned to Xiamen to take care of her son Haohao, who was studying in Xiamen, while we started a new chapter in our hometown.

(At the airport when we returned home, the family came to see us off)

Xixi is full of curiosity and amazement at everything about China. She had never seen such spectacular high-rises and bustling shopping malls, all in stark contrast to her peaceful hometown in Laos. She thinks everything about China is beautiful and fascinating.

After that, I took Xixi to my sister's house in Shanghai. In the past month or so in Shanghai, we have traveled to every corner of the city.

Xixi was shocked by China's prosperity and modernization. Although Vientiane is the capital of Laos, the level of development in her eyes is equivalent to that of a small county in China. When she stood under China's high-rise buildings and witnessed the country's cultural and economic development, her heart was filled with shock.

During the Spring Festival, my parents took Hao Hao home with me, and this was the first time Xi Xi met my son Hao Hao. Hee-hee is very good to Hao-ho, she often plays games with him, and their relationship is more like a friend than a stepmother and stepson in the traditional sense.

(Photo of me and Xixi taking the bullet train when we went back to our hometown in China)

My parents were very kind to Hihi, especially my mother, who often learned to cook Lao food in order to alleviate her unaccustomed diet. On a daily basis, they always do housework together, talk and laugh, and share the bits and pieces of life.

In Laos, I stayed for more than five months. During this period, from food, clothing, housing and transportation to bride price and certificates, my savings gradually decreased until there was not much left. When I returned to China with Xixi, I found myself shy. Faced with financial difficulties, I didn't want my parents to share the burden for me, so we didn't hold a banquet or take wedding photos.

I was deeply touched by Nozoki's sensibility and thoughtfulness. She always said, "I'll shoot when you have the money later." I know that deep down, she also longs to have a set of wedding photos of her own. After all, who doesn't dream of wearing a beautiful wedding dress at the wedding, both domestic and foreign?

We didn't even buy a wedding ring, but in order to be considerate of me, in order not to embarrass me, she chose to be understanding and patient.

(Photo of Heeki in my hometown)

Shee is frugal and never unreasonable, and she always asks my opinion before buying anything. I was very touched by the respect she had for me, as well as her frugality and family.

After coming to Xiamen, I continued to work as a food delivery worker. Heeki was very worried about this, and every time I went out in the morning, she would tell me to drive slower and be careful.

One rainy day, she was worried that it was unsafe for me to deliver food and didn't even want me to go to work. Her care and love made me feel extremely warm and happy.

Even though Heiki's father left her when she was very young, she didn't hold a grudge against her. After marrying in China, when she learned that her father was sick and had no money to buy medicine, she still discussed with me and hoped to transfer the money to her father. Nozomi's tolerance and kindness filled me with respect and love for her.

(Photo of Heeki at my old house)

I put a lot of time and energy into spending time with Xixi and helping her gradually adjust to life in China. She worked very hard to learn Chinese, and now she is able to communicate in Chinese at a basic level.

She can confidently go shopping on her own, go for a walk in the park, and even chat pleasantly with passers-by. I am extremely proud and relieved to see her progress and growth.

Now that Heeki is pregnant, we are full of new expectations and plans for the future. I am considering returning to my hometown for development, and I will work harder to hold up a sky for Xixi and our small family.

I believe that as long as we work together, we will be able to create a family full of love and happiness. No matter what the road ahead holds, we will face it together, overcome it together, and enjoy every beautiful moment of life together.

[Dictation: Ah Peng]

[Author: Ping Ping]

[Editor: Xiaoqi]

We can't experience different lives, but we can feel different life trajectories here, every photo here is a bit of life, every story is a real life, if you also like it, please click to follow!

(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）

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Personal opinion, for reference only